considering IVF but confused
12 Replies
Kaz - May 11

This may be kinda long, but I need advice from someone who understands this IF hell! My dh and I went back to the RE today (after I had 2 failed and 2 cancelled iui/clomid cycles). It's sounding like IVF is probably our best option. I have 1 daughter, conceived naturally, but since then they have found that my tubes are both blocked. Had surgery last summer to flush them out (considered successful) but still no luck. The doc thinks I may have scarring, etc. in my tubes, possibly from my pregnancy 3 years ago. He says he can't tell this for sure, but if the tubes really are blocked, iui won't work, even with injectables. So I don't know what to do. It's either try a couple months of IUI with injectables or go to IVF or get off this IF rollercoaster for awhile! Sometimes I think I should just be done with it, especially since we have been blessed with our little girl. But I want so badly to give her a little brother or sister and know that I'm really not ready to give up that dream. Financing this is also an issue, so I don't want to waste our money on IUI anymore if there's no chance it will work. This sucks! My heart breaks for each of you as i read your stories. IF is just so unfair. Thanks for listening to my vent...I'm just having one of those days.


shaz - May 11

Hi Kaz,

You have every right to get frustrated and down. We all do sometimes and to be able to vent is what we need. I have been on IVF for 10 years and am also lucky enough to have been blessed with a daughter (5yo). When we decided that we would like another child and we had a failed cycle, I had some comments made to me like, "Oh well at least you have one".....Yes I am grateful, but having a child is not a cure for infertility, it can never be cured. (most of the time)

Good luck on your journey whatever you decide.



Fortyfour - May 12

shaz - you have a hard decision to make. I heard that the fallopian tube is only as thick as a piece of hair. It wouldnt take much to block that. I always thought the nice part of ivf was that you knew the egg and the sperm made an embryo and are actually in the uterus waiting for nature to take its course. Take care and I hope the decision results come soon for you.


Kaz - May 12

Fortyfour and Shaz
I totally agree...there's something nice about at least knowing that sperm and egg have met! The doctor said that the fact that we conceived our daughter on our own leads him to believe that it is not a fertilization issue but a matter of getting the sperm and egg together. Dh and I had a long talk last night, and I think we're leaning toward doing the IVF. Only thing is, we could only afford to do 1 cycle this calendar year, so not sure when to do it. Part of me just wants to get going with it, but part of me wants to wait until fall. We're going to sit on it for a week or so and hope that we'll feel more at peace with a decision after that. Thanks so much for your support!


SMS1129 - May 12

Hi Kaz,

I can relate. I went through 3 failed IUI cycles with my OB and then found out from an RE that I have partially blocked tubes from an ectopic pg I had 18 years ago. Who would have known?? I was told in April that IVF is my only option too. I am starting that rollercoaster ride on the 24th of this month. I guess I could have waited a few months, but I have never been long on patience and I am 38, so we are moving ahead.

In the end, it is yours and your dh's decision. I wish you luck with making it.

Take care,



ElizabethS - May 13

Hi Kaz,
I am betting that you would have wondeful success with IVF. I lost both of my fallopian tubes due to some recent surgeries. My husband and I did IVF in March and just found out we are having triplets. :o

Since you already have a child, I believe that the only thing keeping you from a pregnancy is that the sperms and eggs aren't meeting.

Before me tubes were removed, my OB/GYN told me that they haven't had much success in keeping tubes open after flushing them out.

Good luck in your decision. I will say some prayers for you.


Kaz - May 13

This whole tube thing frustrates me because the RE can't seem to tell us why they're blocked. His guess is that it was something to do with my pregnancy, but that's just a guess. I also had been looking at my hysteroscopy/laparoscopy surgery as something that "fixed" the problem, but now I know it was an attempt to clear things out but not a done deal. I think deep down I feel like IVF is our best chance, and why not go for it. I'm nervous about the whole process and all the shots, but I hope that I'll forget that part of it one day.

Elizabeth-CONGRATS on your triplets! I wish you a happy and uneventful pregnancy.
Sue-I'm so not patient either! It's more my dh that is leaning towards waiting. I say let's just go! Good luck to you. Maybe you can tell me how it is!


SMS1129 - May 14


I will certainly tell you how it goes. I start the process on the 24th of this month.

My dh is eager to move forward too, so no issues there. He is 37 and I am 38.



WantsBaby2 - May 14

We could be cycle buddies. We are doing IVF soon too!



Fortyfour - May 14

Good luck ladies with your cycle. I pray that you are all pg before I start in July.

I would like to do my ivf after my daughter comes down for her vacation with me. I dont want any morning sickness to slow me down and we are going back to North Dakota and my asthma gets so bad when I am there I dont want to suffer or take meds that could hurt the baby.

Take care all.


Kaz - May 15

I think we're going to go for it and start the IVF process. We're still a little up in the air on when to do it. I'm the type that once I decide something, I want to take action sooner rather than later. My dh is not that way and wants to wait a little bit. My only fear about doing it right away is that if it fails, I'll have to wait 6 whole months before trying again (because of our insurance). Then again, maybe 6 months truly "off" from IF treatment would be welcomed at that point. And of course, maybe it will work! Any thoughts from those of you who have been through the IVF process?
Thanks and baby dust to you all.


meridithhasfaith - May 16


I am sorry you are going through the tough decision making part about IVF now. One question though.

Have you completed all of the IVF bloodwork? (I don't know what they make you do for IUI) If you haven't, you will have to do that and then wait for results, then get a game plan, possible start bcp, then injections...

My point could take about 2-3 months from starting until pg test. So if you were thinking you would have to wait 6 months to try again, it would likely be only 3-4 months before trying again. Just thought I would run that by you.

My dh said I am the queen of thinking things to death! lol

Good luck in whatever you decide,


Kaz - May 16

Thanks for the tip. I believe I have already done all the testing, but I do need to be on BCP for 1 month. I just put a call into the RE's office and am hoping to start the BCP next cycle and then IVF the following. You're right, it really wouldn't be 6 months in between. I'm trying to just be positive about it, and if it doesn't work, we'll have a good break and hopefully be ready to give it another try in January.



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