Leaving Infertility Behind
It can be difficult to leave the comfort and familiarity of your fertility clinic and regular fertility doctors. You are probably used to seeing these people on a regular basis and may have formed strong bonds or friendships with them. It can be sad to leave them behind. You may also feel nervous about seeing a "regular" obstetrician or midwife for your prenatal care appointments. You may worry that you are not receiving enough attention or that procedures are too lax.
If you are having difficulties adjusting, ask if you can make a few more appointments than usual until you become familiar with staff and more comfortable in your pregnancy. You may also discover that your relationships with other infertile couples have become strained since you got pregnant. It is important to talk with one another honestly, and discuss each other’s joys and jealousies. You will find that you need a lot of support from friends and family right now, so it is important to keep the lines of communication open.
Adjusting to PregnancyAdjusting to pregnancy is hard for any woman, but you may find it to be even more of an adjustment. You may also find it hard to discuss these difficulties with your partner, friends, or family members. Many women who have undergone fertility treatments feel that they are not "allowed" to complain about morning sickness, fatigue, and muscle aches.
You may find that this feeling continues after your baby is born, and that you are reluctant to express your true frustrations about breastfeeding or getting little sleep. Try to remember that you are allowed to vent your frustrations, just like anybody else is. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love and appreciate your baby.
Tips to Help You Express Your EmotionsIt is important to address all of the emotions that arise during your pregnancy, whether its sadness, anger, or joy. Here are some ways to help you facilitate this process:
- Hold frequent conversations with your partner about your fears, hopes, and anxieties.
- Keep a journal, in which you outline how you are feeling each day or week of your pregnancy.
- Allow yourself to enjoy your pregnancy – buy some clothes, toys, and go to those baby showers!
- Practice believing in yourself and your baby. Believe that parenting will happen for you and your partner.