8 Replies
Despair - September 9

I had been trying to get pg with my partner for ages. Due to mf we did IVF/ICSI. I had some bleeding and was in the hospital a few days ago. I have twins and I told my partner (I had waited) he went crazy. He said he was okay with one but not two. He said I'm on my own if I have two. I'm an emotional wreck. He didn't bother much with the whole process other than providing a sample, and now he wants to call the Doctor and freak out. He thinks I just ordered up two babies. I had two transfered, but I had no idea what I would get. I want to celebrate my pg, but I can't because now it appears I will be a single mother. Does anyone have some advise for me? I'm feeling so alone right now.


pj - September 9

i hope your s/o was just freaking out over the twin news. it usually takes time for people to adjust to the idea, and in my experience the partners worry about us more than the babies for quite a while. so if you were in the hospital over the pregnancy, he may be afraid for your health because of carrying twins. i'll be praying for you. sorry for the bad reaction that you got.


cassandra - September 9

Does the hospital you had the transfer done have counselor services? If your insurance covered the transfer it could also cover speaking with a counselor/pyschologist. Before my dh and I had our 1st. transfer a pyschologist spoke with both of us privately and it helped a lot. Go alone if he doesn't want to go. cassandra


Fortyfour - September 9

He might just need some time. Did he know the chances multiples going into this? Even one embryo could have made twins. I hope all is well.


silli_kitti - September 9

I agree - give him some time, and go for counselling, if he won't go then go alone.

The news may have been so shocking that he didn't know how to react. I'm sorry he wasn't more sensitive to you.

I say, let him call the doctor - he may be able to calm him down a bit, doctors are incredibly talented at that!

I'm sure he'll come around in time, once he sees those babies its likely he'll feel very differently.

I am a bit curious, though, that you didn't tell him right away about the twins - did you already know how he would react?


ErinG - February 6

Well, then if he left you, he wasn't good enough for you in the first place, hope things have changed.


fiso - February 6

His reaction doesn't come from love but from fear and low self-esteem. His ex played a trick on him, now he thinks that every woman is going to do that to him. He needs to realize that you are not his ex, and that you wanted these babies out of love. Also, he may be afraid that he won't be able to keep on buying toys ....for himself, such as the motorcycle.
I'm surprised that the doc didn't mention anything to both of you about multiple birth. Unless, he didn't go to the doc's appointments with you before the transfer....

If you can go to counseling, do it now.

Come back to this site, we are all here to help each other out, the best we can.

I also agree with Erin......

All the best to you. Fiso


WhoaGirl - March 16

What the hec!! He needs to grow the @#$@ up..you are not his ex!! And if having two instead of one is gonna put a cramp in his lifestyle, maybe he needs to re-think his priorities...Has he not ever heard of CHILD SUPPORT? That would really put a hamper on his scooter!!!!!


carvsh - June 17

I'm sorry :(
I'm thinking that he's just freaking out, and needs some time is all.
Men look at it differently than we women do. We think of twins as just that much more to love>
Men think of it as their responsibilty to provide for another one.
Hopefully his freakout is done soon, and he'll realize just how great this is! :O)



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