confused about doing ivf or adopting?
4 Replies
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hi my name is sherri(sloon) and my husband and i found out recently that im unable to concieve naturally we were given 75% chance of ivf working on the first try and 25% it would be twins but the cost here in fla is 10,000.00 wheter it works or not and most insurances don't cover it and im confused because i know that i want to have the chance to carry our child but ib the other hand if we could adopt for the price we would spend on ivf and have a baby why not do that i don't know im confused any advice or input would help thanks for listening ! sloon
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Sherri,
I have four daughters from a previous marriage, and my current husband and I have male factor infertility. Adoption is a wonderful thing and I would never say it is not worthwhile, but it sounds to me as if you really want to try having a biological child but it also sounds like you want a sure thing. Even with adoption it could take years if you do domestic and if you go international there is more expense involved. Search your soul and decide if trying IVF is right for you, you may not have a 100% guarantee but are there ever any guarantees in life? Talk to your husband and then do what feels right. Best of Luck!
Sylvia
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Sherri-
That's a tough choice to make, and i wish you the best of luck in coming to a decision that feels right. My dh have recently made a somewhat similar choice. We were blessed to have a daughter who is now 3, but are unable to conceive #2 due to tube factors as well. We were going to do IVF this summer (after 2 years of trying on our own, doing IUIs, etc) and recently decided that we are going to pursue adoption instead. I know it's a different situation because I have a bio. daughter already, but it was still tough to come to this conclusion. I have to tell you though, I have not felt this relieved and this happy in months! My dh and I feel like we are finally excited about something again. I truly wish you the best in whatever you decide. I think you'll know in your gut when you have made the right choice.
Kaz
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Sloon,
Well, now, like these wise women have said, that is a decision you'll have to make for yourself. But, know that either way - IVF or adoption, nothing is guaranteed and there will always be stastics to deal with and struggle with.
I have several friends who have adopted, and to tell you the truth, with our struggle with infertility I feel like we got off easy. None of the couples I know had an easy, or cheap, journey to their family. Two of the families I know spent over $25,000 and they were domestic adoptions! Both had several mothers back out at the last minute and one even had a "mother" pitting three families against each other for the baby she wasn't even pregnant with. The one family I know who went overseas spent over $30,000.
I am NOT trying to talk you out of adoption, I just want you to know that it's just not the easy alternative everyone makes it seem. My husband and I knew we could not do IVF or adoption because of the money issue, so it made me a little more stressed out with each IUI...how could money keep me from having a child?
Any way we get our babies is going to be a struggle for those of us who have to battle infertility. I pray the best for you and hope that you will soon be on your way to Mommy.
HeatherMac
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Hi, I adopted my daughter when going through infertility problems with first hubby. I love her dearly but adopting never took away my desire to try for my own pregnancy and baby. I would try all avenues first if you really desire your own . take care and good luck with your decision.
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