Need to vent
2 Replies
WannaBaMamma - November 12

My husband and I have been TTC for 19 months. I have one blocked fallopian tube and he has a low sperm count. We have been trying to do a IUI for the last 4 months, but 3 out of the 4 I ovulated on the same side as my blocked fallopian tube. (One month my doc was out of town). I am starting to become very angry and bitter. I have done everything right. Waited til I was married (most around me have not), finished college, was financially ready, I dont drink or smoke, I take my vitamins and my husband and I are still madly in love. I feel like I being punished for something.
Everyone keeps saying "It will happen when you quit trying", "If you just relax it will happen", "It will happen when the time is right", "Everything happens for a reason". And I hate to say it, but I just wanna scream at all of them to shove it! If that was the case, it would have happened by now. The fact is things are wrong and it may not happen!
Then I have to watch those around me become pregnant. One already has 3 kids in a 2 bedroom house. One has 4 kids and hates her husband. So don't tell me everything happens for a reason. What is the reason I can't be blessed with a baby and they can?!?!
I know I sound selfish and angry and childish, but I can't help it. This is how I feel and no one understands. I have no one to talk to about it.
Does anyone else who is going through infertility feel like I do or am I just a bad person?

 

speq - February 2

I know I'm a few months late replying, but I have had the EXACT same thoughts as you. It is extremely hard to share what's going on with people that haven't been through what we're going through. It is just not fair. Some people say, "well, life's not fair". They're right and it isn't...but I want to know why we're being punished this way?! I erased my Facebook b/c it seems like every friend my age from high school or college is pregnant. I just don't understand why it hasn't happened for me yet. I am a good person and have gone by "society's rules", like you said: college, financial, otherwise healthy, happy marriage, etc. It seems so easy for those who aren't in the same situation...sigh. I am by no means perfect (who is), so it is just so hard to understand.

Thank you for venting! I am glad to hear someone share my thoughts. Have you had any new developments? I am 2 WW during my first IVF attempt. It is the only way my husband and I can get pregnant.

 

Baby wish - July 31

I totally know what u are going thru. It seems everyone is pregnant around me. Even my best friend who waited 3months to tell me and I can't bring myself to talk to her anymore. I know it's childish but it's just the way I feel. I feel for ya girl!

 

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