ivf and donor eggs
14 Replies
belle - August 6

[color=Purple][/color] Hi, everyone. I'm so glad there is a site like this to help answer all of our questions! I was told that I need to use donor eggs w/ ivf and I was wondering if anyone is going through the same thing? I'm sad that I can't use my own eggs but I guess this is the way it's supposed to be. I could really use some support right now. :-\


WantsBaby2 - August 7

Hi Belle,
Welcome to the site. I am sorry about the bad news. It must be heartbreaking. There is another girl on the site who is newly pregnant with a donor egg. I am sure she will respond to you soon.

I am going for FSH testing with my next cycle and I am really nervous about it. I have been a really poor responder to the meds in two IVF attempts. The cycles were both cancelled leaving hubby and me really depressed.

Try to hang in there. I know it is really tough. You have found a wonderful site with many strong and brave women who know exactly what you are going through. I know donor egg is something we might consider too if it comes to that. Take care and keep us posted on what you decide.



belle - August 7

Thank you so much for responding to me. I have been going out of my mind here and feeling so alone. I feel better knowing there are others that know exactly what I'm going through. I'm sorry to hear about you & your husband have been through, I wll keep you in my prayers. Have you ever done an fsh test? If so, what was your level? If not the doctor should've checked it before doing ivf to save a lot of heatache. Don't give up though, we're so lucky to have so many options in the medical world. If you ever want to talk or have any questions , please let me know. Thanks again for responding to me.


WantsBaby2 - August 7

You are most definitely not alone! I have not had my FSH levels checked yet. I did lots of IUIs last year and did not have trouble responding to low doses of the meds. My RE thinks it might just be that I have become insensitive to the drugs... which could happen after many rounds according to him. If everything checks out with FSH levels, then I am going to be on a protocol of 2 months of low dose estrogen therapy before I start stimming. He claims to have had a lot of sucess with this type of protocol.

He says that even with a slightly elevated FSH level, such as yours, it IS still possible to use your own eggs with this protocol. I am definitely NOT a doctor.... not even close, but maybe this is something you could suggest to your doc. Or..... maybe you could get a second opinion too..... just a thought. He says once you get into the 20's with your FSH level, then it's time to call it quits.

Just something to think about. The donor egg thing is really successful from everything I have read. You can even go through and find someone who looks like you. It is really exciting when you look at all the options that women just didn't have 30 yrs. ago.

I am so glad you have found this site. It has been a blessing and a comfort to be able to commiserate with other women who truly understand. Keep on venting.



Fortyfour - August 7

Belle - Hi and welcome to the site. I am 44 and newly pg with donor eggs. My journey started after I remarried at 39. We tried naturally to get pg and then I went in for a check up at 40. My FSH was 13.6. They told me I had less than a 1% chance of getting pg with those numbers. And then since the remaining eggs were so aged that upped my chance of downs or autism as if I were a 46 year old women not a 40 year old.

I was very, very sad about this. I tried to find a donor in the family without any luck. They were either too old, too young or not willing to help. A year later I was ready to go for a donor. ( hubby had been unemployed for 8 months after I found out about my FSH).

My first donor was an aquaintance who had done it before. She was 29 years old. She only gave me 8 eggs and only 3 were of good quality. I got pg with the first ivf and the hcgs did not double the first 3 times. The doc was not hopeful and I m/c at 10 weeks.
We were devastated.

The second ivf with these donor eggs did not work. The egg quality was fair to poor and I felt it was a wasted try.

I got a new donor for the third IVF. I searched hard this time to find out with my heritage and looks and after 2 months I found her through a donor agency referred to me by my doctor. She gave us 20 eggs, 17 fertilized, 6 were great quality. They transferred 3 and I am now pg. My 6 week check is on wednesday to see how many little ones are brewing.

It was a hard journey but I have one adopted daugther so I know that genetics have nothing to do with being a parent and loving a child. She looks nothing like me.

I will give this child life and that makes me as much as a mother as I can be.

A doc that tells you that you should try with your own eggs I would be suspicous of him/her. A fsh at our level is definetly perimenopausal. There are too many risk factors if you ask me.

Take care and vent anytime. I say thank God for donors and what they do for us.


belle - August 8

Fortyfour ~ Congradulations on your pregnancy!! It's sounds like you've been through what my husband & I are going through now. I guess I'm still in shock about not being able to use my own eggs, we just found out this past Tues. How did you overcome your grief of not being able to use your eggs and how long did it take? I felt so alone until I found this site. Thanks so much for sharing the pain and joys you've been through. It helps so much just knowing that someone understands! I love what you said about giving the child life and being a mother that you can be. That is inspirational to me. How many babies are you having? Is it three? God works in mysterious ways! I will keep you in my prayers, please let me know how your pg is going . Thanks again for writing and let's keep in touch! Take care.
Belle :)


Fortyfour - August 8

Belle - the day I found out about my high FSH my husband and I were on our way to Cosco. Everybaby in town must have been there that day. He did not know what to do with me. I just cried on his shoulder while we stood in line to check out. Everytime I looked up I saw another baby. We can laugh at it now but at the time it was not funny. The pain I felt was unbelievable. I might as well had my heart ripped out. It took me at least 6 months to even think of a donor agency. The only time I feel angry about it now is when I think of how my one sis who is the right age to donate would not consider it. I know that was her right but I hated that she had control over the fact that I would not have a genetic child because she said no. But if she didnt feel right about it I wouldnt want her to.

We find out wednesday how many babies are in there. I just pray for one good strong heartbeat.

I think time helped me overcome this. No special recipe for healing. I just talked about it with certain "safe" people and the pain eventually went away.

I wish you the best. I know that it is so very painful at this time but it will get better. Keep in touch Darcie


Fortyfour - August 8

Hi Belle - I just wanted to let you know that I had only 1 follicle in each ovary and the clomid only gave me cysts and no mature eggs. I wish you the best.


belle - August 8

:) I wish you the best of luck on wednesday! I will be praying for you,your husband and for a strong heartbeat from the little one(s).! Please, let me know what you find out. I'm so excited for you! Wow, that must have been awful being in cosco finding our such devastating news! I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know what you mean about looking up and seeing another baby. I think I'm going through that right now. My husband & I saw these two beautiful kids at the beach ( calling to their mommy & Daddy) and we couldn't stop watching them and wishing for a baby. We didn't say anything to each other but you could feel the sadness. I was very lucky to give birth to two beautiful kids when I was younger. They are my life. My husband has always treated them as if they were his very own and I feel lucky to have found such a good man! We just wanted to have a baby of our own bit I realize now that's not possible. It is heartbreaking. I do feel very lucky that we have so many options open to us. I think the donor egg would be the best becuse then I could be pregnant and have that connection of giving the baby life. I may not be the genetic mother but I will be the mother and that's all that matters. We're on a waiting list and have to wait atleast 10 months. That's crushing! We had hoped to be pregnant by the end of the year. God has other plans for us! I'm sorry to hear about your sis not helping out. Everyone views donating eggs differently, maybe she was not prepared to make such a life altering desicion. I hope that you'll get past the anger and be able to forgive someday.
Thanks so much for the advice about healing and for letting me vent like this!! Don't forget to let me know how the doctor's appt. turns out okay??? I'll cross my fingers and toes for you!! ;) You'll all be in my thoughts and prayers.


Misscleo - June 21

I am really sorry to hear your struggles. I also share your pain, but in a diffrent way. I am looking for someone to share my eggs with, to help pay for my own IVF. You all sound like wonderful people and I wish everyone the best

This is my story;

My husband and I were just told by a urologist that we are going to need IVF to have children. I am 22 and he is 24 so this was devastating to us. We had an idea that this was a possibility. My husband as atypical cystic fibrosis and 95% of men with that disease are sterile. I guess you just always hope you’re in that 5%, which is why we went to see the urologist. That’s when we got the news. He has Bi lateral absence of the vas deferens.

The worst part about it is that we are so young; we just got married and bought a house. Were already up to our eyeballs in debt. We just can't afford IVF; in our case it is even more because we need ICIS.

I have a daughter from a previous relationship (which I consider myself blessed to have), but my husband and I want to have a child together more than anything.

I am considering doing a donor cycle to get the money to travel to the Cooper center in NJ to do a shared cycle. I live in Michigan, they only give you 3,000 a cycle and that's not even 1/3 of the cost for my own IVF. I'm at a loss, $3,000 isn't even enough to cover our time off work and traveling expenses to go to NJ to get it done. The Doctor told us not to wait, the younger the better he said. I want to have a baby ASAP as well.

I don't want to cross any lines on this chat group, but I as I said above I am looking for support, but help as well. I am looking for someone to share a cycle at Cooper in exchange for help with the costs on our end. I talked to a rep. from Cooper and she told me that she thought with my profile I would be one of the first one's chosen off the donor list when it goes out to waiting recipients. That doesn't help me if I can not afford to get to NJ or take the time off work, you know? I have an appointment scheduled for Thursday of this week to talk to a fertility clinic about my options, but the consultation alone is $175. I don't know really what I want to do. I don't really like the idea of just basically selling my eggs to a stranger, you know. They get to pick me, but what do I know about them? I just think I would be more comfortable at least meeting or having dinner with the person/persons receiving a part of myself.

I think the shared cycles are great because everyone involved gets something good. I get help with my IVF costs, the recipient gets my eggs, and hopefully we both get babies!!! Nobody is in it for finical gain; it's only for the good of both parties.

A shared cycle to me seems safer to the recipient for several reasons!!!

-First being I have as much invested in the process as you so you know that the vitality of my eggs is top priority, I will take my meds as prescribed and abstain from things as needed to produce a good amount of eggs and good quality. (I have a two year old daughter so my fertility has been established)
-Second I have experienced that Dr. appt where they tell you, you can't have children naturally and I'm willing to share my eggs not only to help my family but also to help another family overcome infertility, and if requested to be an open donation we can provide support to each other through this difficult time, because we would be cycling together.

Well just in case anyone may be interested here is a little about me

I am 22 Years old
I have brown hair, very thick was straight to wavy/after baby went to spiral curls ??
-Brown eyes
-medium complexion
-dimples both sides (to some people it's a favorable trait) my daughter also has them.
I am 5'1
small/medium build
I have a mix of 25% Irish, 25% Hispanic, French and Hungarian
O+ blood type
I am currently a Nursing student and have always carried good grades and never had a hard time learning or catching on to things.
I am very active and healthy, my husband my daughter and I take a two mile bike ride almost every night.
I love to swim and my daughter does as well

I don’t want it to seem like I am on here trying to sell my eggs. I’m on here because I want to have more babies.


mcginger2 - August 2

I know the emotional stress you ladies are feeling. I am on the other side, I am a shared donor waiting for a match. No matter wich end of this situation you are on it is emotionally draining and heartwrenching at times. I enrolled last month in a shared donor program and am patiently waiting for a match. I have 2 children from a previous marriage but no children with my current husband of 8 years. I was pregnant this past January but lost the baby and my right tube to ectopic pregnany. I had an HSG and found that my left tube is blocked and unrepairable so IVF is my final option. The dr said I am a good candidate for the shared program so I hope I get chosen soon. I dont know how long it takes to get matched, Do any of you ladies know? I am fairly new to this so any info would be great! Best of luck to all you ladies !


jacki04 - August 3

Can anyone tell me what agencies they are going through for donor eggs? And can anyone share the costs in which they have incurred. I have heard so many different stories and dh and I are at the point of pursuing donor eggs/embryos because I have had 4 failed IUIs and 1 failed IVF. I am 40y/o and not sure if we can afford another failed IVF. Any information would be greatly appreicated.



mcginger2 - August 3

I am enrolled in the donor program at Cooper Center for IVF in NJ as a shared donor. When I get chosen I will pay for my testing, ultrasounds,male testing and freezing of left over embryos and semen. The recipient that choses me will pay for the meds, retrieval and transfer. They have a website that lists the costs of everything. I am fairly new to this and still learning also!


teri-chan - August 3

I think costs vary quite a bit. A woman who posts here, "Laura", is having a donor IVF done at her clinic (which supplies the donor) for about $12,000 (including meds) for a single recipient cycle. My clinic (which also supplies the donor) charges about $19,000 (including meds and donor fee) for a single recipient cycle and about $12,000 (including meds and donor fee) for a shared recipient cycle. The CCRM (the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine) (which also supplies the donor) charges about $32,000 (including donor fee but not meds) for a single recipient cycle. I noticed that the Fertility Institutes in Chicago web site at http://www.advancedfertility.com/ lists costs and various "money back guarantee" programs that they have.

I don't know a lot about the costs for agencies that find donors. What little research I did suggested that for me the costs would be prohibitive--on the order of $5,000 for the agency and about $10,000 for the donor. When clinics find the donors, they typically pay them somewhere around $3,000 (as my clinic does) to $5,000 (as the program I mentioned in Chicago does and as CCRM does). So, if I were to go through an agency my costs for a single recipient cycle would likely go up by a total of $12,000, since I'd pay the agency the $15,000, but I would pay my clinic $3000 less since they wouldn't be supplying the donor.


Misscleo - August 25

Where are you located. I am also looking for a shared cycle.



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