Just Joined. This is my story so far..>Sorry its long
1 Replies
Merrikins - June 7

Hi There Everyone. What a great site! I am still learning and a little slow. ???:
Here's my story: I am 33years old, have been with my partner for 12 years, live in Australia and have been TTC for 7 years. Month by month, year by year passed and no pregnancy. WHY ME is all I could scream! I have always put my career first and put this pregnancy 'problem' on the backburner thinking it will happen one day and I just needed to relax and have a break from my stressful job. Looking back, this is a huge regret as I took falling pregnant for granted! Who would have thought I couldn't fall pregnant? I was healthy, drank in moderation, didnt smoke, regularly exercised and always got my periods & ovulated on time. My partner and I then went to our GP and had a sperm test which came back 'brilliant'. Uh Oh, was this 'problem' my fault? Then my GP didnt like the idea of us wanting a child due to my congenital medical problems as he didnt think that I could carry a pregnancy safely. Another shock! Why didnt any previous doctor mention this to me in my 33 years of having operations and medical checkups? It was just getting worse! My partner and I then went to various specialists and I had to have test after test and never did we ever get a straight answer whether or not carrying a pregnancy would be a wise move. Our case was always put in the 'too hard basket' and they then referred us elsewhere. Many more months of visiting all these doctors took a toll and was very draining. One day I just gave up and couldnt take it anymore! Why was this all so unfair? Why was everyone around me falling pregnant for their 2nd and 3rd time at a drop of a hat and I had so many problems and no answers! I didnt care less about anything anymore. I blamed everyone, I refused to get out of bed and continually cried for days! Depression hit hard.
If it wasnt for my wonderful partner with his support, understanding, patience, cuddles and sweet talks and 'dont give up' attitude, I think I still would be such a mental wreck! He got me through those dark days and back on track! Every day still takes its toll to some degree. The tears were then wiped and I started to fight tooth and nail for this goal once again.
I then seeked an opinion from overseas, from a doctor specialising in my condition and pregnancy. All this took up another year of just waiting answers, test results again and seeing other doctors but at least we did our research! We then looked into Surrogacy as it would be the safest way to have our own child but its illegal in our State and we didnt have a surrogate. The rollercoaster of ups and downs have been unbelievable. Surrogacy came to a dead end when I couldnt find a surrogate and our States law wouldnt change allowing us to do surrogacy without a jail term. I begged our TV Stations to take on our story and our plea to change the law but luck again wasnt on our side. However our story was aired and we received a huge response of support and advice which kept us determined. Then a top medical specialist in our State's biggest hospital said he would agree to see us and look into and study our case. This gave us a bit of hope as someone was interested in helping us. He said that I 'should be' fine under extensive medical care if I fell pregnant and he would ensure I get the best care from him and his team of doctors! Yippee...things were looking up! But next, why couldnt we fall pregnant! Back to the drawing board. This brilliant doctor arranged a dye test on my tubes to find that I had only 1 tube and its blocked and therefore couldnt conceive naturally. (I was relieved in a way...As finally I got an exact answer.) We were then referred to an IVF Specialist who said also I 'should be' ok to carry a pregnancy and we were ok to start treatment. Another Yippee! My partner and I have decided after months of thinking "will we, wont we, is it worth it" ...a YES,...We will and are ready to start IVF. We know whats at stake if I fall pregnant! We are totally petrified but I really cannot ever forgive myself without giving it a go. I have always been very maternal, loved children and I know raising a child isnt a walk in the park. Yes I do have experience as I minded my nephew from 3 weeks old to 4 years old every weekend and even a week at a time for a while and it was hard but the rewards and love I had for him and vice versa was amazing. Does it get even better if you have your own? If I dont go ahead with IVF I feel I will let down myself, my partner, our parents and our own dream will be shattered. I know I may sound insane to some but I dont want to reach another 7years and wish I had given it a go because by then my body wont be able to cope with carrying a child. Its now or never. Who knows miracles do happen and I am doing everything in my power to be fit, knowledgable, and staying positive with fingers and toes crossed. We are starting our first IVF cycle next week. I do understand IVF is another long emotional journey on its own therefore I'm so relieved to have found this site for support, advice, friendship and understanding. Thanks for reading my story. I'll keep you posted! PS: I cannot wait to read other couples stories on this site. I didnt think such sites existed!


SHELLY - June 7








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