Unexplained infertility anyone?
6 Replies
mmcgilli - January 2

Hi, so I am a little nervous writing this as this is absolutely the first time I have ever posted on any forum - have been reading them for months when I need a little support, but I have never had the guts to actually post anything. But, this looked like a great infertility group to join and I am really needing some support right now.
I am a senior medical student planning on training in pediatrics (so I get to take care of other people's babies :) My husband and I have been ttc for 2 years and I just discovered this morning that I failed my 3rd round of tamoxifen and IUI. I guess I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility as all of my labs were normal, but I do require some help to ovulate. I think where a lot of my frustration comes is that I have been ovulating perfectly for the last few months and my husband literally sets records at our RE with his sperm count for the IUI's, but still nothing! I feel like such a failure, the set up month after month is perfect and I still can't get pregnant. And the fact that there is seemingly no reason for it drives me insane! The doctor/scientist part of me knows all the biology and the chemistry and the statistics of success and failure, but there is this other part that is becoming more and more convinced that none of that matters because the bottom line is that I am losing hope that I will ever get pregnant.
Is there anyone else out there struggling with the fact that even though everything looks perfect, it just isn't happening?


JKansas - January 4

This is my first time to visit a forum about infertility. We've been trying for a year and a half. And every test comes back normal! It is very frustrating. (How can they help me fix things if they don't know what's wrong.) Especially because we have a daughter that is almost 3 years old. So obviously we can do this, we've done it before. But now, no luck. I feel more and more depressed. I can't say I'm ready to quit trying, but I also don't know how I'm going to survive the disappointments. On top of that only a couple of people know we're having trouble. So they'll ask when are we going to give our daughter a sibling and not realize how hurtful their comments are. I think it would be worse if they knew we were trying. Then they would be asking every month for details and I would have to SAY 'no we're not pregnant' over and over. I wish I had someone to talk to who understands what we're going through.


bdantonio - January 6

stay positive i was 20yrs old when i found out i would have to go through infertility treatments. I am unexplainedinfertility and unxeplained miscarriages.. it took me 6 yrs to have 2 sucessful pregnacies i had 5 losses inbetween so it will happen just stay positive


mmcgilli - January 8

I absolutely know what you are going through. I also have not yet figured out whether or not it is better for people to know that you are attempting to have a baby. On one hand, like you said, it is really hard when people make little off-handed remarks to us about not having kids, but it is probably worse when somebody who knows we are trying says something stupid. Like the other day my sister in law handed me a Cosmo article on "increasing your fertility", and then gave me a lecture on how she thinks I just need to relax and de-stress and I will get pregnant! I just wanted to say, "oh, yeah, relax - why didn't I think of that, I will have to mention that technique to my reproductive endocrinologist!" I almost have to laugh now when I think of how ridiculous her comment was, but I was very hurt and angry at the time.
The fact of the matter is that people who have never been through infertility have absolutely no concept of what it is like or what you are going through. Which is undoubtedly why we all flock to these forums.
As for the disappointment month after month and the frustration in not knowing what is going wrong, I am with you all the way. I feel like every negative test literally chips away a part of me. My reactions are also getting more and more severe every month - this month I stayed in bed all day and cried. My husband wouldn't even go to work that day it freaked him out so much. I don't even want to know what next month will bring. But like you, I am SO not ready to throw in the towel. I think, personally, the only thing that saves me is that I have to call my RE and refocus on all the scheduling of appts and getting prescriptions filled and working on another month. I guess it gives me back at least a little hope and gives me something to focus on and work toward.


Jkansas - January 13

I've heard that 'relax and forget about it' line, too. I just felt like how can I forget about it after a year and half of trying!! This last month hit me hard, too. It was our first IUI and I really thought that was going to work. Then I read that it only works the first time for 10 to 15% of women. so here we go again. I'll be going in for another IUI later this week. Right now my spirits are good. I'm afraid I'll let my hopes get too high, like last month, but how can I not hope. For two weeks every thing I eat or drink, I think, what if I'm pregnant...I should eat veggies. Of course, My husband can forget about it until a day or two before we can test.

It feels like such a secret sadness. I'm glad I found this site.


mmcgilli - January 18

Well good luck on your IUI. I was supposed to be having my fourth one this weekend as well, but I stalled out on the growth of my follicles so now I have to take 5 more days of tamoxifen and recheck an ultrasound next week. This will be our last month of oral meds before going to injectables next month, so I almost wish that we could just skip this month and move on.
I know what you are saying about wondering if you should let yourself hope that you are pregnant during the "2 week wait." Personally I have found that the disappointment is heartbreaking, whether or not you have allowed yourself to be excited and hopeful. I guess I figure, why should I deny myself feeling excited during that time - it is the only time during the month when I am not feeling completely frustrated and depressed. So why not dream and feel good while I can?
So good luck with everything and think happy baby thoughts!


reem - March 11

This is also my first time to post on any forum, i have been married for a year and half now, and I know it might sounds a bit to early to talk about infertility, the problem is in our community once you get married, the next month you are expected to conceive, or else everyone, from parents to relatives, to not so far friends will begin to ask you why you have not made it yet. This is becoming to get on my nerves, my husband and i are going slowly but surely with our checkups and lab tests, but the people around us are putting so much pressurem, that I am becoming to have mood swings, and begin to act and respond nrevously.



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