Please Help, Depressed and Confussed
1 Replies
lb1030 - March 16

I have had 1 voluntary termination, 4 diagnosed miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy, and 1 undiagnosed miscarriage. I began seeing a fertility specialist when I had the ectopic pregnancy. After taking 5 shots of chemotheropy, the ectopic desolved and I had a larporascopy to clean the rest out. I was then diagnosed with endometriosis, which I took 3 shots of Lupron to clear. When I went through all of the fertility testing everything checked out just fine, but because I can't seem to hold a baby past 6 weeks, I was recommeded to get IVF from 2 different fertility specialist. I have been faithfull, beleiving that I will conceive, but I just haven't been making it full term. This is putting a strain on my 7 year marraige because my husband is about ready to give up. He tells me that he hates seeing me go through the pain and depression, but I just can't give up. Reproducing life means everything to me. I just don't know what to do.


panamahat - March 30

Dear lb1030,

I am so sorry to hear of your terrible misfortune. I have had a similar journey over the past 5.5 yrs with 2 ectopics, and 4 intrauterine pregnancies, none of which lasted past 6 weeks. After 4 losses we tried IVF with PGD, twice. The first time we got no normal embryos to put back, the second we put back two, and miscarried very early.

The loss, grief and uncertainty of recurrent miscarriage do put a strain on relationships. The best advice I can offer you is to seek some really good counselling. This is not a short term problem, and the solution won't be found in a on-off answer on a forum - it will take months, if not years, of hard work and soul searching on both your parts, before you can figure out how to deal with your pain and what you are going to do with your future plans (both individually and as a couple).

Support is crucial to emotional wellbeing through this process and I also urge you to seek out a group of people who understand what you are going through - either in real life, or on a forum, so you can stay in contact and talk through the tough times.

I wish you the very best of luck and hope you can find some peace and fulfilment in your life.



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