Health: Are you worn out?
When deciding on ending fertility treatments, health is often an issue. Both of you may want to discuss how you are feeling physically and emotionally.
Here are some things to think about:
- are you feeling more and more tired lately?
- do you feel sad, angry, or are your fighting depression?
- have you had any miscarriages?
- do you feel that you are physically capable of undergoing more treatments?
The odds of pregnancy are often a big factor in determining if you will continue treatment. The longer you try treatments though, the less of a chance you have of becoming pregnant. Talk openly and honestly about whether you feel the odds are worth it.
Couples often forget about their relationships temporarily when undergoing fertility treatment. But your relationship can suffer from the continued stress that therapy brings.
- are you fighting more than usual?
- do you feel guilty, angry, or frustrated with your partner?
- is sexual intercourse becoming difficult or anxiety provoking?
It is important to understand the effects that fertility treatment may be having on your relationship.
Though it’s unfortunate, fertility treatment is big business and very expensive. Consider your financial stability and how the costs of continued treatment may affect your lifestyle.
- can you afford more treatments?
- will you have to take out large loans or another mortgage to finance treatment?
- are you dipping into retirement funds or other long-term investments?
You and your partner should also take some time to discuss some of your other options.
- are you open to adoption?
- will you be disappointed if your child is not "biologically" yours?
- will you be happy living childfree?
Tips on Keeping the Conversation Going
Talking about ending fertility treatments can be very emotional and might sometimes be difficult. Here are some ways to keep the communication channels open:
- Take turns stating your own opinions on each subject.
- Don’t interrupt each other. After you have each stated your feelings, take a moment to clarify or come to a compromise.
- Respect each other’s feelings. Everyone is entitled to their own emotions.
- If you have difficulty talking about your feelings, try writing them down.
- Have a professional counselor help you talk to each other about your feelings.