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I just wanted to quick say, I am not wishing anyone problems w/ there children. I am not that mean spirited - I am just frustrated w/ all present situations - infertility, prematurity delays, etc. That what doesn't break us makes us stronger they say. Thanks for listening again :)

Don't feel bad meg, as much as we all love our children they can be big pains sometimes. Aslong as we are there for our children we are never failing them, and each child progresses at their own speed, it all comes out in the end. Friend of mine ( sisters ) have both had premies in the last year and there were alot of problems already, all you can do is keep up with everything you have been, don't blame yourself for anyof this, it's not your fault. Each premie comes with their own set of difficulties and it takes a strong mommy to go on this journey with them. But you have already proven your worth by having them in the first place. Stay strong. Lynne

Meg,
You poor thing. I will say lots of prayers for you and your children. Sometimes it does feel like God does give us more that we can handle. I think we are a lot alike in that I worry about everything ALL of the time too.

Could it be that they are just developing a little slower? You will have to forgive me since I am not a parent, but I have been told that children develop at different levels. My niece for example. At 17 months she was still not walking, and was favoring one side of her body. The doctor told my brother he needed to take her to a neurologist and have some testing done....so they did. Nothing was wrong with the little girl. She was just a slow developer. She is four now and is completely normal. I hope this story helps to make you feel better as the last thing I want to do is upset you some more.

I am sure you are a wonderful mommy. Don't be so hard on yourself. It is a difficult situation and I would feel the same way I am sure. I hope that eveything turns out to be ok. Know that you are in my thoughts. Keep us posted.

Wantsbaby2

Meg,

I'm sorry things are so tough on you right now. I hope things get better for you soon. Since I don't have children, I'm no expert, but I've heard that premies always develop slower than others. My niece is 2 years old (today actually). She was only 2-weeks premature. But, one doctor told my sister that she should have sent her to a specialist to find out if she had a problem. She is very small for her age, and not as progressed as the other children. However, she has no health problems. She is just developing at her own pace. I'm sure everything will be fine. They seem to catch up to their age group as they get a little older. Hope our stories help, and I hope you are feeling better soon. Also, it wouldn't help to get a 2nd or 3rd opinion, as it seems doctors opinions seem to vary.

Girls,

Thanks for your kind responses :) I hope that when, and that is definitely a when, you are all mommies, you will be blessed w/ healthy babies. As w/ infertility, having a delayed child or a child w/ issues, is truely not something I would wish on anyone. Little by little, just like the infertility, I am adjusting to this new thing in our lives. Something else I have to put into God's hands and do the best I can w/ what the resources I have. Last night I was speaking w/ a woman who used donor embryos after trying to get p/g for many years. She got p/g w/ twin girls. She had a traumatic birth, and both of her girls have had all kinds of delays, and recently one was diagnosed w/ a connective tissue disorder. Her girls are now 5 1/2. She is such a strong woman. After speaking w/ her I felt a little better about our situation, b/c her girls are doing okay after years of intensive therapy. I also know that if I ever needed to I could call her for advice or help w/ our situation. Sad thing though, the disorder that the one daughter has, and possibly the other daughter may have as well, may prevent both from every having their own children :( This woman also went on to have a son naturally 17 months after her daughters were born, after the Dr.s told her she had a better chance of hitting the powerball than ever getting p/g. She said she didn't get p/g either b/c she was stress free, at the time she conceived, she had been going through all of the things w/ her daughters. So as I have always thought to all those people who say you can't get p/g when you are stressed, it is possible :)

We are still going to do a FET, despite all of these new developments. I think I must be a raving lunatic ::), but when is there ever a time in life, when things aren't going crazy or are stress free??? Besides I think my brain can handle simultaneous worry about getting p/g, miscarrying, and the twins health; I just won't have time to do or think about anything else like grocery shopping ;D

Take Care ladies and I wish you all nothing but the best; you truly are the best ;) Still praying for all of you... and heaping LOADS of babydust your way :)

Meg

Meg,
I am glad you have someone else to talk to who is going through similar circumstances. You are always welcome to vent to us anytime. We might not have any experience or words of wisdom to give you, but we are good listeners and we will always pray for you.

You are an amazing woman. I wish you all the baby dust in the world with your FET. I really hope it happens for you. You deserve to experience motherhood again. You are right. I don't think our lives are ever very stress free. I am sending hugs your way.

Wantsbaby2

Meg,
(because I am bit of a freak, and my beta numbers are a bit high.....I have already been reading up on raising multiples) One book I read, stated that twins are often developmentally slower, but catch up with "singleton" children typically by the age of 3.

I am sure you already know this, but I thought I might share this information. You are an amazing mother!

You and in my prayers. Hug those sweet babies for us, and buckets of BABY DUST to you.

Meg, I was thinking that very thought the other day. What if we go throught this and get a severly disabled kid. I had to shut that process down quick. I have a disabled daughter - fetal alcohol effect from her birth mom. She has been behing her whole life but is finally making some strides in school at 16 years old. It is hard but duable. I hope the best for your little ones. They are young and hopefully can make up some time. Take care.

ElizabethS,

I know that children are supposed to catch up at age
2-3, but our concern was that our son was progressing normally w/in the adjusted age range, and then w/ the last eval. he dropped by 8 months, which than made me really get nervous that there was something else going on besides prematurity. Since they were preemies, they are followed by a developmental specialist, who is not a M.D. She told us that the gap should be beginning to close not widen. We are also concerned b/c at age 2 they stop being followed. Believe me, when I was first p/g w/ triplets, I read everything possible and began freaking myself out, so I stopped that real quick !!!

Don't start worrying about everything until you have too. Just enjoy your p/g. I unfortunately spent most of mine worrying about absolutely everything. Be sure to let your Dr.s know if you suspect something isn't right, and be firm about being checked and seen as well. I let things go b/c I was clueless and not firm enough w/ the Dr.s. I regret this b/c it perhaps could have made a difference in my p/g. I hope you have a wonderful and uneventful p/g. Twins are wonderful and I wouldn't trade anything in the world for it, even our present bump in the road. Everything happens for a reason :) At least that what I tell myself !!! Take Care and Enjoy your little beans :)

Fortyfour,
You can't even let yourself go down that road is right !!! Life is what it is... They say that God only gives you what you can handle; perhaps He is trying to push me to my limit. I would have to say the one thing I don't think I could handle right now though is a miscarriage, so I am hoping that when we do get around to the FET, either it works well, or it doesn't work at all, none of the it can work for a couple of weeks and then m/c. That would just plain suck. I am coming out of my "why me phase" until the next crappy thing comes along :) I hope you are doing well; I think about you often and send good thoughts your way :)

WantsBaby2, Didn't mean to forget you either :) You as always are too kind !!!! I am sending HUGS right back at you !!! I can't wait until you can begin your protocol - I am thinking only baby thoughts for you :) :)
I am praying for you !!!!

Hi Meg

I think early intervention is the best thing for your peanuts at this point. My son (conceived through ICSI) was born full term and at 8 lbs. so it wasn't prematurity but what is similar is that he was developing fine until about a year, then slowed and even regressed. At 9 mos. he would say, "ooots" which meant ooops, and he said it when he dropped something so it was appropriate and I didn't worry about him talking. Well, come a year, then 14 months, he was no longer talking or trying and he wasn't walking. Everyone told me to relax and that he would be ok. He did end up walking at 14 1/2 mos. but the talking stopped. He was evaluated by EI at 22 mos and was found to be at an 11 month old level for speech. :(
With speech therapy and then preschool to keep him socialized, he quickly caught up and is now 7 yrs. old and back talks all the time! (what was I thinking??) ;) Kidding!
I guess I just wanted to let you know how well EI works and even though your son may have regressed he could quickly catch up like mine did.
Good luck!

Meridith

Hey Meg! I am so sorry about your report on Gavin. I work with a lot of premies and ex premies who do amazing things. I work as a Pedi ARNP. You'd be shocked at the amazing things kids will pick up in their time. I know the concerns about kids falling behind, but that's why you see DEI. They are there to help identify kids who may need more specialized therapy. I know so many kids that I saw in the NICU and then as outpatients who were amazing. A number of these kids were the ones the nurses would say - Oh, they're going to be sad cases, and God proves them wrong. (and they are very happy He does, it's one time you want to be wrong!). I'm sure he'll pick up in time. You are a wonderful mother, have NO DOUBTS about that!! I know it's stressful and my prayers are with you!!
On another note, I know of a number of women who go through infertility and IVF and may have a child with a serious medical condition. Those mom's love their children so much, and the children do better with parents like that. I know it's hard to go through all the infertility crap and have a medically needy child, but we all know there are no guarantees. I have a mom who has become friendly with me. I treat her daughter and we share a lot because we both did the infertility bit. she's got a number of serious medical problems, but this mom is so positive and such a wonder to talk to. I know she probably has some bad days, but I know she's mostly just happy to have a child to call her own. I hope this helps in some way. I can't relate personally, but I can understand your concern and frustration. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your little man!!
Much love to you and good luck in June/July. I'll be talking to you before then though!!
Love always, and loads of baby DIRT (I'm wishing you more than just dust ! :) )
Jen

Meridith and Jen,

Thanks for the advice. I am getting better w/ the situation. I am just anxious for the Early Intervention to begin, but you know what happens when you are at the mercy of the government. I know services have to happen in 2 wks. time, but we have a shortage of therapists, so who know when it is going to actually begin. It is nice to hear positive stories :)

I go back to the RE tomorrow for u/s and bloodwork to begin the process for the FET. I am so nervous to begin this whole thing again. Tomorrow's bloodwork is to test for infectious diseases and the u/s is for I have no clue !!! DH also has to get bloodwork for infectious diseases and hasn't made the appt. yet - so annoying... I am going to have to remind him again. I am supposed to get my period also w/in the week, so that means day 3 bloodwork as well. I hate getting stuck so many times :( There is just something about getting blood drawn I don't like. Anyway, I can't believe that I/we are doing this again. I am praying that it will result in a p/g; a p/g that will stick and go full term. Thinking and praying for all of you :)

Meg

Meg,
I have no advice to offer as I have no children, but I know that love conquers a lot of problems. He will catch up!!!!
hang in there!!!

TTCinSoCal,

Thanks ;) I agree and can guarantee there is no shortage of love in this house :) I am confident he will catch up.

I hope everything goes well for you on Friday w/ the biopsy. I will be thinking of you. Hopefully you will be able to begin trying again soon and have a successful p/g w/o m/c. You have been through a lot and deserve something good to happen :) I want to read about some +++ for you, 44, and Wantsbabytoo :) You girls are definitely due !!!!

I had the bloodwork today and u/s. I am assuming that everything is looking well inside. The dr. didn't say anything either way. I figure if things weren't looking good he would have mentioned it. I am nevous to begin this whole process again. I don't have good feelings. I already have myself set up for it to fail, either by not implanting or ending in m/c. After 3 losses I figure I stand a better chance of having another m/c. How do you overcome the fear of it? If only getting p/g were easy...

Take Care All and thinking and praying for you - You are all my sanity and salvation.

Maybe we will be cycling together. I should know in 3 weeks when we can start the process. I say, lets get it over with. Take care all.