Just when you think you're ok.
11 Replies
Fortyfour - October 19

Hi ladies, I went to the air force base to be checked out after my car accident. They told me that I would be having a new doc. When she walked in the room she looked familiar to me and she said I also looked familiar. We thought and thought and then it hit me. She was in the pregnancy class that we have to take for our military insurance. S***!!!!!! She looked at me, smiled and said she was doing great and asked how I was. I burst into tears and said I had m/c. My hubby was with me and gave me that look that said, Hold it together. The poor thing looked so uncomfortable that I almost felt bad for reacting so strongly. I then felt so angry that I wanted to leave. I felt like I had been slapped in the face and stabbed in the heart at the same time. But like a good infertile I composed myself and finished talking about my sore neck and back, blah, blah blah.

When we got to the car I started crying and just started yelling, I wanted to know why other people get to have their babies live and all mine have died. My husband was crying and we just drove along until the strong feelings subsided. Geez. I thought I had come to terms with most of this and then this. You just never know what is around the corner.

My husband called me later to say that I guy at work just told everyone that his wife is pregnant with twins. I guess it is a hard on the heart day. Tomorrow is guarenteed to be a good one then.

Sorry for the downer.

My hystosalpingogram is for Monday. Yuck!! I will be glad to get it over with. I will tell myself that it wont be as bad a childbirth if its too uncomfortable.

Take care all. My prayers are with all of us.

 

pj - October 19

so sorry for your tears.
they do seem to come out of nowhere sometimtes, but you deserve a good cry once in a while.
once a heart is so completely broken, i find it leaks a little more often. :(
-pj

 

sblanton2 - October 19

44,
Tough day, I am sorry that it was a bad one. I know you will get everything figured out. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Babydust....tons of it.
Sylvia

 

baby4us - October 19

44... your post brought tears to my eyes.. I can't even imagine how you felt...I am sure that some of the bottled emotions can be attributed to your recent trauma of the car accident.. plus the reminders of others being pregnant... not a good combination.

But you are such a strong woman.. and bring inspiration to everyone here on the boards... AND it's about bloody time you got some good news... so I am hoping your hysto Monday goes smoothly and that you are one step closer to your next round of SUCCESSFUL treatment...

 

WantsBaby2 - October 19

Fortyfour,
So sorry about your day. Sometimes it just never seems to end. Our hearts are so heavy everyday and it doesn't take much to put us over the edge.

I hope you have a better day today. Good luck with your test on Monday.

Wantsbaby2

 

Karen123 - October 19

44, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. As always, I wish there was something I could say to help. You certainly are entitled to let some emotion out whenever it hits you. I wish you the very best on MOnday and hope that soon, your dreams will come true. Karen

 

Fortyfour - October 20

Thanks ladies. Today was better and no traumas. YEAH!!!!! After tomorrow I am taking a few days off.

Baby dust to all.

 

Latina - October 20

44, Im sorry hear to you had a shitty day, but know things are gonna get better for you. I wish you the best when you go for your appt take an ibuprofen it will help with the cramping.(take it from someone who has done it 4 times)Good luck and stay strong. ;)

 

TICKINGCLOCK - October 20

44
Just getting to read your post tonight. Sorry you were down in the dumps the other day! Sometimes you just cant control all the emotions...It's all so overwhemlming... I hope you week has gotten better and try to do something nice for yourself this weekend (a little treat) go for a pedicure or something, it always makes me feel better. :)

Gina

 

Fortyfour - October 21

Thanks tickingclock - I do have a manicure and pedicure on the calender. Yes, those emotions can just take over sometimes.

 

silli_kitti - October 21

We just can't escape it. There are reminders everywhere. If anything, IF has made us stronger. Blow after blow, we keep moving forward. We have to survive. Because one day, it will all be worth it.

Good luck on Monday!

 

Fortyfour - October 21

Thanks silli-kitti- one day my heart will be made of steel. I am feeling better about the hysto also.

 

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