I feel hopeless!
5 Replies
bciervo - October 27

I've been on here once or twice but today I need to vent. We've been ttc for 3 years with one miscarriage 2 years ago at 5 weeks. That pregnancy took 14 months so altogether its been 3 years. Weve been doing IUI's nonmedicated - I had a laparoscopy in July - doc says everything is great. I've been thru it all- HSG's, Post coital, blood works, etc... all is well. The only thing found in January was high prolactin - I have been on parlodel since then- it was normal right away but we found out in June that it was too low. So we cut back on my dosage- It then went back up to 22. As of today, I'm at a 6, which is normal. WE met with our doc this morning, I was so ready to move to the next step- clomid. However, he seemed to change his mind about clomid and didn't see a need for it. I ovulate every month on my own, follicles are released at 20+ with HCG trigger 36 hrs before insem. We have done 6 all together- 2 after the laparoscopy. Today he said we should do 2 more- to see if it works. OR we could move to injectables- I forget the name of the injectable- that's not like me either- I usually pay attention to that stuff. I think I went into shock that we weren't doing clomid. He had said before that we would try that next even tho he didn't see the need. The injectable cycles will cost us $2000.00 each cycle. We aren't sure about it. I left there feeling so nervous, so drained. I dont know what to do next. DH thinks we should take this next cycle off, try on our own, get a mental rest from it all. I hate to waste time- we conceived on our own before- doc says to keep trying.... I need someone's opinion--- or experience. Brooke


Lila - October 28

Brook I am certainly no expert but it seems from what you say that your RE is giving you the right suggestions. If you are ovulating on your own, in the right time of your cycle I do not think that there is anything that clomide could help you to improve. I did 6 cycles with clomide (all negative so I should disclaim I am not a big fan of clomide and its side effects) and I know it does work for many girls but as I understand it most of those times is when the Dr is trying to work with a patient who does not have as great and predictable an ovulation situation as you described for yourself.

That said I am sure you are beyond frustrated that everything keeps looking like it is great and should work ( I am also "unexplained" so I can relate). Perhaps DH's suggestion to take a month off is a good one just to get a mental break from all the stress. I am not one of those that thinks you should "just relax and this will work" I just mean sometimes we can get a different point of view about what to try next if we take a month off from the rollarcoaster ride from hell!

Maybe after the break you can go back and do those 2 more attempts your RE wants to try - personally I think that this often boils down to dumb luck and perhaps you have just been on the wrong side of the odds on the past attempts but 1-2 more tries will get you over to the other, positive, side. I know I probably have not offered any great insight or help but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and to wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide.


Julie - Hoping - October 31

Hi ladies
I hope you don't mind my response I just wanted to share what I went through and our thought process. I too never felt so helpless, stressed and frustrated in my life and I truly think it's almost worse for those of us who don't know why we're in this situation in the first place.

We tried to conceive naturally for a year and a half and I was 25 and DH was 27 when we started. I had the collection of tests so did DH and they found nothing - actually they found everything looked great and DH had a high healthy sperm count and mobility. We tried 1 IUI naturally (I was ovulating on my own too) we tried 2 IUIs with clomid and 4 IUIs with injectables. The Dr said that IUIs with clomid or the injectables just give you a better chance because instead of just trying your luck with one mature egg each month you can try with 2 or 3 a month. When the IUIs didn't work I was absolutely devastated - how could it have come to this? We were young and healthy and nothing was wrong why couldn't it work?

We took two months off hoping that maybe the break would help and what we decided when it didn't work was to go for IVF. It was a hard decision to make - currently the hardest in my life - what if that didn't work? There were no steps left... it was really scary. IVF is not really that bad - the medical part is okay really it was just the stress and waiting that was hard. Those two-week waits are beyond awful.

It honestly will always disappoint me a little that it took all of these steps to get here but now that I'm 20 weeks pregnant and my little baby boy kicks inside me I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I truly hope that we might be able to conceive a sibling naturally and plan to let nature take it's course for a good long time but I do not regret a thing.

I guess from my side, maybe don't be scared to try a few cycles on clomid - or try a few on injectables whichever your RE thinks is best. If those don't work consider trying the steps after that it and write on this board a lot the women here are amazing and supportive.

Good luck!


Kelly28 - November 3

Hi ladies -

I am just wondering if you think its odd that the only thing I have been advised to try is clomid? Is that the normal first step? The more I read I am not sure if it is. I have an appt Monday with a RE.



liz - November 6

Hi Kelly,

Often doctors like to start out with the most gentle medications. Start at the bottom and work to the top that is my re's attitude. I think most doctors begin with Clomid in hopes that will solve the problem. My re will not do Clomid more than 3 months before moving on to some other treatment.

Good luck with your appointment!


niki6454 - November 11

I had a few questions for your...first off, how old are you? secondly, are you seeing a RE or an obgyn? If you are not happy with the way things are going w/ the doc, may i recommend a second opinion. I recently decided to change docs. I was just frustrated w/ some lack of communication that the RE office was giving me as well as concerned that he wanted to go straight to IVF w/o trying some other options. I live in WV and the state is small. I grew up in Cincinnati Oh and am more accustomed to larger hospitals etc. I am now seeing a doc. in Cleveland and am pleased w/ her. She has not yet ruled out IVF as our best option, but was very reassuring that time was not out for me and that she could learn somethings from failed cycles on clomid our injectables w/ iui.

I am 34, have 9.2 FSH, unexplained infertility. My husband and I will be self payers for IVF and the new doc wanted to try injectables and IUI before going to IVF. My insurance pays for that...so if nothing else, we will learn something about my response.

Moral of my story, if your not sure or happy w/ what your being told, see what some other doc has to say. If it all sounds the same, things may be as your being told, but if you don't check w/ others, you will never know. Best of LUCK! God Bless. Niki



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