pregnancy partners
9 Replies
cassandra - April 22

Do any of you have a friend who is pregnant with you? I have two with little ones whom I plan to latch on to. Otherwise most of my friends and all of my relatives have grown children. I'm already hearing comments like: you think your'e sick now? Wait!
Your'e gonna be huge!
Your life is gonna change!duh!
I hated being pregnant!(my mother)
Better you than me!
Working with women my whole life I have learned that 1) They love to scare the heck out of you with their horror stories about delivery.
2)They try to top each other on who had it worst
3) They are miserable to work with.
I know how I DON'T want to be. I think I will probably isolate myself to protect my heart from insensitive comments. I'm gonna try to be as cheerful as possible. Thanks for letting me vent...cassandra


Lynne - April 22

Good morning cassandra, enjoy your pregnancy, it is one of those moments in our lives that no one else can take away from you. Also remember that no two pregnancies are the same, I loved being pregnant even though i was in a bad relationship and i had little support. Every one is different and all you can do when hearing these "horror stories" is smile and know that most often they are a bit exaggerated, enjoy being pregnant and don't stress out over it... the calmer and less stressed you are the easier the symptoms are to deal with. Right now I think I would kill to get the chance to go through morning sickness again, but I was never the smartest to begin with. Have fun with it and vent whenever you need to. baby dreams to you... Lynne


nclimousine - April 23

When I was pregnant with my son, I was scared to death, and my mother was so comforting. She simply said that if everyone only had 1 child, you might have something to worry about, but for being so terrible, its funny how lots of people do it again & again. (she had 5)

Enjoy every minute!! I kept a journal of all my feelings and thoughts, and now my son (He is 5) loves to hear the "stories about him".

It is so funny how us women all try to "top" each other. By the way, I did it again!! (my girl is 9 mo)


HeatherMac - April 24


Even with some of my friends with young children, I still hear VERY negative I have had to search out friends with children that are understanding and supportive.

I'm lucky - I have a friend who had her procedure the same day and time I did, found out she was pregnant the same day I did, and oddly have had our doctor appointments on the same days...usually at the same time! That is very nice to have one friend who is pregnant with me who understands why this is such a joyous time!! Granted, I don't see her much since she lives so far from me, but I am grateful to have her as my friend.

The one thing I have had to do in this journey is steer clear of people who are negative, or risk raising my blood pressure and combat the negative things people say. One friend, a DEAR friend, asked me if I was sure I wanted to tell people so early since I wasn't out of danger yet. I was STUNNED!!! So, rather than not saying anything, I told her that I was high risk and going to be in danger the whole nine months, and there was no time like the present to tell my FRIENDS. Ugh. I haven't gone out of my way to see her since she said that...but I find lots of people saying things, I'm sure are well meaning, but are extremely negative nonetheless. By the way, this "friend" is the same woman who had to call her Mother to come stay three days after the baby was born because she just could not get any sleep...she would complain to all of us that Baby didn't sleep at all during the night and she was tired! She thought people were exaggerating when they said their child didn't sleep at all last night. Hello??

I thought the insensitive comments people threw at us during our struggle with infertility would disappear with a BFP, but I was wrong. People I never expected to say horrible things have said them to I have chosen to celebrate wtih people who are supportive, and only ask questions of those I know will not judge or persecute me.

So, just as you had to be careful who you sought support from during your struggle with infertility, you have to be careful now...some people will surprise you with their sudden negative, steer clear until they can support you in the ways that you need them'll have enough anxiety without anyone else whipping you into a froth over what could happen.

What people don't say is the OB and I were talking about the amnio and he said one in 250 will m/c after an amnio. I groaned. He said, look at that THIS have a far better chance of being one of the 249 who will not be affected by it! I laughed because NO ONE had ever put it that way to me before...he said there was a 2% chance of problems with a c-section...which means there is a 98% chance things are going to go GREAT! So, when someone quotes to you all the percentages of very bad things that will happen...turn it around on them!! They'll be stunned!! No one is trained to look at the glass half full when it comes to medical stats.

You're doing great, I hope you have a GREAT day and know that you have the support of every woman on these boards!! We're rooting for you and we're thrilled for you!!

Talk to you soon!!



Jenny Lee - April 25

:D I know from my first preg. that there are always going to be those comments. I had a WONDERFUL pregnancy and know I was really blessed. I think after infertility, you're so happy to be preg. its different than those who have not suffered it. I know you can still have difficulties, but you know you've waited SO LONG. to be here! I told everyone as soon as I had a positive pregnancy test, with this pg. also. I figure, the more people I have praying for me and my child, the better. I thank God every day for my child and this miraculous pregnancy. I am now 16 weeks. I have an appt tomorrow and will post after that. Much love to everyone on this board.


Fortyfour - April 25

When I was pg I loved the horror stories I heard about the "older' pregancies. People love drama. I try not to add to it. I smile and sometimes say to them, that was awful, why do i need to hear that? I have a lady at curves who is 38 and starting her journey to a baby. Maybe we can be older moms together. Take care all.


cassandra - May 1

Ok, last year when dh were going through ivf, I would joke with his 3 sisters to get pregnant with me so I could have a buddy. Well, yesterday his youngest sister told me she is pregnant! She already has 2 and she's nervous because she wasn't trying and she had surgery on her mouth last I am worried right along with her. She has a doctors appt. on Wed. to see if everything is ok. She told me she has had a lot of cramping so we are worried. I can't believe it! She said she didn't want to say anything so as to not overshadow our news but I am completely thrilled! I was secretly hoping our children would have a cousin their age! I hope she is gonna be ok. I just had to share this news! cassandra


shaz - May 1

That is fantastic news Cassandra. It is so nice to share a pregnancy. I hope all is OK



ElizabethS - May 2

Cassandra - Keep us posted on your sister-in-law. That is so exciting.

My best friend announced to us last week that they are pregnant too! They already have one daughter, and didn't want anymore children. They got pregnant on the pill....she didn't know that antibiotics make the pill useless. They kept their pregnancy from us while we pursued ivf, due to the fact that they weren't even trying. I am so excited to have a close friend near by to share in this experience. She is now very happy about their second baby.


cassandra - May 3

That's great Elizabeth! Unfortunately my sister in law had a m/c yesterday. I guess my brother in law isn't too broken up about it because it wasn't planned. My sister in law is doing ok though and surviving.
I don't think any of my sisters inlaw will be pg anymore. I have 3 and between them there are 7 nieces and nephews.My sister wanted to have children with her second husband(she has 2 from the first)but they had a genologist test them first because his 2 children from his first marriage has spinobifida and downs syndrome respectively. They are great girls and I treat them like my own flesh and blood. Unfortunately, my sister has only a 50/50 chance to have healthy children with him.
On the bright side, I'll have many nieces old enough to babysit next year! Take care everyone....cassandra



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