How do you deal with a BFN?
8 Replies
cantwait4baby - November 26

This month was the first time my DH and I had an IUI and I was supposed to take a hpt this morning, but didn't need to take the test because I started my period on Friday.

I'm trying to deal with the roller coaster of emotions that I'm feeling and still trying to stay hopeful and positive for my DH and myself. I know that IUIs work, but I'm scared to death that it won't for me. Can anyone tell me if anything worked for them emotionally? I can barely stand this feeling and I want to get off this ride without falling off first...



liz - November 27

Cantwait4 baby,

First off let me offer my condolences in your negative result this month. I like many of the women here know all to well the emotions that you feel when you are faced with a negative result when what you want most in the world is to have a postive month.

Finding a way to deal with the roller coaster is extremely different for each women. For me I spent a lot of time chatting here with other women who were going through what I was. I was able to go let my emotions out instead of staying strong all the time for my dh. When I was sad a depressed it was so hard for me to keep it all inside from dh but yet I did not want him to have to hear about it all the time either. My dh is a wonderful man and would do anything for me but he just will never fully understand what it is that we go women go through each month! The other thing I did was keep busy, the busier the was the easier it was. I found myself not focusing on the negative every hour of every day. It is not easy and by no means would I ever say it is. I had many sleepless nights and many tear filled days but I learned early on that I must keep the faith! Without faith and hope that it will be ok you are fighting a losing battle. You need to stay strong while ttc for you health and the health of the posibility of a postive month. I always kept the faith and in the end I ended with a BFP that changed my life forever.

Hang in there and please feel free to post anytime. Anyone here is willing to listen and offer anything they can!

Take care of yourself and good luck for a postive month to come!



alison29 - November 27

Hi Cantwait4baby,
I am so sorry you got your period. I read a lot and stay busy but i find myself crying at the stupidest novels etc.. I just tell myself that I have no other choice but to keep trying. Not very great advice I know but the worst in my opinion is people that tell you to relax and not think about it and then it will happen yeah right like that is feasible. Better yet is "Alot of people adopt and then fall pregnant" well that is just great :) Adopt a kid just so you might get pregnant WHAT????


cantwait4baby - November 28

Liz and Alison29,

Thanks so much for your responses...To be honest, I haven't had time to really digest what happened last month. I'm already starting my Follistem shots tonight and will be getting ready for my second IUI on 12/4 and 12/5 (as long as everything goes ok). They increased my dose of Follistem so, it's possible I could produce multiple eggs this month! That gives me something to hope for:)

Thanks again for your responses...It helps so much when others understand what you're going through without telling me "relax, it'll happen" or "buy a bottle of wine" or "go on a vacation". We all know how well that advice works...

Thanks again,


liz - November 28


I am glad to hear you are optimastically looking forward to a brand new cycle. I found that I was where you are now too. You sure don't have much time to think about the BFN and you are off to try again.

When I read you post it reminded me of myself. I was on Repronex injections and received a BFN, the next cycle the doctor increased my dosage of the Repronex and sure enough it was what we needed and I received the blessing of our little peanut.

Best of luck to you
Take care,


Mahogany Heart - November 28


You know with my 14 years of ttc was very hard for me and when I would get a BFN I would cry. It was very painful and sometimes I would just say oh well but as I started to find out more about my ttc and started doing things towards my ttc so when I got a BFN I looked forward to my cycle coming on so I could try what I had learn on the next cycle. Everytime I got an BFN I turned the negative feelings into positive ones and when my cycle came on I was excited to have another chance to start all over again. Remember my cycles was so irregular. I also found support in the Sisterhood.

Supernatural Baby Dust


cantwait4baby - November 28


Thank you so much for sharing your success story! It gave me a BIG smile and brought hope to think of what could be this month:) By the way, what are Repronex injections? Is it the same thing as Follistem just a different brand?



liz - November 28


I am glad my story brought a smile to your face! :)

I am not sure of Follitism since I was only on Repronex. I do believe that they are very similiar. I had some issues with low estrodiol and my re perscribed Repronex since the Clomid did not work so well and gave me horrible side effects.

I would love to hear how you are making out. Please drop by anytime and let us know.

Best of luck for a BFP cycle!


vidia1103 - December 20

Please try to stay positive. I know that it is hard. Everytime I take a bfn. Its hard for me not to cry. Stressing yourself out will only make it harder for you to conceive. I know its easier said than done. Try talking to your dh. Maybe he can offer some comfort. And i'm sure all the girls here are here for you so just email any of us if you need some support. I know that I certainly do at time.



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