Life after a tubaligation..
62 Replies
China - March 28

I happened to find this message board will looking around the internet for answers to why I am so blue.
I have been reading the messages and couldn't believe what a great group of people you all are.
I have been trying IVF for 3.5 years now. I had a tubaligation at 25 after a really bad abusive relationship.
Years later I met and I'm still with my husband. He raised my two children and a neice of mine after her parents died. He has been the greatest dad ever. The Problem is he has no children and IVF has been one failure after another. I currently did a cryo transfer last monday and have been having cramps, discomfort & pain in the ovaries. I also have been very down. I don't know if I'm just afraid to hope or the hormones are getting to me. :(. Any ideas?

 

Latina - April 10

Hola China,
wow listening to your story reminds me of my own. I had my tubes done at 21 and had them reversed at 26. Like you i was in an abusive relationship and thought I would be with this person forever. I have been with my DH for 13 years and tried two IVF cycles and one FET cycle. 1 IVF cycle failed and the other one was a chemical pregnancy with a beta count of 15.. The FET cycle also to my surprise ended up to be a chemical pregnancy with a beta count of 88. The ladies in this site are wonderful expecially when you need to vent. As i have when I have become frustrated. Im planning on doing another FET cycle next month and hope it takes this time. I have put on close to 10lbs and struggling to take it off by the time i do another cycle. GOOD LUCK and BABY DUST TO YOU!

 

China - April 11

It felt really good getting out of that situation but It still haunts me. Every time I had a failed cycle I would think "what if...". I only tied my tubes because I never wanted to become pregnant with him and make a bad situation worse. I promised my self to stop doing that. I was already planning a tubal revfersal when I found out I was actually pregnant! I could have bet BIG money I wasn't with all the spotting.
Yesterday was really scary also because I had one large spotting episode. Though Brown tinged, I was scared. I went to my fertility doctor (Bless His Hands) and he said all looked good. Brown spotting may occur again but I still get nervous thinking about it. I'm 5 weeks 2 days...Can't wait until 12 weeks.

Good luck and tons of Baby Dust to you!!!!

 

Fortyfour - April 11

Congrats on the pg China. They say brown spotting is ok. Just not frank red blood. Take care and may that belly keep on growing.

Good luck Latina. Do you have an approximate date yet?

 

BabyBound - April 11

Congratulations, China. Stay positive and take it easy. Hopefully, you will get to 12 weeks in a breeze and everything will turn out fine. Enjoy, Enjoy, Enjoy.

 

Latina - April 12

Hi Fourtyfour,
Im not sure if I am going to do another cycle. I had planned on doing a FET cycle this month, because I have frozen embys left BUT my relationship is falling apart from all stress. Im hoping we will be able to weather the storm but its not looking that way. :(
It's been a tough month. I started to bleed after my last FET cycle and thought it was a no go. Then my RN calls and tells me me beta was 88. I had to basically wait the whole weekend with "what if". It was brutal. I had to go in 3 more times before my beta registered to 0. I was extremely disappointed and sad with this cycle but the worst part was that I felt like I was alone and not in a good place. Im not sure what I plan on doing with my frozen embies..I might just say the hell with him and do the last FET on my own and hope for the best..But then me realistic side kicks in and I have to ask myself"ARE YA CRAZY" its safe to say I HAVE A DILEMA!!What do you think? ::)

 

Fortyfour - April 12

Latina, I am so sorry about the chemical pregnacy, With my first pg my bets was 50, then 78 and then by the 4th bets it started to double. He told on the second beta that the baby would not probably make it so we were freaky until the us. Then a heartbeat only to lose the baby at 10 wks. I dont want to go throught that beta blood draw game again thank you. I shook for days waiting for the results and then having to have another test. I am soooo sorry that you had to go through this.

My hubby and I had a really rough patch before this ivf and I was also not sure whether i should be going through with it. I realize now it was because of the stress of it and glad we did it and kept on with the relationship. I realize now how much my hormones made me insure and anxious. I do not know what is exactly going on for you both but if you guys are usually strong together and it just a situational bad time then hang in there. I was going to move out at one point before my ivf because I thought he was not "involved" enough. But guys pull away during stress and we try to get closer. It is so hard on both partners. Take some time and heal and let your emotions and hormones settle and then take another look at it all. Take care my friend. My thoughts are with you.

 

China - April 13

Latina, Men stress during these times just as much as we do but unlike us they don't like to talk about it. They ignore it, complain ...but don't really show when they are disappointed or scared for that matter.
Why don't you two just go away for a weekend...No baby talk, Just the two of you. When the weekend is almost over sit down and have a heart to heart and decide together.
I'll be praying for u. Just remember, U have to be happy first.

 

Latina - April 13

Thank you for your words of wisdom. We are planning a nice weekend away without the whole baby thing. Of course my period just came and Im eager to call the doctor to do my last FET cycle.Im so scared to hold off because I feel like my biological clock is ticking ticking. Not to mention that everytime I walk out my door people are always asking "when are you going to give that man a baby?" I just want to scream at the top of my lungs"what do you think ive ben trying to do for the last 5 years!"to top thhings of noone knows that im even doing IVF. Its hard but im sure we will work it out. I just dont want this whole infertility thing to take away another part of me.

 

lis - October 18

:-\

Hi ladies,

I'm suppose to go on Thur. this week for my surgery and I am so nervous and scared. I'm 29 and have an 8 yr old girl and a 4 yr old boy. My husband says he wouldn't mind if we had another one, but he says that maybe it's best if I do go a get it done, we're both still kinda of like yes and no.... I keep talking my self out of having another by reminding myself how bad my 2 pregnancy were, passing out and feeling sick all day long. I also, don't want to go through the changing of the diapers and the food and child care and so on, but just to think that I can no longer have one if I do decide on one is driving me crazy I feel like I'm losing something by doing this. Can some please help ease my mind.....
Thanks :-[

 

lis - October 18

:-\

Hi ladies,

I'm suppose to go on Thur. this week for my surgery and I am so nervous and scared. I'm 29 and have an 8 yr old girl and a 4 yr old boy. My husband says he wouldn't mind if we had another one, but he says that maybe it's best if I do go a get it done, we're both still kinda of like yes and no.... I keep talking my self out of having another by reminding myself how bad my 2 pregnancy were, passing out and feeling sick all day long. I also, don't want to go through the changing of the diapers and the food and child care and so on, but just to think that I can no longer have one if I do decide on one is driving me crazy I feel like I'm losing something by doing this. Can some please help ease my mind.....
Thanks :-[

 

lis - October 18

[email protected]

 

LAURA D. - November 29

Hi Ladies,
I think I have found the right place to seek advice. I am so not alone as I read that alot of you have gone through the same mess I have. I was in a bad marriage and had my tubes tied after my 2nd son, thinking I would never have the courage to leave him. Well 6 years and a wonderful new husband later, we are discussing baby plans! My boys are 10 & 8 y.o. and I thought I was done, but this man so deserves a biological child. He is an amazing Dad to my sons and we are all lucky to have him! He was actually ok with not having one until recently. We have had ALOT of births in the family recently and I can see the look in his eyes. He is ready.
I called my OB today and I am just devastated. The procedure will cost $8,000, of which we don't exactly have lying around. I am hoping there are other ways around a reversal. If anyone has any information or advice for us, please write soon! I don't even know where to begin.
Thanks so much!

 

jonesherrod - December 1

Hi,
Im new to this so bare with me! I'm 30 I have four kids and I just got remarried and I had my tubes tided 3 years ago. My question is, can you get pregant without have the reversal? I lactaed with my last child for a about well 4 yrs until I had my tubal> well I just noticed this morning that after all this time I am lactating again.
I have been feeling sick and I'm just not sure is it really possible?

 

jonesherrod - December 1

Hi,
Im new to this so bare with me! I'm 30 I have four kids and I just got remarried and I had my tubes tided 3 years ago. My question is, can you get pregant without have the reversal? I lactaed with my last child for a about well 4 yrs until I had my tubal> well I just noticed this morning that after all this time I am lactating again.
I have been feeling sick and I'm just not sure is it really possible?

 

tranee - January 17

my doctor said that your tubes can come untied anywhere between three to seven years and i was woundering if this was true because i want to have another child

 

chynnadoll - January 19

tranee, I have heard that as well, I know someone whos tubes came untied and she conceived but she also got an abortion :-\, but she already has five children! I heard if they don't tie them and burn them they can come untied in 3 to 7 years also....Good Luck....China

 

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