Still very depressed
148 Replies
Aimee37 - July 17

Hi Liz :D

(((((((((((((((big huggies)))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry AF arrived today!!!! :( I know it is frustrating!!! Just remember preserverence pays off!!! ;)

Yea, I am nuts. lol I think I have always been a little crazy! ;D I like it hot but yesterday was definitely a bit too much for me, esp. with intense exercise. OK I will be careful from now on. ;) Yes, I am feeling better but I think I need to take it easier from now on. You see as soon as I feel better I take full advantage of it and do too much. Not good!

I have been here at my job since 7am, drove to work with the windows down. On my lunch hour I went home (windows rolled up with AC on) to walk the doggies and they ran back up the stairs and into my conod without hesitation. lol! trapper (the biggest fur ball) ran right under they AC and plopped down.

I hope your camping trip was fun!

Have a great rest of the day!!!
Talk to you laters. *hugs*
Aimee :)

 

Slatka - July 17

Hi Aimee -- you know you're crazy when you're running in this heat!!! Ha, ha. I walked out to do some food shopping this morning and was broiling. Of course, my legs feel like they're 100 pounds each and I'm generally lethargic during my period anyway; really great time to have it! I sure timed it well.

My husband is Croatian and he calls me Slatka sometimes -- it means Sweetie in Croatian. So you're close -- not quite Russian, but not far off! I have learned a little bit of Croatian over the past few years, enough to say a few words to his family when we visit them in Croatia (that's an awesome place; still recovering a bit from the 1990's wars, but the Dalmatian coast is so beautiful and like nothing we have here). I have this dream that somehow -- miraculously and without me actually studying it -- I will learn the language so we can both speak to our child. Well, I'm certainly getting some extra time to learn it...

I'm so glad your dad is supportive and, though he may have wanted you to have a more traditional journey to motherhood (I think most parents want that "ideal" dream for their children, even though it rarely happens), he is behind you. Your older sister might sense what you are doing...would you ever tell her? Or wait until the deed is done, so to speak? If she is involved with your mom, you may not want to begin a cascade of her telling your other sister, then her telling your mom and the repercussions from that.

When are you due for your next af? I hope it isn't a 40 day cycle. And I thought my 31 day cycle was long....actually, looking back over my cycles (I've been compiling info for my fertility center appointment next month -- it may be a busy upcoming month so I want everything in order now), I see several 33, 34 day cycles, mixed with 28 days. This isn't a big deal -- and wasn't at all when I wasn't ttc -- but it is when trying to pinpoint ovulation. I can see that possibly being a prob. for you, but I'm sure the docs have a way of dealing with it.

I just wish I could forget about ttc, just ignore it somehow. Of course, have the regular intercourse and all that, but not have it on the brain as much as I do. But I worry that something might be wrong on some level, so I don't want to be a fool and not pursue medical help. I spent so much of my sexual life trying to AVOID getting pregnant -- was that a mistake? But one can't go back...And if I had kids now with some of the jerks I've dated in the past -- oh, my god!

I'm going away for a few days this week, a short trip to Long Beach Island in NJ, then that wedding this weekend, so I'll be out of internet range from Wednesday morning until Friday night. I'll feel so out of it! Well, I'm sure we'll chat before I leave Wed.

And I am so a lint-roller addict! It's my way of avoiding actually vacuuming! I just roll that sucker over everything.

Take care and promise you won't go running without Propel or Gatorade at the ready --

Slatka

 

Lila - July 18

Hi. I was wondering if I might join your thread? I happened on it by chance ( I have not had a miscarriage - I am so sorry for all your losses I am sure that that was devastating but your strenghth is inspirational) - so while I do not share that most basic trait with all of you I really was drawn to so many of the other things you all discussed and could see myself in your stories.

First of all I am also from the DC area in fact I think I must live halfway between Aimee and Slatka since I am in McLean VA. It is amazing what a small world it really is that all of you would find yourselves less than a couple miles apart considering this is a world wide forum.

I also have dealt with depression and anxiety over the years - I won't repeat my story since it really was so similiar to all of yours. I also prefer to try to deal with it off meds. We live in an age when science is capable of such amzing advancements that it can create solutions to so many problems, but I sometimes feel scared by the amount of drugs we end up putting into our body. Therefore if there is any chance I can do without I try to. I have very bad seasonal allergies (year round though) and asthma so I have to take 2 inhalers and drugs for that everyday anyway and then on top we basically set up a mini pharmacy in our house to do the IVF that it seems like anywhere else where I can cut out I should.

I have been ttc for 1.5 years. Before that it took 4 years to convince DH that we should start trying. He has always wanted children but after we got married he said he wanted to enjoy himself for a little and travel etc. At first I thought OK I could let this phase play itself out and I thought at most it would be 1-2 years. We are both the youngest of 5 children and our fathers were in their late forties when we werer born so he kept justifing that there was plenty of time. It caused an enormous amout of friction and stress in our marriage because I kept saying that his logic was flawed and he was not taking my age issues seriously enough. He just really thought that as soon as he was ready we would be pregnant immediately. Unfortunately that was not the case. We tried naturally for a year and then clomid in increasing amounts and then clomid and IUIs - never one BFP very depresssing. After the last failed IUI my OB said it was time to switch to an RE and start down the IVF path. At the moment I am waiting for the cysts caused by the clomid to go away. My RE is hopeful that I can start te IVF cycle beginning in September so I think that puts me on a similiar track as you Aimee. Hopefully this wait will go by quickly - it is so hard once you make the mental committment to do IVF to then have to sit and wait 8 weeks. You want to start yesterday. I too am extremely impatient. I feel that I have been in this holding pattern waiting to start a family for over 5 years with so little within my control to speed this process along, very frustrating!

Anyway thank you very much for allowing me to vent - it is amazing how much it helps to feel that you are talking to people who understand what this process is like. Friends and family try to be supportive but I always feel like they think this is no big deal. So sorry I wrote a book (hope it is not too boring) and I really have to go to walk my dog - I have a Rhodesian Ridgeback - but if it is OK would love to talk more with all of you.

Thanks

 

Aimee37 - July 18

Hi Slatka- I really like your nickname from your hubby! :) How sweet!! Thanks for exlpaining that to me. :)

Yes, my dad would much rather me have children out of wedlock and goingb about things the conventional way. This is my last resort since I am 37 now and don't want to wait any longer for it may be too late. Unfortunately, I am going it solo.

No, I would never inform my mom/sisters of me TTC once I am pregnant (after the first trimester) I do not need the unwanted stress during this difficult time. I want to keep a low profile as much as possible.

Yea I hope my period does not come in 40 days, it could happen. Without being on the pill, AF arrives a week or more later. I hate that because it just delays my treatment and well you know I am impatient!!

I don't think it was a mistake that you were trying to avoid getting pregnant but smart! you were not ready and now you are. Don't beat yourself up too much. I think I am the wrost at this...my worst enemy of course! :-\

I hope you have a great trip to Long Beach and than at the wedding. Try to thoroughly enjoy yourself and let go of your worries (Isn't that easier said than done!)

You know I don't own a lint roller. Amazing eh?!!! I really need to get a few myself! One for home, my car and work! :)

Well, I hope you are staying cool!!! Yikes what a scorcher!!!

Talk to you soon!
Aimee :)

 

Aimee37 - July 18

Hi Lilah!! :D Thanks for joining in this thread!!! :)
Wow... you are just down the road from me! I am at work right now (near Tysons) off Leesburg Pike. I work 3 miles from my condo in Vienna. Yes...small world it is!!! I hope you are satying cool in this heat wave we are having!

I am so sorry you too suffer from depression/anxiety. :( It really is miserable and such a gawd awful feeling. *hugs* It's good to talk to others going thru the same h*ll. Meds just made things worst. I actually lost weight on the depression meds that I got way too thin and ended up in the hospital as I was force fed. I am much better off the meds.

I wish you the best on your first IVF and hope it's your last! I have had 3 IUI's and one IVF (early m/c). This will be my 5th time ever TTC. I have major mixed feelings now after my loss. I hope things work out for you and dh and that you will soon have a baby to hold in your arms. :)

The first IUI, my RE put me on too much Clomid (100mg's) and I developed 11 follicles! I responded too well to the Clomid. My RE wanted to cancel my cycle but I said NO. I ended up with 2 cysts (developed hypeprstimulation too) and had to bench a month on BCP's. The next two IUI's I was on 50mg Clomid. I am a good responder and am on a low dose of meds for my IVF.

So we will be doing IVF about the same time!?? You will probably have your ER before me because this month I am sure my period will be really late. I know it seems like a long wait but I am trying to look at the positive side of things right now. Your body is preparing and getting ready for the meds and I am sure the break is good for you right now. Patience is a virtue in this case. Hope it pays off for us both!! :)

I know this forum and talking to others in the same boat definitely helps me get thru this difficult time. i feel less alone in my journey to become a mom. It sure is nice to meet you Lilah!! Hope to chat with you some more! :D
-Aimee
[email protected]

 

Slatka - July 18

Hi Aimee --

Well, I'm gearing up to go away for a few days - anything to get out of this city!

Am waiting for a call-back from my OB. I'm concerned about my low progesterone and my spotting pre-period. I fear something is messed up with my cycles, with my hormones. Most of me just wants to forget about it all -- just let nature take its course, but....I'm too controlling anyway. In some ways, I'd love to get more guidance from my docs, and I don't. They seem so utterly convinced that I am just fine -- and this leads to me feeling that they feel I'm a little nuts. Perhaps I am, but if that nutiness gets me what I want, then fine.

Do you think you're going to head out with your family for vaction? There's value in just getting away, as long as your schedule with the docs doesn't interfere; yet I know the emotional toll it might take.

Isn't it awful how we are somehow made to feel old, even though we are not? I would not have thought of my thirties as old, yet this experience (and being called of "advanced maternal age" by my OB -- oh my god! What the hell is that? I'm sitting in front of you in cut-offs, sandals andhuge dangley earring -- there's nothing "advanced" about me!!!) has made me see my age in an unfortunate way, made me do calculations about the age of my child versus my age (you know, when she is 10, I'll be 44, when she is 20, I'll be 54, etc.) which are useless, really, and won't matter in the least when it actually happens. I guess it's just another stressor in an already tough situation.

Well, I may pop in tomorrow morning before I go, and I'll be back in a few days. Will miss you! Keep cool and pet your doggies for me!

Take care -- Slatka

 

Slatka - July 18

Welcome, Lila --

We're forming quite a little Metro-area contingent here! You all know what I mean when I say, for example, the Mixing Bowl, and you know who Marion Barry is!

I'm 33 and have been married for 2 years; we/I never gave a thought to the difficulties involved in getting pregnant. We just assumed that it would happen almost immediately -- like as soon as I stopped using protection, magically it would happen. This (apparently unfounded) confidence made us wait awhile; we wanted to spend some time along before we were bombarded with babies. But now I wish we had started earlier, though I know this is futile thinking.

I am not on Clomid or on any medications...yet. My OB is confident that, since I got pregnant once, in January (then miscarried in March), I can do it again. It took about a year to achieve that pregnancy, and now it's about 5 months since the m/c and we're still ttc. I have arranged an appointment with a fertility center (Shady Grove, in Rockville, MD) at the end of August because I need some answers that the regular OB doesn't seem willing to help me with.

I am glad to meet you -- we of similar backgrounds seem to find each other somehow, and I think that's to sympathize with each other and give each other strength, whether it be through the anxiety/depression, the ttc journey, the relationship issues, all of it.

I know the holding pattern feeling, feeling like the days, the months are ticking away and we don't get a second go-around here.I try to repeat, "What is, is" -- but for some reason I always end up fighting against passive aceptance, sometimes to my additional pain. Please feel free to keep visiting here and writing. You've found a great group of women who have a lot of smart things to say on a lot of topics.

Take care --
Slatka

 

Aimee37 - July 18

HI Slatka- I happened to be on-line when I got your reponse so I will shoot off a quick one.

I hope your blood work comes back fine and you have no worries. Just like you....I know there is something wrong with me but my RE deos not seem to think so. I fear I am not ovualting but she thinks I am. ???

So you have an appt. at Shady Grove in August? Great! Let me know how it goes. There are som wonderful RE's there. I wish my primary clinic was there. I hope they can help you out alot. I am sure they can!!!

My RE is telling me I am still young! Why do some RE's make you uot to feel anicient and some don't? Wassup with that? Heck, I still feel like I just got out of college and definitely have the mind set that I am still in my early 20's. :) I am a big kid.

You know I think the older you have a child the better mother you make. I am trying to look on the brighter side of things. I am in shape and have alot of energy to spend time with my child as well, will into my later years. :)

I hope you have a dafe to trip and that you have alot of fun at the beach and at the wedding. Let me know how it goes. :)



 

liz - July 19

Hello Lila -
I like you came across this thread, was reading for a few days and felt compeled to jump in. Reading the posts betwen Aimee and Slatka were wonderful. I would be reading and think oh wow that sounds like me. Both of them are amazing women.

I am truly sorry to hear about your depression/anxiety. We can all relate here to what you have gone through I am sure. The meds are a real pain, so like you and everyone else on this tread I stopped taking them a couple of years ago. I, like you also suffer from year round allergies. It is a real pain in the butt. Sometimes I feel like I am a walking insurance claim with all the medical problems. :) This is a long standing joke with my hubby and I. He calls me all kinds of cute names in fun in reference to all the meds for fertiltiy plus allergies. You name it I seem to have it on hand. My med. cabinet too looks like a small pharmacy. :)

Unfortunatly I think men have a difficult time understanding that pregnancy just dosen't happen when you snap your fingers. My dh is the same way. He has trouble understanding why it just dosen't happen. Sometimes I get so frustrated with him for not understanding, then I have to remember he is a man and they don't think like us. :) God love him, he is the most wonderful husband in the world, but when it comes to infertility he is not so clued in. When we go to the doc he looks so confused, when I tell him what is going on now he looks confused or disinterested, which I know he is not. Part of it is I believe that he dosen't like to hear about that stuff, he feels it is "more information" that he needs to know about the womens body. I have to laugh at this one! Oh, well enough on that subject.

So you are scheduled to begin IVF in Sept.? Thats great. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you that those nasty cysts go away real soon. I guess you and Aimee will be in the IVF around the same time. Thats awesome. I know I am looking forward to hearing all about your journies, I am sure you can give me quite an education.

Its great to hear from you, hope to hear from you again real soon.

Take care
Liz

 

liz - July 19

Hi Aimee -

Hows it going? I hope you are staying cool and behaving yourself with the exercise in the heat. :) How are your headaches anyway? Getting better I hope.

I am feeling alittle better emotionally. Af is a rough one this month, which I could have expected. With the 2 mature follicles and a really good lining it was bond to be a killer and it is. Day 3 and I am still going strong. Actually I am happy for that since last month on day 5 my lining was a 7 and it should not have been that thick, I am hoping it will be lower this month with the heavy af I am having.

Thurs. I have a baseline us to determine if I have any cysts. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that I don't. If I am all clear I will begin the Repronex again this month, this time I will be on 2 viles a day, up from 1 vile a day last month. The reasoning from the doc is to get that extra boost for my overies to work harder, producing more estordiol (which is my problem) and hopefully have a good month. Oh, well we shall see. I am not postive yet this month, my mind set is still a little down. I feel like it is always bad news when I visit the re these days. :(

Take care, Talk to you soon.
Liz

 

Aimee37 - July 19

Hi Liz! :D

Yes, I am indeed behaving myself in the heat NOW!!! Always learning the hard way. lol I have no choice I am stuck at work anyway. Keeps me out of trouble. ;)

I hope you have a lucky cycle this time around! I am pulling for you!! I am sure your lining and follicles will look wonderful!!!

I will keep my fingers crossed that you do not have any cysts!!!!! Sux having to sit a month out on BCP's!!! Keep me updated with your treatment. I am pulling for you and hope everything goes your way!

Well, I better scoot to work. I hope you have a great day! Gonna be a tad cooler today! Talk to you laters. :)

-Aimee

 

Slatka - July 19

Hi Aimee --

I'm on my way out the door this morning to head first to Long Beach Island in NJ, then to my mom's for that wedding I'm sooo looking forward to. But at least now I can have a drink or two! I feel a bit zombie-like with the heat and af -- it's tough to cut the pain with ibuprophen. I feel like I need to take 4 before they work.

I saw your message/question to Dr. Jacobs -- keep pursuing your concerns with your RE/doc. For me, pieces seem to be falling together; I may have a luteal phase defect that is pretty easily correctible, if I understand right. I think, though I am not positive, late ovulation may indicate less poor egg quality and more the fact that the egg, once fertilized, does not have sufficient time to implant and be "protected" by rising hormones -- in my case, it seems clear the progesterone is not high enough in this luteal phase and so the egg washes out with menstruation. I need to either prolong my luteal phase to 14 days (with hormone help) or stimulate my ovary a day or two earlier, so I ovulate on day 14.

I'm going to think this through over the next few days. My next task is to get my OB to believe me or just wait until my RE appointment all the way on August 25.

Take care and be careful running in this heat! I'll be back on toward the weekend!

Slatka

 

Aimee37 - July 19

Hey girl! ;D I hope you have a great time at the beach and at the wedding!!! Look forward to hearing how much fun you had, esp. at the wedding. ;D

Yea, I am worried about my late ovulation but I don't think I have to worry about that now since I am on BCP's and stims to help me ovualt on time.

I hope you do not have a short luteal phase but if you do I am sure it can be easily fixed. No worries... Ain't that easy to say!!! :-\

I am trying to keep it cool and stay out of the heat. :) Thanks for your encouragement! :)

I will chat with you later.
-Aimee :)

 

Lila - July 19

Good Evening all and thank you for all the wonderful welcomes.

I have to admit I am beginning to feel a little addicted to this site I find myself really looking forward to getting home in the evening and having a chance to see all the posts. It is amazing how much it helps to have a place to talk about “IT”. Like both Liz’s and Slatka’s DHs (and I am know Aimee you will soon also find your Mr Right) my DH is a wonderful husband and I would not trade him for all the tea in China but talking about all this infertility is not his strong suit. He does try but I think he gets his fill pretty quickly - about the same time I feel warmed up and ready to really dig in and dissect everything for hours. For me, it feels like this issue has taken over my life and thus I want to sit down and talk until I have a way to beat it. I know it does not really work that way but it is hard to suppress such an obsessive urge! Anyway my point is that it is nice to find an outlet where it feels so comfortable to talk.

Aimee: I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. It is a great thing that you have your dad to help you right now – do not be shy about leaning on him for support. Let him spoil you a little. It sounds like you have a great relationship wit him so take advantage of that. It is amazing to think about you going through all this on your own – that takes great courage, strength, and determination. I know when you have your child and one day when you tell them about this journey they will realize how much they were wanted, how much you love them and how lucky they are. BUT since you have a dad that wants to be there for you – let him. By the way I really am just down the road I live just off 123 near Chain Bridge! I was reading another thread where a group of women were all going through a cycle together and it turned out that almost all of them were teachers -it is interesting how on such a large site people can find and connect with others who share so much in common!

Liz: Good luck with your US I will definitely keep my fingers crossed that your cysts have gone away. Maybe we should research and see if there some ancient tribal “death to cysts” dance or chant we could perform before US. I had a very good laugh about the walking insurance claim - my DH and I have the exact same joke. I was always extremely healthy - never missed a day of school or work till I turned 30 and then it seemed I just plain started to fall apart – thought this would not happen for another 20 years!

Slatka: I know you have left for your long weekend and I hope it will not be as trying as you fear. At least as you said you can have a drink! It's funny I did not drink a lot before this all started but it is amazing how much you can miss a glass of wine when you know you can not have one. Actually for me the alcohol is not the really hard thing, for me it is the diet sodas. I have always done caffeine-free so that is not the issue but I’m sure the aspertame can not be good. I have been trying to cut back for 6 months but I keep backsliding. I have given myself an absolute deadline to quit by the end of July (yikes that is soon) I really want to give the IVF in Sept the best shot possible so I am trying to figure out ways to get my diet and body as clean as possible by then. Any thoughts or advice on how to do this would be much appreciated.

In fact with regard to fitness I have to tell you all that I have been inspired by you guys - especially the runners. I used to run and work out at the gym every day. I was very fit and it helped me deal with stress. Then my allergies started, along with the exercise induced asthma, and right after that a knee problem. My exercise went from running about 25 miles a week to walking about 6 a week. I was having so much trouble getting in a workout that felt useful that slowly over time I kept pulling more and more away from the gym. Then all the issues over family planning started (and back in 2004-2005 this became a huge strain on my marriage - we have worked through and past that but at the time it was incredibly draining and depressing. (I just could not understand why DH was not eager/ready to start a family) Unfortunately, unlike Aimee, I do not lose weight with stress but eat and thus gain. So that was what I did - I gave up exercise and started eating very bad comfort food. While this maybe OK as a sometime indulgence, suffice it to say that as a two year plan it was incredibly stupid. Since the start of 2006 I have been good about regaining control of most eating habits but had still been very lazy about the exercise. After reading about all you and your exercise habits I thought I really should make better use of this "waiting period” and try and to improve my health.

In fact this has sort of become my way of dealing with the whole “why me” question. Like you all I have really struggled with the vicious circle of “why is this happening to me – to what did I do to deserve this – to how self centered can I be to think I have it that bad when on the grand scale of problems this is no where near as bad as it can get”. I believe that everything happens for a reason and trials are really lessons that we need to learn from so I figure that since this experience really teaches you how to be extremely attuned to your body and shows what a carefully balanced thing the human body is that perhaps I should use this experience to focus on and learn about my body and finding ways to keep it in a better and healthier balance. I know I am the old one of this group but you young-ins seemed to have that much better figured out than me and by 38 it is kind of late to realize how little you pay attention to what your body tries to tell you and thus how to properly care for it. I think I have just spent most of my life hating my body that being oblivious to it was a way to not deal with it.

I just realized how much I digressed when I was trying to respond to Slatka so back on point I was going to say to you about your dilemma to stay with your OB vs switching to an RE. And again I apologize if it seems I talk too much about myself but since I can only share from my experience I wanted to say how much my comfort level increased once I made the change. I love my OB, it is just that with the RE I feel like everything is now much more focused. With the RE it seems as if the attitude is to try more things to get answers and their specific knowledge lets them change procedures much quicker if they are not seeing the change they expected. Whereas with OB they seem much more relaxed like lets try this and if after 3-6 month if it does not work we can try something different. I know what they are trying must work for most people but I am not sure if they really understand what the stress is like going through 2WWs that repeatedly end with the wrong result. I think most of us begin to get a little desperate for more decisive action and I did feel that more with the specialist than with the OB. What about you others also with an RE did that switch help you mentally? I do not mean to pressure you to switch just thought I would add my experience to your thought process. I was similar to you in that ovulation was coming too late in cycle – often day 17 or 18. And yes you do understand it correctly that an egg that ovulates too late is frequently more degraded and thus even if successfully fertilized it is less likely to be able to become a viable embryo. My OB was able to correct my cycle and get me ovulating regularly on day 14 but even with that fixed with and without IUI it did not work. And of course after 6 months of clomid I have cysts so if you stay with the OB make sure you take the recommended breaks. I am still not sure why my OB let me go 6 months straight (I think with my age she just wanted to keep doing something). The other thing she did not do that I see from other women’s posts is the baseline US. I wish I had jad those done since I really do not know how long I have had the cysts and we may have done the last IUI with them already formed. So if I were you I would also ask if OB can do baseline US even if she can fix luteal phase issue. By the way just since I am curious how everyone select which RE to go to?

OK I really apologize I have written a novella that is ridiculously long. Will try to be much more brief in future. DH and I are going to Charleston SC for long weekend tomorrow morning so I will check in when I get back but I hope everyone has a really nice weekend and thanks again for letting me join in.

 

liz - July 20

Morning Aimee -

Well I had my us yesterday. We had a communication problem, they told me Thurs. and then entered in Wed. So when they called yeserday I said I would like to come in now instead of Thurs if they could. (The suspense was killing me). Anyway I went over right away, which was good too because I didn't have time to worry about it. The official word is I do not have any cysts and I am good to begin my Repronex again today. I am doing 2 viles a day instead of the 1 I did last month. Sooooooooooooooo all that is left to do is cross my fingers and pray we have a good month.

Is it any cooler down there? It is better here, still extremely hot, but yesterday the humidity went down, unfortunatly today it is coming back. yuck. How are those doggies of yours? Staying cool I hope. :)

I must run, work is calling. :)

Talk to you soon -
Liz

 

liz - July 20

Morning Lila -

Well it is official you are going to fit right in here. You write short books, just like all of us. haha. Thats great. I find it so comforting to be able to write to all of you. I feel like every step of my journey I have a whole group of women like me supporting me. Yes, this site is quite addicting for me too.

I am sorry to hear you had some troubles with your marriage due to the baby factor. This is so common and yet it is horrible when you are going through it. I know my dh is like I mentioned before the best husband in the world, however he just said to me the other day "I don't know what we are going to do, (we are building a house in Aug) if you don't get pg something is going to have to give. For a year and a half we are going to have to be putting all of our money towards the house and will not be able to pursue fertility treatments in more depth." I was very very mad at him, but instead of getting in a fight I just got silent. I told him before I will do anything to be able to achieve a preg. and he will just have to accept it. I know that sounds harsh on my part, but it is how I feel. DH wants a baby as much as I do, but he (like most men) do not seem to understand that this is something that can take a great deal of time and money. After his comment I felt my heart sink. I thought "oh great now I have the pressure of getting preg 'now" to avoid future arguements. ughhhh it is so frustrating at times.

I will talk to you soon -
Liz

 

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