No Epididymis
2 Replies
galaxaura - April 13

So after 10 years of marriage my husband and i finally go get tested for our fertility issue. (yeah I know we're slow) but we never tried not to get pregnant during our marriage. We just thogh it would happen and 10 years flew by. I'm 32 now and he's 36. I am healthy and he was born with agenetic abnormality. No epididymis. He can't mature his sperm so he basically has none in his ejaculate. We are told our best bets are in this order:
Adoption
Sperm Donation
IVF

We're waiting to see if we can retrieve immature sperm from him to develop in lab conditions but we're not sure if that will be possible or not. I think we get results tomorrow.

Through a ll this I m so sad. The one thing I wanted in this world and thought I could have was a child eventually. I was ready all this time and to find out I can't have my husband's child is such a shock to us both. Since his first sperm analysis we haven't even made love. I love him so much I want to stop all this crazy testing and talk about kids. I want him to feel like a man. I want to have a family with him.

He doesn't want sperm donation. I don't either.
IVF is scary and expensive. So is adoption.

I never thought something like this would be true.

 

desertnonnie - May 5

Dear Galaxaura,

That is truly heartbreaking news. My DH is only 24 now, 21 when diagnosed with really low sperm counts. With us, it is a combined factor, but I know my husband had a period of time where he felt like 'less of a man' because of his sperm count. Worse, people who knew about it have made the dumbest comments imaginable! I highly recommend you keep the reason for you infertility to yourselves and your most trusted family and friends.

Our sex life suffered terribly, too. But I think you'll find that is normal for many couples newly diagnosed with infertility. Your marriage will change forever no matter what choice you make. If it survives, it will be stronger than other marriages you see! This journey is not for the faint of heart. I can understand your hesitation about donor sperm even though my husband is not opposed to it. We are now in our first cycle of IVF, waiting for a pregnancy test on May 7, 2008. It has NOT been scary. It HAS been emotionally taxing, though. You will find yourself more angry and worried than anything else. I will keep an eye on your posts.

By the way, please tell your hubby that I find my husband to be ten times the man others are! He has submitted to humiliating tests, painful surgery, and in-depth 'grading' of the contents of his body. He thinks about and plans what kind of father he will be when and if the time comes, and has stood by me and supported me through this crazy mess so tenderly I feel bad for every other married woman I know, whether or not they have children!

 

twinmama - July 12

Hi Galaxaura,
I understand what you are feeling. I really do. My DH was diagnosed with azoospermia in Feb 2007. We did IVF-ICSI in April '07 using a frozen testicular biopsy that yielded 11 abnormal looking sperm. We ended up with 6 fertilized eggs, transferred 4, none stuck. Probably "God's way" of telling us that it was not a healthy baby. We took a break after that because it emotionally wrecked me. We considered adoption and donors too. I just really really wanted to be pregnant and experience the miracle of childbirth, so my husband agreed to press on with IVF, and even said he might consider donor, which he was kind of opposed to in the beginning. Can't say I blame him. It's a big blow to the male ego. We went to Cornell in NYC to the experts so they say, and we were going to do another round of IVF using the TESE procedure there, but we ended up deciding to stay home in Tucson because we found a new RE and urologist team we liked here. So, in May '08 I did my part again and my DH went in for the TESE surgery ($6000 JUST for the TESE) on the same day I had my egg retrieval. Let me tell you that was quite a day! Anyways, I did order donor sperm to use as well just in case. They found a few abnormal looking sperm. I had 8 good looking eggs to use, they fertilized 5 using a donor and 3 with my hubby's. All five DS fertilized, one of my DH fertilized. Looking at the images of all 6 it was so obvious that the one from my husband was not normal. It was crushing, but at the same time we had 5 beautiful embryos we could use. We talked about it a lot, and chose a donor that matched my husband, and had similar interests and intellectual aptitude. We transferred the best 2 embies and today I am 11 weeks along with twins. The other 3 were not frozen after day 5 because the embryologist said they were not progressing in the lab so not to freeze and attempt rethaw later it probably would not work. They all know my emotions are fragile so they did not want to even just in case, because most likely would be dead after thaw anyways. But, we have a pregnancy now, and I can still do an IUI later with the same donor. It's a long road. My hubby still has his moments of feeling insignificant in the pregnancy, but he wants to be a dad, and I know that he will love these babies because they came from me, and the process we went through to have them is all about our love and the love we want to give to a new life and raise a family. Whatever you decide, adoption, donor, IVF....it will be the right choice for you. I still think it might be nice to adopt. Your misfortune turns into a gift for a child that does not have a family. Always remember that life is good. I am sorry you are going through this. You are at the earliest stages of the process. It took a while for the anger to subside for us and grief to heal and move onto a solution for us to build a family. I am 36 and he is 46, so we had to move on our decisions because we are already getting up there! Keep us posted. I want to know how you are feeling and what you decide. Remember that your hubby is in LOT of pain. I know you are too, but he is the one carrying the burdon of the physical inability to have his own biological child. Give him time. He may come around. Be gentle. Write him letters about what you feel. Show him the options. Remember my hubby did not feel he could go with donor but the further we got along, he came around. Best of luck to you. - Tina

 

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