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lyly14,
Sorry I am not trying to get pregnant at this point but I want to say that don't give up girl you still have time to get pregnant and have a success pregnancy. Hang in there and your turn will come soon. Don't lose the faith and always be positive.
I wish you the best of Luck!

Lili

Hi, I can sympathize with you. I am currently experiencing secondary infertility issues and just found out yet another girlfriend of mine got a bfp. She too was undergoing treatments (IUI). My heart soars for her, but in the pit of my stomach there is such a pang for having the bfp. Faith looks up, remember?
I am on my 2nd round of clomid, they had to increase it from 50 to 100 since my dominant follicle wasn't big enough. If this doesn't work, it's crunch time for us and we'll be seeing the RE on 10/22. DH doesn't think he believes in IUI or IVF, so I'm hopeful we can get that bfp before it gets to that. He is actually more open with adopting, but I do not want someone else's baby. I'm just not there yet.

It did take us 10 months to conceive (naturally) our son, but that was in 2002! Now, thanks to my DH who put me off for this long, due to financial concerns, we are in the spot we're in. I'm not bitter :) Anyway, we have been trying since 7/07, then I had a uterine polyp removed 3/08. Still nothing and I just turned 35 last month, so I get to proudly wear the sashes with "Infertile/High Risk", even if we do get preggers!!

It helps for me to focus on others, so I spend time involved with prayer groups at church and volunteering. Anything to get my paranoid obsessed mind off of this stuff! Sorry for rambling. :) I suppose it's just easy to do when you are constantly hoping, wishing and wanting to have something you seem to have no control over.

much love and many, many blessings Lyly!!

Lyly-
I am so happy you started this thread-I have stopped posting b/c I feel like all of the other threads have turned from talking about ttc to dealing with pregnancy-and although I am truly happy for them-I find myself with nowhere to let out feelings and concerns.

As you know I think we have a similar situation going on-I also have been through 4 cycles of clomid and IUI and then went on to my first IVF in August. I am currently waiting for my 2nd AF to come after the failed IVF to start my medicated FET. When it was first suggested I had such high hopes, but as I wait...and wait for AF to come I feel myself with that doubting, this is not going to work feeling, again. Positive...I know...stay positive.

Nicole-
I can sympathize with you also- I have two colleagues who are pregnant together at the same time (2 weeks apart). I am very happy for them-but get tired of all the pg talk every day. I thought that being back at work would get my mind off of things after the summer but it is very tough to have the constant reminder that the treatments up till now haven't worked.

Thanks guys for letting me be a part of this struggle with you and for helping me get through mine.

Melissa

Nicole- I also have secondary infertility. I have a dd who will be ten in november from a previous relationship. Current dh and I have had 3 natural pg but I lost them all. Now for whatever reason we have not been able to get pg and is has been 2 1/2 yrs since my last m/c. Even with all this treatment I too will be am a high risk pregnancy (if I can get pg). I have risks for clotting and need to be on lovenox and lots of folic acid to decrease my risk. Anyway I am glad you posted. We all need others who know how we feel when we vent or are stressed!

Melissa- the other thread I had started has a great group of girls but I needed a new place to chat with others that are still ttc. I am glad you posted too. I have been wondering how things were going. When do you expect AF? I should be getting mine anyday now. I just started spotting today and usually spot for about 3 days before af arrives. So I should be starting my FEt real soon. That would be so great if we were going through it together. At this point I am trying not to be neg or postive. I am trying to be neutral. If it works YIPPY! If not keep on moving foward. There is no other way to get through this stupid roller coaster ride.

Lyly-
Looks like you will be starting earlier than I will. I expect AF any day now-but my cycles can go as long as 40 days. I feel crampy all the time and just can't wait for it to come to get started. So we will be close on this one-but it will be nice to have someone there at the same time.
Melissa

Hi girls :)
Lyly- I just got your e-mail and loged in again on this site.
Good job girl! 8) I feel exactly like you,that is why I stopped posting.I'm very glad for our girls that their journeys are over(or almost over),but the rest of us should stick together for a while .
I'm on my second b/c pill,starting a new IVF #3.We just paid $25 000 yesterday :o for the insurance program(3 fresh/3 frozen cycles) and we feel very poor. :-\
The other new development we are having,is a very hard choice to make between my husbands sperm and donor's. :'(I still did not make up my mind and it drives me crazy.
It looks like we all starting around the same time.
Nice to meet you all . :)
Good luck to us,girls!

I can't believe how close we all are to being on the same cycle- I'm on CD 4. It's amazing to me they (docs) can charge so much for all this treatment. You know, with all the money RE's make, maybe they could solve the current financial crisis :)

I have true faith that we will all have our heart's longing fulfilled!

Have a good weekend ladies.

Marina- We definitely needed a new thread! So how long before you start stims? Did they give you an estimated date for retrieval?

Melissa- My AF can be stubborn sometimes to get started. I am still only lightly spotting. I am really hoping AF comes on by Sun or Mon the latest. It has already been 32 days since my last AF. It did take 34 days to get AF after my first failed IVF so that would put me at Sunday but I have a feeling it will be more like Monday. That would be so great if you are right in there with me. I hope you get AF soon. So what is your protocol? This is mine:
day 2 blood & u/s start estrace 2mg 2x daily
day 10-13 increase estrace to 3x daily
day 13 return for blood & u/s
day 14 decrease estrace to 2x daily (unless otherwise instructed)
day 15 (if all is well) PIO 1/2 cc
Doxycylcine 100 mg 2x daily (until finished)
Medrol 4mg 4x daily (until finished)
baby asprin (until told to stop)
Lovenox 40mg injection daily
day 16 continue all meds increase PIO to 1cc
day 18 Transfer!

Nicole- My dh actually felt the same way when we first started with the clomid. He just wanted to adopt. I didnt even bother with IUI and pushed for IVF. Dh was open but not thrilled. Now that we have been through 2 fresh IVF's and on our 2nd frozen I have started to feel this may not work and brought up adoption. Guess what dh said? I want to keep trying because I want my own baby not someone elses!!!!!!!!!! He has totally gotten into the whole thing and doesn't want to give up our dream of having our own child together. I would have never thought he would feel that way. I hope you get your bfp before before it gets to that point but if not your dh might surprise you too.

Lyly,my estimated retrival on Oct.28,I start stims on the 18th.I'm so confused and don't know what the hell I'm going to do with the sperm :(.We are now opposite with you -my dh got to the point that he doesnt care anymore who's sperm,he just want it to work!He says that the baby doesn't care who's sperm was used to bring him/her to this world.Well.he is right,but I started this journey to have HIS baby.But all the negative things that happen to us for the past year just make me scared to death to lose again,even though me RE doesn't think so.I just don't have all this time to play wait&see games.He will do 50%-50%,if I insist,but again,we would have to transfer either donor's or DH's embryos,they will not let us to mix them.
To find the right donor,turned to be not as easy as I thought.And the 2 I found that would match perfectly,are sold out for now(of course!)And I want my baby to have my DH's green eyes and gorgeous blond wavy hair!Well,in reality ,I just want it to work.

Marina- Why will they not let you mix them? Is is because you will not know which one makes it? Either way if you do 50/50 and they all look good how would you choose which ones to put in or would you let the embryologist choose? So much to think about, I am so sorry. As if you don't have enough things to stress over. I guess you just need to make your decision and be happy with it. It is not an easy decision to make but either way I am here for you. I forgot to ask you, are any of your meds included in your total fee.

Lyly,I'm not sure why they woun't let us mix them-probably physchological issues.In my old clinic they make you go and see phychologist before you decide,I'm not sure about this one-at least they didn't tell me yet.I've spent the entire weekend reserching donors-again!We picked one that looks like Matthew McConaughey(who looks kind of like my DH,but younger) or at least this is what they claim-we could only see their baby pictures.Well,anyway,I did not buy anything yet,because, first- today I'm not sure again about the whole thing and second-I wasn't positive about blood type(I have A+ and he has O-.Can he be a match for me?They said to ask my doctor,but I think it doesn't matter as long as I'm +,we don't even know my dh blood type))
Another thing is I'm not sure what to do because of my RE telling us about this test and he seems to be positive about using dh sperm.But I'm just so tired of trying ,I just want my life back,I'm not sure I can go 3 more times if I have to.Part of me just want to end everything this time-no matter what the result will be.I hate to spend 22 grand(and no,meds and monitoring are not included,it's extra$4000 each time!)We'll might just change our contract to one time and just live with whatever happens(we still have untill the 16 of october)

Hi everyone!
Marina-that is a really hard decision to make. I can oly relate a story about my girlfriend who had a similar situation-they mixed the two. She got pregnant-and to this day they have no idea if it was DH sperm that made it or the donor. (We all think the baby looks just like the husband, so maybe at helps). I know that she agonized over the decision and has never regretted her choice (at least not out loud).

Lyly-my protocol is very similar to yours-without he increase in estrace. I stay on the 2mg twice a day until the end(but sonetimes after a checkup visit they tend to change things, so who knows). I still have no sign of AF. But again-I wouldn't be unhappy if it held off for just a little longer-the tennis season ends in about two weeks(unless we make playoffs, which it looks like we will). So if I start on estrace later-I should make it through that part of the year and then I don't care when the transfer is b/c it is only my schedule I have to worry about, not a whole tennis thing.

Melissa

Hi Girls- Well I got AF Sunday night and started my estrace on Monday night. It is nice and simple just pop a pill 2x a day. Unfortunately I am so stressed it is probably not the best time for the FET. My puppy almost died on sunday night. He choked on his own vomit and now has aspiration pneumonia. He was in the hospital for 2 1/2 days and things have been crazy. I have been so upset and even after all the money we spent on him he still may not be ok. ARGGGGGG!

Marina- How are you holding up? Any decision about the sperm?
Melissa- I hope AF holds off for just a bit for you. It is always nice when things fall into place.

Lyly- that is surprising! Maybe he will change his mind- either way, even at this point, just being on the clomid, I feel like a science project- I cannot fathom what you ladies are all going through and have had to go through.
I'll put each of you on my prayer list :-*

I'm so sorry to hear about your puppy, too. I have actually heard of that condition, but with a horse. Not fun.

I have my F/S Ultrasound Monday. I already feel like I'm growing mellons in my ovaries :(

Hi girls
Lyly- that's sound horrible about your puppy!how is he doing now?They become part of the family,don't they.I only know that our vet told us right away to keep food for Mila up high,so she doesn't have to band over b/c it's not good for them.I hope he is better,I haven't post for a while and I see you didn't either.

Melissa,Nicole,thanks guys for sharing stories with me.
You may all think I'm crazy,but I totaly changed my mind(again!) and after all my reserch and time spent to find the right donor(and I finaly did),we decided to use my dh sperm after all.I just couldn't let it go yet.We want to give it one last chance because then we'll know we did all we could to have our biological child.
I feel much better now since I've made this desigion.
I start Lupron on Monday and stims on 18th.

Where is everybody at in their cycles?