When to Share the News
5 Replies
Kris - May 10

I was just curious when everyone started telling people they were expecting. Our parents know but so far that is it we are running out of excuses for not be able to join friends (due to my major morning sickness and extreme fatigue). I have heard when you reach 13 weeks is usually safe but I am just so nervous.


love2Bparents - May 10

Well almost all my friends that knew of the infertility problems we were going through. Now know that we have a BFP! And all about our new journey. I have heard that lots of ladies don’t want to tell until their 1st trimester is over but this is my first bfp so I had to tell someone.


fiso - May 10

Hi Kris. From the beginning, I told my parents and brother because they live overseas and they have followed me all along with the different steps of the treatment, my mother in law knew and that was it!
It was hard but we waited till the end of the first trimester to really make it official (I had to tell my close girlfriends!). DH didn't say a word to anyone! I don't know how he did , but he was on the cautious side (I had a m/c before).
It' s really up to you, but keep in mind that once it's out, it's a lot of fun. Be prepared for all the qwuestions and the unsolliciitated advice!
Have fun.


baby4us - May 11

Hi Kris... I agree... we just told family... and a few very close friends (the very few who knew we did fertility treatments0.. but I waited until we were out of the first trimester.

It is difficult.. because as you said... you just want people to know.. but I am glad I waited.

I also just stayed out of the spotlight somewhat during thos efirst three months.. kept saying I was busy... and couldn't get together... so I am sure people were angry that we were ignoring them.. but once the cat was out of the bag... everyone understood completely.. so if I were you.. Id wait!!


HeatherMac - May 12

Hey Kris!!

Congrats on your BFP!!

We told everyone we could the second we found out. We had been trying for SO long and had gone through so much and never had any good news to share that we decided to tell everyone we could. The way I looked at it was this: if something did happen, I'd have a great support system.

There's never a perfect time, really. Not to be a downer, but, is there really any safe time during a pregnancy? My parents cried every day I was pregnant until I delivered...they had been through what DH and I went through, we had several m/c, and until we had reached the "finish line" none of us felt we could relax. DH was a wreck the ENTIRE 9 months. He never relaxed and was as happy as I thought he should be...when I asked him about it, he said he was just so worried something would happen. I rubbed my belly and prayed every day for the safety of that baby...from day one until I was finally able to hold him in my arms.

So, I would say tell your friends. They are your FRIENDS. They've seen you at your best, they've seen you at your worst, and if they are your TRUE friends they still love you having seen you at your worst!! ;) By not telling them and skipping out on things with them I kind of feel you're lying to them. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION. When we told our friends, they were SO understanding - of my nausea, of my want to just lie about on the couch rather than go out with them...it was great to have that support.

So, there you go - my two cents. Whatever you choose to do will be the PERFECT choice...whether you tell them now or not...whatever you do will be the right thing.



Kris - May 18

Thanks everyone for your experiences and advice I really needed it. We have decided to wait a little bit longer to spread the news. The only people that knew we were trying and had IVF were my parents. I haven't even told my best friend yet it is tough not to tell but it kind of nice that only a few of us know about the twins.



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