My Loss

I waited for three years before we were finally on the ivf roller coster. I was due to have it just before christmas, but was told that the clinci shut down for 2 weeks and that i would have to wait for the new year. Finally come feb was ready, every injection, every blood test, every internal scan, i told myself it will be worth it, once i had the embie put in, the doc siad - this ladt will get pregnant because my womb lining was fantstic. Than the dredded two week wait - had some bleeding, was told embie was planting itself in the lining. on clud nine thinking finallyt my baby, test date - Big Fat negative. i feel like my baby died, cried every night, every day, drs referred me to counselling - refused to go, cant see how it would work. husband and i kept fighting, as he just coudnt understand why i couldnt pull myself together - here i am, 2 months after the failed IVF and still feel the loss as it was yesterday and still husband does not understand, so i keep my feelings of a failure to myself, se pregnant women and babies and turn away. i just hope one day it gets better. Husband doesnt talk about doing an IVF cycle again, he doesnt want to go through it again - like he did anything apart from produce the sperm. someone please help