Forty-four or others in a similar situation, are you out there?
46 Replies
teri-chan - February 5

There's a woman who posts here from time to time as "laura" who has undergone a donor cycle at NCCRM. From what I remember, their prices were very reasonable as these things go--on the order of $10K for a single recipient cycle. The clinic I used charged $20K for a single recipient cycle and $12K for a double recipient cycle. Donors at my clinic receive $3K of the fee. Everything else is for meds, lab, and professional services.

At this point in technological development, there's really no such thing as EGGS that people get from a donor that the recipeint does not use. That's because insemination is attempted on all the eggs that are retrieved. Sometimes there are "leftover" EMBRYOS that people donate free of charge to others, but that doesn't really help in your situation, since you want your husband to be involved genetically.

I don't know anything about clinics in other countries, except that I've heard that the costs are significantly lower in some cases.

I'm sorry for your despair. This is a good forum for finding others who have first hand experience with it. I also found age-related infertility financially draining. I spent a total of about $35K to get to this point (which is between 16 and 17 weeks pregnant with a fetus that is the product of donor egg and donor sperm). That's about half our gross income for a year. My insurance covered nothing.

 

BekyVice - February 8

Laura, I am curious.... it's been several months.... how has your donor cycle gone? Well, I hope? (We're going to go this option if my bw next Wed. shows low HcG levels, which I know will mean misscarriage again.)
Love to hear your success story with DE!

 

Fortyfourfive - February 14

HI ZoeCalifornia - I am in California also - North of LA about 40 miles. My last pg started with a 9.9 HCG and I am now 6 months pg. As long as it doubles you just never know. I will be praying for you today. Darcie

 

BekyVice - February 14

Oh my gosh!! That's terrific that that happened! 9.9 I would have said, "Pfft. No way." I mean, mine was 41 and the nurses already did the "touch on the arm" thing where they were already sorry. Hm. Well, I'm 43, I don't know how old you are, but we really, REALLY are playing the lottery with my eggs. Oh, well. Blood work done, now just sitting and waiting for that 3:00 pm call. My heart is set on donor eggs, and I have found at least 3-4 donors whom I'd just love to get, so I'm (telling myself) I'm fine with whatever the results are. :-\

 

BekyVice - February 22

Hey, 445. Well, I had gotten my first HcG of 129, which doctors said was great, and one week later (which was yesterday) turns out it never grew. So, chemical pregnancy again and now, onto donor eggs! I posted the below under another topic, but I would love to hear from anyone following this thread, as well, so I'll paste here. THanks for all your well-wishes!
__________
Good news is, I'm on to donor eggs and THROUGH with worrying about every little freakin' step of the way with my own eggs! Man, that's annoying! If we make it through one hurdle, there are 20 more down the road. It's the same result if you can't make it through the first hurdle as it is if you can't make hurdle 34, so it just feels like a big waste of time, worry, patience, and money. Ugh. HUGE relief. It's a strange feeling! I want to be like the two mothers across the street from me: they both decided to have a second child each roughly around the same time last spring (we were all at a barbeque) and then in about 2 weeks, each of them had taken a home preg. test and each were positive. They both said, "It took only one try, go figure," like it was no big deal. They are both in mid-30s. If they only knew HOW BIG A DEAL that is!! And... to announce you're pregnant at the first sight of a pink line!!! CAn you imagine the comfort? The confidence? We weren't even going to announce anything until we were like 6 months pregnant due to the possibility of Down's Syndrome! Ugh!

Okay, I'm off my rant and feeling so energetic now, and love looking over donors.

So, I'm ready to "take on" any and all advice about the donor egg process. Any tidbits you've learned that you wish you knew when you started? I'm a research freak and am on the Internet like 24-7, so I'm already doing and have done lots of homework.

Only down side is DH is sad that the baby won't be a "Zoe Baby" he says. He really wanted my genes. He said if there was any way for us to use my eggs and donated sperm, he'd totally go for that route instead. Awww!

Smiles and hugs to all who went through no luck with their own eggs! I'm ready to move onward and upward to better things!

 

Fortyfourfive - March 31

Zoe - I am 46 as of this week. I had to use donor eggs at the age of due to no eggs produced by my ovaries. It is a relief to use donor and not have to worry about how are eggs are doing, will there be enough, will they be viable etc. Its sad the babies wont have our genes but when you carry them for 9 months they are definitly yours. Baby dust to you

Sorry about the chemical pg= I had 2 of them.

 

laura - April 30

Hi Everyone,

445 are you close to delivery?
Teresa are you 30 weeks yet?
I am so exited for you both!!
Zoe I hope things go well for your donar cycle!

Well my donar FET was BFN. I have lost fath in my doctors at NCCRM. I feel like they don't like me asking questions; they would like me to do as I am told, pay the $$. I am toying with the idea of saving up and trying one more time at a center that I trust. Any thoughts ?
Laura

 

wantsbabytoo - May 1

Hi Laura,
I am soooo sorry about the BFN. So sad. After all us infertiles have been through.... it's so not fair.

What part of the country are you? We are traveling from Chicago to Denver to do our DE cycle. CCRM has the best rep in the country. 40% of their patients are from out of state. We went for our workup in January and are on the list for an anonymous donor. They have a really efficient program and it was a really good experience for us.

They have a wonderful program and my donor nurse that is assigned to me is AMAZING! I got connected with the center because I met 2 women that had done a couple of rounds of DE in the Chicago area without a pregnancy. They went to CCRM and both women had twins on the first try!

I have a lot of hope that this is going to work for me. My doctor in Chicago was not as good as I thought he was.... I put a lot of trust in him and found out I should not have trusted him so much. My new doctor is finding things that the other doc never thought to test for. The Chicago doc even removed part of one of my ovaries during my fibroid removal surgery and never told me. How do you like that? >:(

Well.... check it out for yourself... not to be pushy :)

www.colocrm.com

Laura


 

BekyVice - May 2

That sucks, Laura! As far as what to do? My hubby and I really "can't afford" to do this $30K donor cycle, but we asked ourselves, if we quit now, will we be happy with ourselves? If we smashed one of our cars, we'd have to fork out about that much... so we consider this an emergency and just "make it work." (Besides, doesn't money grow on trees?!) Anyway, the money part sucks, but we believe it's worth every penny.

I can't wait to hear from 445... probably she's too busy for a forum now! :)

As for me, I had to wait about 2 months for AF to come! Ack! I must have had an ectopic because they could never find the sac but yet HcG kept rising! It was almost the day to take methodrexate (nasty drug) to induce misscarriage and then *boom* AF came the next day. Whew! When you take Methodextrate, you have to wait 3 more months to wait till it gets out of your system. (They give it to cancer patients: it stops any cells that are doubling from doubling.) Ugh!! No more waiting!! So, now we've been matched with our donor and we're lining up our cycles and we should be ready to go in about a month (meaning, transfer). Looking for a donor is fun! Good luck to you all!!

 

wantsbabytoo - May 3

ZoeCalifornia,
You have been matched with your donor... that's great! Good luck with your cycle.

Laura

 

Fortyfourfive - May 5

Hi guys - no baby yet - I am 35 weeks now. If I dont go by the last week of May they will induce me. I feel huge and baby is definetily out of room.

 

teri-chan - May 9

Hi all! I was just checking in to see what progress you've all made.

It's so great to hear that Fortyfourfive is at 35 weeks now! Why will they induce you at 38 weeks, if you haven't already delivered by then?

I'm just past 29 weeks. I feel as big as a house (and am about 23 pounds heavier than I used to be), so it's hard to believe that I've still got at least a couple of months to go, if everything goes well.

It's good to hear that ZoeCalifornia has found a donor and is only a month away from transfer. I seem to remember that your clinic offers some kind of guarantee that this will work. Is that right?

wantsbabytoo, do let us know how things go at CCRM. They have terrific stats, though an awful lot of twins.

Laura, I think there's a lot of truth in what ZoeCalifornia says about the way you'd find the money if you needed a new car. Still, it's not a decision to be made lightly. I bet you feel even more thankful after all that you've been through that you have one little girl already. Do keep us posted about your thoughts.

Teri

 

barbee - May 9

Hi-I am new here. I am 42 3/4 and just had a donor cycle. My donor eggs were not that great-hard to believe. You put so much faith that this is going to work. They transferred an early blast and a 2BB (4 being the best) and none to freeze. I have a week until my preg test. I was was wondering what clinic Zoe goes to that gives some kind of guarentee-I am in San Diego. I don't know what I'll do if I have to go through-financially or emotionally. It helps to read this and know there are others out there that have similar situations. Good luck on all the deliveries coming up soon. How exciting. Good luck Zoe on your cycle!

 

BekyVice - May 12

Barbee -- that SUCKS about you donor! How old was she? How could they continue to go on with her if she wasn't stimulating well, etc? I go to the San Diego Fertility Clinic -- they have a success rate of 85%. They thoroughly screen their donors to the point of the ridiculous, which is wonderful. They have a success guarantee program (you must qualify by passing a bulleted list of about 15 items requirements, however). Anyway, I just heard yesterday that my donor passed all her physical exams (she ends up going through hours and hours of physical exams... about 6 visits in all!) and they are waiting for the results of her blood work, some results of which take 3 weeks. They screen for any known disease in the universe. They tell me that a donor can pass all their initial exams, psych tests, screenings, family history tests... and just one small negative and minor result can and has disqualified potential donors. They are very selective, thank goodness.

Well, I've read enough posts to hear that even a "medium" grade egg has made it to a perfect baby, so keep your faith up! If all goes south, however, there seems like the clinic should share some responsibility, or give you a future discount. I would fight it. Lord knows my husband would!

Anyway, I didn't want to make it sound like "money grows on trees," but I wanted to put the HUGE slash into our wallets in more of a positive light. I suppose we're looking at it like "it's all worth it." That being said, if this decision is going to put you in financial ruin, of course a lot of bad can come out of it. We're all assuming everyone has done a lot of weighing out expenses and risks before getting this far in such a life-changing decision. The best thing about money and people with steady incomes is that there are lots of places (even all the clinics so far that I've contacted) that will let you take out a loan so that the lump sum pain goes away and it's just a minor pain monthly.... albeit potentially for a very long time.

Teri-Chan... great to hear you're so big! You sound happy (tho uncomfortable). I know we're all looking forward to the day we can't see our feet and that none of our clothes fit! :)

 

barbee - May 12

Hi Zoe-thanks for replying! I can't believe it-I was just at the San Diego Fertility Clinic yesterday at the Acupunture Spa right around the corner in suite 160, seeing Jeanne-they are wonderful and I know it is extra money but it is totally worth it. I haven't had my pregnancy test yet-still holding out a little hope. The thing was, the donor supposedly was stimulating well-I was told she had a ton of follicles. I don't know what happened. She was a first time donor though, only 25. I am going to have a follow-up with them if this doesn't work out. And if not, I am going to check into your clinic-I actually got their brochure yesterday. Earlier on I had seen them on-line. My clinic is Reproductive partners in La Jolla and both Dr.s are well known-one even got written up in People mag. But I wish I had researched harder. I went there because a friend had successful IVF there. Best of luck on your cycle and keep me posted on how it goes. I am excited for you-we will manage it we decide to do it again, Barbee

 

laura - May 23

Hi Ladies!
Thanks Teri and Zoe for your support!

We have had a consult with North Hudson IVF (Dr. Smith's center). Call us nuts!(with airline fees I am guessing about $ 25,000) but I feel like we can trust them!!. The other centers near us are so big you cann't talk to them about their DE proticals. Dr. Miller and Dr. Smith I allready trusted (reading there posts for the last 2 1/2 years) and they talked to us! They talked about what they wanted to do and why. It was so refreshing! At my old center, NCCRM, I felt like I was irritating them everytime I asked a question. The search for a donar begins again! One last try!
Laura

 

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