When Am I Done?

When we first start fertility treatments we rarely think about the chance that we might not get pregnant. We wouldn't waste precious time, energy, or our life savings on something we think wouldn't work. Instead, we put our trust in medical advances that seem to work for so many people. But what if you never find just the right treatment or hit just the right cycle? Then what? When do you know when it's time to stop fertilty treatments?

How Will You Know?
Unfortunately, there is no clear cut answer to this question. Everyone goes through different emotions and feelings that hint to them that it may be time to stop. Here are some questions that you may want to ask yourself in order to decide if you should stop pursuing fertility treaments:

• Do you feel positively about your fertility treatments?
• Do you look forward to ending your treatment sessions?
• Are you still following your doctor's recommendations?
• Would you regret it if you stopped treatments?
• Are you comfortable with other options, like living childfree?
• Are you suffering financially?
• Is your relationship under strain because of the treatments?
• Is your body up to it?

Change of Mind
Deciding not to continue on with fertility treatment doesn't just come down to fatigue or money. What it really comes down to is accepting that you may never find a treatment that works for you. Until you are ready to understand and accept that you might never have a biological child, you may find it difficult to stop treatments. Many women sign up for that "last" treatment, only to continue on unsuccessfully, with many more. So if you are contemplating ending treatments, be prepared to accept a change of mindset.

Changing the way you think about your fertility is not easy, and it is something that you have to be ready to do on your own. There are no simple steps you can take to get to the "place" where you are able to let fertility treatments go. However, many couples do find encouragement in different resources:

• Find out about your other options, like adoption and surrogacy. This will help to open your mind to new possibilities.
• Talk to others who are going through a similar experience as you are. Sometimes, seeing things through another person's eyes can really help you to move on.
• Join a support group, either in your community or online. Support groups are places where you can find information about all sorts of options as well as find some supportive friends.
• See an independent counselor. Counselors are trained to help you hear own needs and wants better.
• Talk with your partner about your feelings.