DH Having a hard time
4 Replies
Raisinette - March 11

My DH has low counts and it is destroying him. I think that our problem with infertilty has been harder on him than it has been for me. He doesn't always feel like a "real man." I reassure him that it is a biological function and it isn't his fault. We don't know what is wrong and we don't want to do IVF, which has been offered to us as the only option. He sighs when he sees adorable little kids. He's such a tender man, I wish I could find a way to better support him.


sarah27 - March 27


I know how you feel. My dh has no sperm at all. Its heartbreaking to lose something that you thought you would have. My dh also had a hard time with not feeling like a "man." We read Unsung Lullibies and that really helped him get his feelings out and it helped me to understand how he is feeling.

My dh and I thought of adoption and then we found Northwest Andrology. Dh had to come to terms with the fact that the child would never biologically be connected to him. We found a donor that is like my dh and are having iui's done. No one will know except close family. Its hard that you have gone through ivf and had it fail.
I hope next time it will work.

Good luck



amyjoy - March 28

Raisinette- we too were told ivf was out best chance with my dh's low count. But even with insurance, it is still pretty expensive. I am not sure what we are going to do now.


Freshstart - July 6

I have motility issues and a low sperm count. If things don't work out in 2007, I think we'll explore sperm donors and adoption.

God bless you all!



Freshstart and all:

I'm sure you've all heard of ICSI for most male variables involving either low morphology, low mobility, low chount.

I can share with you that ICSI works like a charm in conjuction with IVF. It's been around since 1993 and most embryologists are very good at the technique. ICSI doesn't HURT anybody physically. Basically, you only need as many intact individual sperm as you harvest follicles from the women. So that's going to be a very manageable number of individual sperm in most cases since follicle retrieval rarely exceeds 30 (in younger women).

My partner is extremely macho, but he's given up his sperm to the ICSI meisters given rather crummy morphology. He understands I have to go through all the crappy shots and blood draws, etc. He has a son years ago, so he thinks it is all my problem anyways which is indeed half the equation given my AMA status. (advanced maternal age). Thankfully, there is such technology as ICSI.

Suggested doc for male specifics is Dr. Peter Schlegel in NY. World-class, very very calm and reassuring. His has an excellent team. We went to him for a reality check up after partner came home from Iraq given the wacky shots/junk the military gives people in the service.
Much baby dust to everyone!



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