I feel like no one understands>>
17 Replies
Jen1983 - January 12

Hi, I am new to the infertility world. I have been trying to concieve for 2 years but I just had my first RE appointment today. My mom swears that it is just my nerves because everyone in the family could get pregnant if it was in the water. My fiance just wants me to be happy and his family doesn''t really have to much to say about it. I want this more than anything, and i feel like i'm not really a women. I just wanted to know if these feeling are normal I guess.



Fortyfour - January 12

Its normal to not feel like a complete women I think. we look around us and so many women do this without a second thought or trying. There is alot of things that make us a women though, not just having babies. It is out of our control. Take care


baby4us - January 12

Jen.. probably everyone on this board feels the way you do.. so you are not alone... it is tough but you have to make choices best for you... don't let family and friends get in the way.

I know it is nice to have the support of family and friends.. but sometimes it is also best to figure out on your own what is going on with your body.. we did most of our research, testing and treatments without many people knowing at all.. so we didn't have to explain ourselves... Good Luck


Jen1983 - January 12

Thank guys, it means alot. I wish i would have thought before i said anything to anyone i guess it would be easy if no one knew. By the way Congrats Babys4us.

Thanks again,


chynnadoll - January 12

Jen 1983, How did your appointment go? Don't feel bad we all understand how you feel, you are not alone, we are all here for you!


Jen1983 - January 13

My appointment went pretty good or at least I think like I said I'm new to this so. They did a physical exam and everything looked okay. They did a progesterone test and my results showed that I had ovulated :). I am now waiting on my period so I call to set up an appointment for the 3 day test. ???My mom keeps telling me that I'm not getting pregnant because it is not the right time in my life. I nw I am only 22 but I am so mature for my age. I always have been ya know. I scrapbook and sew for gods sake. I am bored with my life I feel like I have no purpose. I get up everyday and go to work and for what. To come home to an empty house with my fiance and pay bills. I want more than that. My mom had her first baby at 21 but she got married at 18. Well thanks to all sorry I am venting a little bit.

Thanks again for all the support,

P.S. Has anyone else been on Precare Concieve?


fiso - January 13

Hi Jen1983. It's easy to start talking to everyone about the fact that you are TTC, but at the same time, unles thay have been in your shoes, they won't really understand. Keep some details of your treatment for yourself and concentrate on taking good care of yourself and and staying positive. Come visit us on this site if you are having a bad day. As you saw, there is always a person or more to listen to you and make you feel better. Talk to you soon!


chynnadoll - January 14

Jen1983, It is not easy talking to women that have not walked in your shoes that's why tis site is great, I feel that everything happens for a reason, Sometimes we can't understand but they do, I had my first daughter at 16 and did'nt find out until I was just about 6 months or I would have gotten an abortion! I can't imagine life now without my 16 year old daughter, with my 9 year old daughter I did'nt find out I was pregnant until I was all most 6 months once again and I was on the pill and she was born at 6 1/2 months weighing only 1lb and 13ozs, I would have gotten an abortion had I found out earlier, and once again I can't imagine life with out her either, I was busy with my career and did'nt want children at the time, now we have been trying for a few years and it's hard, But I still believe everything happens for a reason, When it's the right time it will happen. Don't stress yourself out I did that a few months ago and did'nt get my cycle for 60+ days all due to stress, It will happen at the right time.We are always here for you...Take Care....China


Jen1983 - January 17

Hi guys it's me again. I just had my second RE appointment. Me and my fiance both went. He had a sperminanalysis (sorry if i didn't spell it right) and everything came back above normal for him. I had more tests done. They should know my results on Wednesday. I have to go in to review my results with my RE on the 22. We are then going to talk about treatment options. My mom actually wants to go but i'm kind of scared to let her. I think she just wants to go to find out exactly how far they want to go. Anyways me and my fiance got into it last night and i told him exactly how i felt about everything. I think he better understands how i feel even though it took screming to et it out in the open. I am surprised because usually we can sit down and talk about everything else and we both get up knowing that we have been heard. I just wanted to let you guys know how my second appt. went. By the way they had to stick me 6 times to get blood. Good thing I'm not scared of needles. I have taken your guys advice and am keeping most of this to myself now. It's quite pointless to talk to people who have no idea what I going through. But you guys do and that gives me hope and support. Thanks.

Talk to you guys later thanks again.


chynnadoll - January 19

Jen1983, I know it feels good to at least know that your fiance's test came back good :), One less thing to worry about, Can't wait for you to let us know what happens on the 22nd when you get those results, I will be praying for you, Don't feel bad my dh and I kind of got it to it today before he left for work, for something so stupied, He got upset because I don't wipe off the 42 inch plasma t.v he bought, BIG DEAL, you know how men are with new toys and we got into it behind that! So don't feel bad. And I thought I was the only person in the world that the nurses could'nt find the veins I have to leave my doctors office and go to the hospital to have my blood work done! Take Care and stay focused....China


Jen1983 - January 19

Thanks for all your support. Men can be pigs I wish all i had to worry about was my plasma tv don't you. I was reading other topics and read that you are in the two week wait right now. Am I right? If so when are you supposed to find out. I can't imagine how you feel. They changed my appt to the 31 and they won't give me any of the results over the phone like they have before. I am wondering if that means that my tests came back bad. Let me ask you something. How did you know when to start the IVF. Was it in your gut that you were doing the right thing. Iguess i never thought that i would have to go to a clinic to get pregnant. I thought I would find the man of my dreams and start a family the old fashioned way. We have been trying for 2 years and that seems like forever I don't want to wait any longer but I am scared if I force it to happen then it won't be a good outcome. I hope you understand what i am trying to say. I am not very good at putting my thoughts into words. Well Good luck



baby4us - January 20

Hey Jen.. wow great news that your Fiance has great sperm.. I guess his motility is up there too? That is half the battle...

I actually think it might be a good idea for your mom to go to an appointment with you. In her own way.. I guess that is her way of showing support. So... I would have her come.. it might be good for her to see what you are going through.. and at least you will have someone there with you. I had to go to the clinic many times on my own (But by then it was old hat).. but in the beginning I had either DH with me.. or once I brought my father and once my mother.. and it was great for them to see what was going on and what I had to go through. I think it was an eye opening experience for them. They were so great and supportive to me during my fertility treatments!

Def keep this to your self.. other than your close family (you will need someone to talk to about this).. but avoid telling many people.. as it is painful when people pry and want to know... Your mom's comments about you being too young.. and stressed and that is why you aren't pregnant yet -- she is just being a mom.. and doesn't understand that YOU feel this is the right time.. only you know what is best for you.. so just listen to your body.. educate yourself as much as you can on all the fertility treatments out there.. and use this fourm as much as possibl e-- it was a life saver for me!!!


Jen1983 - January 20

Congratulations Baby4us on your little bundle of joy. Thanks for all the support it means so much to me. It seems to me that you all seem like pros at this fertility thing. It makes me feel better to know that there are people who are going through this too and they have had positive outcomes.

Thanks Again,


chynnadoll - January 21

Jen1983, Sorry it took me a couple days to get back with you, my youngest daughter had to have surgery today, she had Endoscopic Sinus Surgery shes only 9 and they had to put her to sleep, I took about an hour and a half and she had to have a breathing tube so I have just been a mess today! Jen I have'nt had IVF, I usually don't have a problem getting pregnant my problem is holding it, Now it has been almost a year and I have'nt got pregnant, We found out my DH has a low sperm count, so that's something else to deal, I hate to say it but it seems like if it's not one thing it's another. Jen don't feel bad if you have to have IVF, I mean we wish we could just get pregnant and have a healthy beautiful, which we all will, some of us just need a little more help then others, and because they want you to come infor your results that's not a bad thing, I always have to go in for my results, good or bad! and yes I'm still in that 2ww, but sadly to say I think I feel my cycle coming, It's like another wasted month :(, I think after next month I'm going to take a little break, when it starts getting stressful sometimes we just have to take a break! Can't wait to find out what happens at your doc apt, keep us posted, we are here for you Take Care....China


Cupcake - February 27

Hi Jenn,

I am new to this site. I feel the same way. I have been trying to conceive for 1 year and 3 months and it feel like a lifetime. I am an only child. I have always wanted children and I am really having a hard time facing the facts that it is not happening. Women/ladies who have not gone throught this (infertility) really don't seem to understand. It is not easy hearing "just relax and it will happen". Well, it hasn't happened! I have gone to the fertility specialist and there seems to be no problem with me. My husband is now going to the fertility specialist / urologist. I wish you and your husband the best of luck and I will check on your progress.


Risa - April 30

HI Jenn,
I am new to this site and looking at all the forums and your thread caught my eye. I do not know where you are in your treatments now or if you are already pregnant, but I feel the same way as you described. I am trying to keep it quiet, only my father, my inlaws and my sister in law know (because my mom has passed away, I felt I had to tell another female in the family for support... didn't get any). I am a little older than you and am very frustrated with everything. It is my husband that has low sperm count, so it is the reverse of your situation. But if you decided to do the IVF, let me know because I will be going in soon for what they call the "trial implant".
Well I hope you are still on the site.



jacki04 - June 12

Hi Fiso
Glad to hear of your BFP! I have taken a break from the site after my 1st failed IVF. It's been a tough road for me a dh. My story is similar to yours, 40 y/o, dh 38, failed IUis and 1 failed IVF. It gave me hope to see that your second IVF was a success. Can you elaborate on your protocal and exactly what your fertility challenge was. Was it unexplained? Thanks!



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