ttc after m/c
358 Replies
liz - June 30

Hi ladies! Glad to hear from you all!

Slatka, When I read you post I sat here crying. Your words were amazing and yes you are very correct. No soul is ever lost. Our babies will live inside of us always.

I think it is only natrual for us to "remember" they due date of our babies and mourn the loss. No matter how great things are going this month with me I still just can't get my mind off of my lost baby. I am trying and keep telling myself that I am going to have another baby real soon and my little girl (we knew) who never made it into my arms is an angel looking over all of us. She is watching out for me mommy and little brother or sister even before they are born.

Denise, I can understand your impatience. I am a very impatient person at times and it this process to motherhood is very frustrating. I wanted to share this with you because it might give you something to think about. In my Clomid cycle (May) they were monitoring me very closely with bw and ultra sounds. On day 12 for me my follicle measured 20, my estrodiol was 398 but no lh surge. They told me that the follicle was ready and we needed to do a trigger shot since I was not ovulating on my own. Of course I had to ask questions since I always ovulate how could it be that I am not surging the month. They told me that sometimes you do not surge until it is late (which can increase the chance of an egg that is over mature) or to early (not mature yet). In my case it has to do with my messed up hormones. Anyway I just thought I would let you know about that, something to think about. I definatly don't want to sound like I am telling you there is something wrong because most likely there is not I just wanted to make you aware of my situation in case you needed to expore this further. I also did not surge this month on the injections, we had to do the tigger shot last night. There is also a chance that you could have ovulated already. I know when I was doing my temp it never seemed to surge, but yet when I went for day 22 bw they said I did ovulate. Again, my hormones are out of wack.

Trina, you are wonderful! You always make me smile when I read you posts. I am glad to see you are doing well! Good luck painting you house, hey if it works to keep your mind off of it go for it girl! ;)

Everyone I know it has been a long week, I am thinking about each and everyone of you and praying that all this bd'ing will work this month. By the way Trina I am praying you are right and not just someone gets the bfp, we all do. I am so glad that I found all of you. You have been quite an inspiration for me over the last weeks.

Take care, have a great weekend (Slatka, I think we are finally going to be dry :), have a great 4th of July, stay patient, remain calm and most of all keep up the bd'ing.

Talk to you soon,


Trina76 - July 1

Hi guys, just logged on to tell everyone "HAPPY 4th of JULY WEEKEND!!!!!!" I haven't made any plans for the 4th yet, but the 3rd is DH's 29th birthday and he's getting a superise birthday party that his mom and I are putting together. He told me he has never had a birthday party, so , I intend on changing that, it's going to be wonderful!! Wish you guys could come:). So ladies relax your mind, drink a glass of wine, a beer, or whathever and let the sparks fly indoors as well as out!!!!:)

Baby Dust to All


weazie - July 1

Good Morning All,

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. I am in Canada but this is also a long weekend for us with today being Canada Day.

Liz thank you for the information you pasted on. I do really feel there is a problem with me ovulating. Even last cycle I was starting to ovulate and it was like something just stopped inside. I don't even know if it is possible for me to be able to tell. I just think I am so in tune with my body maybe I just over analyze things. I don't think I missed ovulation this month. I use a fertility monitor and have had 9 days of high but no peak, plus I check my cervical position and there hasn't been any change. Oh well I'll just be patient. I think for me it is just more I get into a panick. I'll be 36 in October and I think I just have in my head if it doesn't soon it won't. I don't feel like time is on my side.

I have my charts all ready and I am off to the doctors on Thursday and I'll go from there.

baby dust and prayers to you all.

Happy Canada Day and 4th of July to you all!!!


liz - July 3

Good morning ladies. Hope all is well. I think we (if not all most) of us are in the dreaded 2ww!

Denise, You are very welcome on the info. The one thing I could suggest is ask your doctor to do a simple blood test on day 22. Ask them to test your Estrodiol and Progesterone. Your Progersterone should be over 10, and what that means is you ovulated. Estrodiol they want to see it above 100. The Estrodiol level allows them to tell your quality olulvation to some extent. Just a suggestion, it might be a simple, quick answer for your question about ovulating. I know it is really hard but try not to think about age. I know it is easier said then done, but you also know that adding that stress may make it even harder for you.

Trina, Hope you had a wonderful birthday party for dh! I am sure he is very appreciative for giving him his first birthday party!

Slatka, Anything you can do to keep your mind occupied will help wonders. I was doing a lot of walking, but recently things have been pretty busy for my dh and I. In Aug. we are starting to build our new home. My dh is building it himself with some help from family and friends. It is quite an undertaking and I am spending all my spare time picking out windows, kitchens, baths etc. It is keeping my mind pretty occupied, however no matter how busy I am my mind still goes to making a baby and being a mother. I guess this is completly natural.

Hope everyone is well. Have a great 4th and Denise I hope you had a nice Canada day! Talk to you all soon
Baby dust to all of you prayers too!


liz - July 3


We haven't heard from you in awhile. How are you doing?

Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you.


gavinsmommy - July 3

Hi everyone,

I too also suffered a miscarriage on April 14th, 2002.
I know the pain, anger and suffering that all of you are experiencing. I was never the same after that day. I felt as if a thief had come in the night and had taken something from me and that there was nothing that I could do to stop it.
Here is a website I found for any of you interested. You can get pendants there and bracelets for the date of your loss and the date the baby was due. I just thought maybe it would be something that might help you in your pain. I planted rose bushes the year I lost my baby, and every year I look forward to them coming back. I have since named my baby Aiden, it is a unisex name. We lost our baby at 10 1\2 weeks so I didn't know if it was a little boy or a girl. I hope this will be of some help to all of you. Tons of Blessings and Baby Dust to all of you.


liz - July 3

Hello Gavinsmommy,
Thank you so much for dropping in and telling us your story. I am sorry to hear about your loss of "Aiden" (that is a beautiful name), iam sure you carry him/her with you ever day of your life.
After my miscarriage I never felt the same, I feel like a part of me is always missing. I try very hard to think that my little girl is in heaven and now she is an angel looking down on me.
For me I felt a little bit of closure when I got the results back from the testing they did on the fetus after the d&c. It was hard for me to go through with the d&c however it was my 3rd miscarriage and I really needed to know why this was happening. The results came back that she had what they call a trisomy 13. She had 3 chromosomes instead of 2 and if I would have carried her to term she would have most likely died shortly after. That was really hard for me to hear and accept, but it did make me feel better to be able to put a sex and a reason behind my lost baby.
Thank you for the website info, I checked it out. I never knew there were items out there like that.
Blessings to you as well, and of course lots of baby dust to you!


Trina76 - July 4

Hello ladies, how are you guys doing tonight? DH and I had a wonderful time tonight!! It started as a small get together in the house, turned into a big yard party, ant then we got rained on!!! I was kinda glad, I was ready for everyonye to go, so me and my hubby could have some guality time, before he got drunk and passed out!!!! Overall we had a ball.... Looking foward to Oct. 1st......(I want a party,too)!!!!! you ladies be good!!!!

HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


gavinsmommy - July 4

Hi Liz,

I also had testing done on the fetus, and the results were inconclusive. To this day my heart still aches and the tears still fall. I am sure there was a small amount of comfort to be given a reason of why. I feel the same way as if a huge part of me is missing. The little things I have done for the baby helps me keep the baby alive and with me. I don't know if you listen to country music but there is a song by a singer named Kenny Chesney called "Who You'd be Today", and it gets me everytime. I will keep you and everyone else in my prayers on our journey to BFP healthy babies. Much Baby Dust and comfort to all!!!


liz - July 4

Hi Gavinsmommy,
I am so sorry that you were unable to get any results with you testing. You are right, I did get a small about of comfort having a reason.
It is funny you should mention Kenny Chesney. My dh and I are huge country fans and Kenny is our favorite. "Who You'd Be Today" is a very tough song for me to listen to. Just yesterday I was driving home listening to the cd and crying while listening to it. I just kept thinking that my baby might have been here by now. (I was due July 5th). In May we saw Kenny in concert and live that song was even more beautiful. I just had to keep telling myself that she is in heaven, my angel watching over me.
You mentioned that you planted roses the year you had your miscarriage. This spring I made a large flower bed around my new deck, one of the flowers I planted was a rose tree. I watched it grow and amazingly the day I got some bad news in June I walked out on my deck and looked at the rose tree. There was one single rose blooming. I felt comfort in that, I felt like I was being told something. I felt like my angel and God were trying to tell me it was going to be ok, just have faith.
Anyway, sorry I got a little long winded there. Are you currently in the ttc boat with all of us here?

Hi Trina,
Great to hear you had a wonderful birthday party for dh.

Take care everyone. Prayers and boat loads of baby dust to all of you :) (and me)

Happy 4th of July



gavinsmommy - July 4

Hi Liz,

Yes me and my dh are also in the ttc boat. You will be just fine, I can feel it in my heart. The year I lost Aiden I had the worst af's after that. Everything was off the walls with my body. It was so hard to just function everyday. Minutes turned into hours and days seemed like they stood still for me. I was just about to give up hope and it was 8 months after I lost Aiden that I was finally pregnant again. I was so scared because of losing Aiden that the same would happen again. I had to go for my first ultrasound, Dh was with me. The technician put the wand to my belly and said oh my God, I started to shake and cry. She said why are you crying honey and I said there is no heart beat is there. She looked at me and said no there are 2 heartbeats. My Dh had to sit down because he was so overcome by shock and joy. I know God and Aiden were watching over me that day. On July 9th 2003 I delivered a little girl and a little boy 7weeks early. My daughter was doing fine at birth. She was a little small and could not keep herself warm yet. My son on the other hand came 41 minutes later and he was blue and lifeless. My heart was ripped out of my chest. The doctors told me he was in distress and it would be 72 hours before we would know the outcome. I begged God that day not to take him and that I could not go through this again. My son was in a coma for about a week, but he did come out of it. He had suffered some brain bleeds and they did not know what his future would be as far as disabilities. All I can say is to this day he is growing into a wonderful little boy, he has some slight speech problems and a little limp on his left side but he is all boy. Today is the day we celebrate their birthdays. I am sorry to have gone on so long. I will keep you in my prayers and I am sending a big Happy Birthday to your little girl. Much Baby dust to you Liz!!!
P.S. talk about a small world with the Kenny Chesney thing:0


liz - July 4

Hello gavinsmommy,

Since joining this site I not only learned alot, I have been touched by so many truly wonderful women. You are definatly no exception. While reading your story I was sitting here with tears in my eyes. There is something very special about your story and the "timing" it came into my life. You have given me a great deal of encouragement just in sharing with me what you went through.
Twins, wow I bet that was a real shocker for you and dh. My dh wants twins, he always has! We shall see.
Did you do anything different when you conceived the twins, any medication, do they run in your family?
I can only imagine how scary it was for you when your son was in a coma. Hearing your story there is not a doubt in my mind that your little Aiden and of course God were watching over you and your baby/babies.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story with me. I am not sure I can explain it, but you have really touched me, I feel very much like I was sopossed to meet you. Your story has given me inspiration and hope.
Happy 3rd birthday to the twins, I hope they had a wonderful celebration today.
Are you currently in any kind of treatment to conceive or are you just trying on your own (with dh's help of course)? :)
I was on Clomid for 2 months and it didn't work out so good for me. This month I went on Repronex and had a great cycle. 2 mature follicles, just waiting now in the dreaded 2ww. If this dosen't work out this month I think I will stick with the Repronex for 2 more months and then take a break from the meds. I know that my chance of conceiving on my own is not so good, since I have hormone issues, but it is always possible. Sometimes the stress of ttc is overwhelming for me. I become even more impatient then I already am. :(
Anyway, I did it again, sorry for being so long winded. In case you haven't noticed I love to talk. :)
My prayers to you, your little ones and may you have lots of baby dust around you! :)


Slatka - July 5

Hi everyone -- Liz, Trina, Denise -- good to hear your chatter over the holdiay weekend. And hello to gavinsmommy, too.

Happy Fourth! I'm listening to the fireworks boom down on the National Mall (am NOT braving the crowds and heat this year) and hoping my air conditioner stays blasting. Don't know if it's the heat, but it's been a sluggish few days.

Went to see my mom in NJ. She's been incredibly supportive through this whole saga of m/c and forever TTC; I couldn't ask for a better support. She's even learned not to say those ever-popular phrases: just relax, and you'll get pregnant, for example.

WEll, I'm going to see what's in the fridge. I'm a little underweight for my height (112 at 5'5") and the family wisdom is I need to gain weight. That, and get a haircut! Seriously, I fear it may be yet another factor in my trouble conceiving. So I make a list, and try to tackle all obstacles. Can't you see my anxiety disorder in full force!!! ha, ha

Trina, my husband and I are taking the party-time attitude to heart here this weekend -- I need a nice martini. Glad you all had a nice birthday celebration. I've got to start looking up at the sky, instead of down to the ground. Your spirit helps me!

Talk to you all soon -- Slatka


Trina76 - July 5

Hi Girls,-Liz, Denise, Slatka and Gavinsmommy, So good to hear from all of you good people,today!!! Hope everyone has had an enjoyable 4th up until this point, anyway.I love to see the fireworks, but hate the smell, so about 35 mins was all I could stand. I left dh and ds outside, with enough firworks to keep them occupied for a good 45 mins...I have stomach cramps af not due for at least another week...Guess I'll get on the tredmill for a 20 min. jog and then the jucuzzi for a long soak.
Slatka before our m/c I was about 15lbs. underweight (5'7-120lbs. wearing a 44DD, all natural, I know sound weird huh?)while having the m/c I was given the usual bedrest thingy and that mixed with nervousness and depression I am now 137lbs. I eat when emotional, and work out when I'm stressed( 2ww is on so, I've turned about 8 or 9lbs. into muscle) I'm thinking of trying for 150 lbs. (so my body will fit my breast) but if I get pregnant again I will be there soon enough.



gavinsmommy - July 5

Hello Ladies,
I hope everyone had a great 4th of July! Hi liz the twins loved their birthday. They ran theirselves silly. I was not taking anything to get pregnant with the twins. The only thing I tried the month I conceived was green tea and robitussin. I saw something on the baby center about green tea and robitussin, so I thought what the heck I will give it a try. My doctor was just as shocked when he found out that I was pregnant with the twins. He had became a very good friend to me when I suffered my loss of Aiden. He knew how devastated I was and he had comforted me with his own story. He told me that he and his wife had lost 14 babies and were told they would not be able to conceive. They had adopted a baby boy, and the next thing he knew was that his wife was pregnant. They now have 8 beautiful children. Liz my dad has a fraternal twin brother so he thought it was great when he found out I was having twins. I feel the same way like we were suppose to meet. I have been taking the ovulex since May 23rd, I had regular Af's but they were very heavy. I thought i would give it a try to see if it would ease things. My af flow showed up a week late like everyone else. It was much lighter. I thought that this was great and then I started spotting like 2 days after it stopped. Then it got heavier so I stopped the ovulex for 2 days and it got worse. I called the ovulex # and they said to start it again so I did and now it is like day 20 something for af , but it looks like it might be going away. Who knows:(! Talk about liking to talk look at this entry HE HE. I will talk to all of you later, have a great day. Tons of Baby Dust and Blessings to all of you!


Slatka - July 5

Hi all

Trina, hope your stomach cramps have eased up. I know the drive to work out when stressed (my mom suggested knitting -- that lasted for a couple of scarves, then I had to recognize I would never move beyond the knit stitch!): I just have an uneasy feeling that I overdo it. When I was in high school ( a million years ago -- ok, early nineties) I ran track, cross country, soccer and danced ballet. I would sometimes skip periods and would have awful cramps. I haven't gone back to that level of activity, but I'm always aware of my tendency. It sounds like you're moving to a more healthy weight on a healthy frame -- muscle! All I can think of is your poor back when you were a too skinny 120 with your breast size! I, unfortunately, am of the size that bra manufacturers think require a huge foam pad in each cup (a B), even if I don't want them!!! OUr bodies are such a source of worry...and humor, sometimes.

My mantra is balance and moderation...though I break that often enough.

Hello to everyone on this rainy, humid day (here in DC). I'm heading toward ovulation (I hope) -- will this month be our month? I'm thinking of those of you in the 2 week wait right now.




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