Veterans Lounge Infertility ttc for more than one year
350 Replies
amyjoy - August 12

Lyly- Can you take half days at work when needed? You should be able to leave/come in late for medical reasons.


lyly14 - August 12

Amyjoy-I can take half days but not as many as I will need for another cycle of gonal-f with the IUI. At least not without explaining what is going on to my principal. I don't feel comfortable with her. She was a real bitch last time I was pregnant and had the m/c. When I first found I out I was pg she called me into her office and told me I looked exhausted and wanted to know if I have been out partying all night!!!! How inappropriate, I was so mad I didn't even tell her I was pg. I complained to my supervisor and when I had the miscarriage I was out of work for only a few days came back in and then ended up taking a week off because of complications after the my d & c. They missed part of the tissue and I ended up having a natural miscarriage (labor and delivery) and hemmorhaged. I refused to tell her what was going on and she was pissed off . She kept asking and I wouldn't say. She finally said "I keep asking you and you won't tell me" so I just replied and said "That's because I rather not discuss it with you". Needless to say, we don't have the best relationship. My supervisor finally filled her in on what was going on, but she is not supportive. The second problem with taking half days is I don't get a paid maternity leave. I have to use my sick days that I have saved up. With everything that happened with the last pg I used up so many days. I barely have enough left for a full 6 weeks of maternity. Not to mention being a high risk pregnancy I would definitely need days. Taking days now makes me nervous.


Jade - August 12

Wow Lyly~ You must be a teacher! I have the same problem. No paid maternity leave- only sick leave. It is going to be really hard for me to leave work also. I am hoping that my IUI will be before school starts back. I go back on the 20th but kids dont come back until the 27th. It is so hard to leave for just an hour or so.....ugg. I know your pain.

Amyjoy~ HOw ya feeling?

Ange, Heather~ Where are ya?


Ange - August 12

Hi all,

So I went to the beach the past two days and I am burnt. I so needed to have some fun this weekend and glad we did.

LYly & JAde~ That is very hard not to have maternity leave. 6 weeks is not enough isn't there anyone you can fight this with?

Lyly sorry to hear about the spotting but don't get your hopes down until you have your beta tomorrow. Spotting is normal. I am praying for you.

Jade~ We didn't bd this cycle on the day. We did the day before. I really didn't think of it. LOL! Oh well!

LMD~ let me know what your re says. I just O'd so I am still 2 weeks away.

luv to all


lyly14 - August 12

Jade- It is really is difficult. Are you a classroom teacher? I am actually a speech teacher, so I do have a little bit more flexibility in my scheduling than a classroom teacher. When I was doing the clomid cycles I was able to come in a few minutes late but it only happened a few times each month. I am suppossed to be at work at 8:55 but my classes don't start until 9:30. I have my prep first thing every morning. Which is great because technically I am not missing any kids when I go in for b/w and u/s monitoring. However, as I said in my previous post, my principal and I do not have the best relationship. The people I work with are also very gossipy. Taking half days and coming late everyday would not go over well. I am really a private person and find it hard to talk about my emotions, which is why this site is a godsend for me, so I really don't like to have my business aired out at work.

Ange- as far as the maternity leave we get 6 weeks for vaginal and 8 weeks for c-section, but none of it is paid unless you have accumulated sick days. Thats why not using my days just to get pg is so important. We can choose to stay out longer than the 6 to 8 weeks. 12 weeks half year or whole year, but none of it is paid. Plus after the 6 or 8 weeks you have to pay to keep your health benefits! Most of the school districts have the same thing because short term disability is not offered. Most jobs have short term disability so maternity falls under that and and thats why most people get paid maternity. We are bound by our contracts and the unions won't fight to change that.


lyly14 - August 13

Definite BFN- got AF full force today! Guess I will be taking this cycle off-no meds, but maybe I will still try naturally. That was the shortest cycle I have ever had in my life.


amyjoy - August 13

Lyly- Our school district is the same way. Can you have people donate days to you? That's what I'm going to do because I don't think I will have enough. I took days last year for Dr. appts., IUI's, and my dad had surgery and dh was sick.


lyly14 - August 14

Amyjoy- People can donate days, but only after they put out a district wide notice. They can't donate privately and can only donate one day. Once you donate to someone they don't allow you to ever donate to that person again. I would rather not have to go that route.


Jade - August 14

Ange~ Yeah I guess it is not important to bd on the o day anymore. You have something bigger and better to look forward to . I hope your af hurries up so you can get on with it.

Lyly~ Sorry about the bfn. It really sucks! I am a classroom teacher- 4th. I cant come and go as I please at all. I dont even have an assistant. I have to be there at 7:00 and can leave at 3:00 so I can do afternoon appt. Luckily my Re is in a private practice (only him) and is pretty flexible. I guess I will find out. I havent told anyone at work about my issues either and I really dont want to . My principal is a man so I dont think he would get it........ So I guess you are doing this cycle natural? Do you O on your own?

As for me, I start follistim (injectables) tomorrow. I will do a shot tomorrow and thursday and u/s Friday to see where I am. I am excited. He said I should have my IUI next week if all goes well. I sure hope so. I am back to school next week (workdays) so It will be pretty flexible.


lyly14 - August 14

Jade- My RE ONLY does scans in the morning. They start at 7:30 am m,tu, th and fri and 8:00 on wed and sat. So I have to go in then. I would probably make it to work on time if I can get the first appt or so, but my RE is notorious for being late. One day I had a 8:00 appt and he walked in at 8:20 so there was no way I was making it to work at 8:55. The RE is about 30-40 mins from my job. Anyway I have to do what I have to do for my own peace of mind and sanity. So I will just have to deal with my principal. I do ovulate on my own and I have a very regular cycle (at least I did until all these meds I have been on shifted everything). I never had trouble getting pg before my last miscarriage. Even after the m/c my cycles seem to be the same. They didn't even find anything wrong during work up (except my E2 levels are a little on the low side). I have some high risk factors for miscarriage too. So who knows maybe if I just stop stressing over it I would get pg.


Ange - August 14

Hello All,

Jade~ I am so excited for the IVF I wish my darn AF would get here I still will have 7 weeks after af arrives before the big day. I really hope the follitism works for you. DO you have to give youself a shot?

Lyly~ Sorry about AF. So your taking the cycle off and going natural. I think our bodies sometimes need a rest. who does maybe this will be your month :)

luv to all


lyly14 - August 14

Well girls not sure going natural will do any good. Dh had a sperm analysis (s/a) because RE said after a bad post coital test we should do IUI next time and wanted a s/a. I got the results today and I am more upset than even before. His s/a was bad in almost all areas. I just don't understand how we could have had two post coital tests (march and may) that were good not that long ago if he has sperm issues. They want him to see a urologist that specializes in male fertility issues. I don't know how that is going to happen since he doesn't have any insurance. I have great insurance but he isn't on my plan. I'm not even sure how dh feels since he didn't say a word when I told him. He is such a poor communicator. I'm not sure who is more upset, me or him. I just want to cry right now.


LMD - August 15

Hello all,
I went in yesterday and everything looked good so I have started the rest cycle. I am taking a TON of estrogen it seems (4x a day), plus progesterone later on in the month. It looks like egg retrieval will be the last week of September. I know a lot has to happen to get to that point though.

Lyly - I am so sorry to hear about dh's s/a. Is he going to have another one? That's what they recommended for my dh. His first s/a came back borderline so they wanted to do another one. His dr told us often the second one can be very different which is why he suggested it.


lyly14 - August 15

LMD- it was my RE that ordered the s/a. They didn't even recommend another analysis. They said we could try IUI but highly recommend he see a urologist that specializes in fertility. Maybe the urologist will suggest a second s/a. His s/a had low total volume of semen, low concentrated sperm count per ml of fluid, low total sperm count, and very poor morphology. He had 12.6 per mil and total sperm count was only 13.9 when it should of been 40!!!! That is not even close. I guess we will have to see what happens. I know morph can be bad due to heavy smoking (he smokes 2 packs a day).


bmm - August 15

Hi ladies,
If you don’t mind, I would love to join your forum.
A little history - We’ve been ttc 8 years. We did several IUIs, 6 IVFs, and 1 fresh donor cycle & 1 frozen donor cycle. I never had a positive pregnancy test. I am planning on another frozen DE cycle at the end of the month. I don’t have any physical issues; I seem to have a mild hormone issue that is wrecking havoc on my eggs. We don’t know why the donor cycles didn’t work. The doctors said maybe she had a bad cycle. I am trying to be optimistic for the upcoming cycle although sometimes it’s really tough. I’m thinking about postponing it until Sept because I’m so stressed and emotional right now. I don’t want to go into the cycle feeling defeated but I know dh really wants to try asap. I guess we’ll see when AF arrives.
You are all in my thoughts.
Much peace, joy & babydust, bmm


lyly14 - August 15

Hi bmm and welcome to the forum. Everyone here is a great support.

Anyone know anything about ICSI? The RE said we could try IUI but I have heard that it is only really effective with a normal or close to normal s/a. I don't want to waste anymore time and money on something that will only disappoint me and dh. I have read that ICSI is good for people with low sperm count and poor morphology and it is covered under my insurance. Anything you may know or have heard would be helpful. I would like to make an appt. for a consult with my RE to talk about.



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