Helping Those Dealing With Infertility
Those of us suffering from infertility are often labeled "overly-sensitive" when it comes to discussions of pregnancy and fertility. Even the most innocent, well-intentioned advice can cause the floodgates to open and the tears to flow, leaving the advice-giver speechless (or worse, on the defensive). Truly, you can only understand the depth of emotion when you, too, have suffered through month after month of charting temperatures, looking for fertility signs, taking medication, buying expensive ovulation and pregnancy test kits, wistfully remembering the days of wonderful, spontaneous intercourse--only to be disappointed when your period starts and the whole process begins again.
The infertile couple deeply wants something that is basic to human nature-to have a child of their own to love and nurture. This desire leads to the deepest recesses of despair when it becomes clear that nature doesn’t plan to fill that need. Nothing you can say will satisfy that desire or ease the desperation.
A man and woman suffering from infertility have read books, done research, and educated themselves about medical treatment. No advice you can give or information you can share will be helpful-they’ve already read it or heard it.
Your mission is to be sensitive to a couple’s situation, no matter what that situation is. When she is ready to discuss things with you, she will. Until then, it is best to remain silently curious. We've got some great tips on how to speak sensitively to someone going through infertility.