Sharing the News of Your Miscarriage

A miscarriage is emotionally and physically difficult. Often you may be tempted to keep the loss to yourself or just share it with close family and friends. But there are times when you may have to or wish to share the news of your miscarriage with people you don't know as well. Here are some tips to help you through the process.

Use Mass Communication

Sometimes it's easier not to share bad news that's difficult for you to talk about in person. There is nothing wrong with using email to send the message about your miscarriage at one time. It'll be less stressful than telling each person individually.

Social media may also be a way of sharing the news if you've told people about your pregnancy this way too. One woman announced to all her friends in her personal blog and on Facebook that she was pregnant. She used the same medium to let everyone know at one time that her baby died and she had a miscarriage.

The Message

Simple is best when writing an email or telling your news in person. There's no need to provide specific details. Others don't need to know everything although you may be comfortable discussing the details with close friends and family. For other you can say something like, "We had a miscarriage," or "We lost the baby on Sunday night." If pressed for details you don't want to share, simply say "The doctor says that happens sometimes."

Mentally Prepare Yourself for Thoughtless Comments

You'll likely feel emotionally drained, but there will be those who make inappropriate comments about your pregnancy loss. Often these people aren't intentionally trying to be hurtful and are awkwardly saying the first things that come to mind. Be prepared to smile and nod and walk away. If you have the energy, you can thank the person for their concern and explain how hurtful their comments are and why. Sometimes it's better to stay away from as many people as possible for the first little while after your miscarriage when your feelings are especially raw.

Get Someone Else to Tell the News

Ask a close friend or a relative to tell others about the loss of your baby if you're not emotionally strong enough to do it. They can spread the word to whomever you wish to share the information with. This also reduces the chance of being exposed to inappropriate comments before you're emotionally ready for them.


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