Emotions During Pregnancy
Finally getting word of a positive pregnancy test can be a joyful and exciting experience. After trying different fertility treatments for so long, a positive pregnancy test can make it all worth it. But you may find yourself emotionally overwhelmed by the results. It is often difficult to move out of the treatment mindset – hoping for the best, but expecting nothing – and it is entirely normal to feel scared, worried, or fearful about your upcoming pregnancy. After all, this pregnancy is precious to you and took hard work and courage to achieve. Here is some important information about the emotions that you may face during this next step in your life.
Previous Pregnancy Losses
If you have suffered previous pregnancy losses, it may be difficult to see this pregnancy as any different. You may find that you and your partner are afraid to get too excited about the pregnancy in case something goes wrong, like it did before. You may even "expect" to lose this baby in an effort to reduce the pain and suffering should it actually happen. It is important to discuss these fears together and share your innermost feelings with one another. This will help you to rationalize your fears and put to rest some of those worries.
Many couples worry about miscarriages when they are expecting. If you have tried harder and longer than most couples to get pregnant, you may feel like you have even more at stake. The idea of miscarriage may prevent you from telling family and friends that you are pregnant. Or you may be upset that family members aren’t as worried about miscarriage as you and your partner are. It is important to explain your fears to your friends and family, so that they know how to support you.
Miscarriage worries often prevent women from shopping for baby or maternity clothes until that last trimester. You may find yourself thinking, if you don’t buy anything, loss will be easier to deal with if it does happen. This may have a direct impact on how you much you enjoy your pregnancy, which every woman deserves.
Leaving Infertility Behind
It can be difficult to leave the comfort and familiarity of your fertility clinic and regular fertility doctors. You are probably used to seeing these people on a regular basis and may have formed strong bonds or friendships with them. It can be sad to leave them behind. You may also feel nervous about seeing a "regular" obstetrician or midwife for your prenatal care appointments. You may worry that you are not receiving enough attention or that procedures are too lax. If you are having difficulties adjusting, ask if you can make a few more appointments then usual until you become familiar with staff and more comfortable in your pregnancy.
You may also discover that your relationships with other infertile couples have become strained since you got pregnant. It is important to talk with one another honestly, and discuss each other’s joys and jealousies. You will find that you need a lot of support from friends and family right now, so it is important to keep the lines of communication open.
Adjusting to Pregnancy
Adjusting to pregnancy is hard for any woman, but you may find it to be even more of an adjustment. You may also find it hard to discuss these difficulties with your partner, friends, or family members. Many women who have undergone fertility treatments feel that they are not "allowed" to complain about morning sickness, fatigue, and muscle aches. You may find that this feeling continues after your baby is born, and that you are reluctant to express your true frustrations about breastfeeding or getting little sleep. Try to remember that you are allowed to vent your frustrations, just like anybody else is. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love and appreciate your baby.
Tips to Help You Express Your Emotions
It is important to address all of the emotions that arise during your pregnancy, whether its sadness, anger, or joy. Here are some ways to help you facilitate this process:
- Hold frequent conversations with your partner about your fears, hopes, and anxieties.
- Keep a journal, in which you outline how you are feeling each day or week of your pregnancy.
- Allow yourself to enjoy your pregnancy – buy some clothes, toys, and go to those baby showers!
- Practice believing in yourself and your baby. Believe that parenting will happen for you and your partner.
When it hasn't been easy to get pregnant, it can be especially hard to just relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Help yourself deal with some of your fears while helping other women understand that their fears are normal by sharing your feelings on Pregnancy Stories.