ttc after m/c
358 Replies
liz - August 14

Hello Ladies -

Denise -
Sorry to hear about af. She can be a real drag. The good news is you had your appointment today. Wow came quick. How did it go?
Glad to hear dh is better and the deck is done. That is great news.

Gavinsmommy -
47 fish! Holy Cow, you did excellent.
I think it is worth the opinion to talk to your priest about you dd. I know how scared you can get and rightfully so. Maybe he can give you some suggestions as to how to deal with it and possibly put an end to it.

I am doing pretty good. I get these cramps like af but then again they could be like o. I don't know but they hurt. Did you experience any of this? It makes me nervous everytime. They come and go but are definatly worse at night. I also get these cramps in my thighs that hurt really bad. I talked to the nurse today and she is not sure about the leg cramps. She feels it may have something to do with the increase of progesterone. I am going tomorrow for an u/s so they can look at my ovaries. She is thinking they may be a bit swollen from the stimulation and I said I would feel better if they took a look. We won't be able to see anything yet, but atleast we can check out the ovaries and make sure they are ok.

Any helpful hints would be greatly appreciated or experience.

Take care everyone, I am hitting the sofa for a cat nap. :)



gavinsmommy - August 14

Hi Liz,

I also had the leg cramps and cramps like af was going to show. My doctor said it was from the increase in blood volume that was occuring from my pregnancy. He said that it was normal and that I would be feeling alot of differnet symptoms from the pregnancy. He said that the cramping in my stomach was my ligaments. He said if the cramping was very severe or if there was bleeding to give him a call. I hope this helps. I would still take it easy and I know you are going to worry after what you have been through. I am here for you and so is everyone else. Let me know how your u/s turns out. Wishing you the best and praying for you and your lil pea or peas.


weazie - August 14

Hi All

Well I had my appointment today so now we start with some testing. Since AF showed on Sunday I get Day 3 bloodwork done tomorrow then again on CD 23. Next Monday I go first thing in the morning for a HSG and dh has too do his SA sometime this cycle as well. Once we get our results I guess we know if there is a next step for help or we just keep trying like we have been.

Gavinsmommy Glad you enjoyed your vacation. The twins must have had a great time. It sounds like you kept them super busy with great day trips all week. What day are you in your 2ww?

Liz let us know how your US goes tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you. I know you won't find out for a bit still but I can't wait too find out if you have 1 or 2 lil beans in there. I laughed in the waiting room today they had pictures up of babies that were conceived with fertility treatment. Dh was sitting quietly but I was watching him count the pictures they had up with twins and then when he spotted the triplets he got a nervous look on his It was cute.

Well better run and have some dinner.


liz - August 15

Hello ladies -

Denise -
Sounds like you had a good appointment. Atleast you are headed in a good direction. I had the hsg, and the cd 23 bw. That is how they discovered the estrodiol problem. Just out of curisioty did he tell you what he will be be testing on cd 23? I was just wondering if it was estrodiol and progesterone like mine was. As for the hsg I will not lie to you it is uncomfortable. They told me talk 4 advil before I went in because I would get cramping. I did and it did hurt like heck, but the good news is it goes aways rather quick. I am a baby when it comes to pain so I might have been more sensitive than someone else.
I had to laugh when I read about dh and the pictures. My dh did the same thing when he looked at the pictures of the ivf babies. You are right it is cute.
How do you feel going away from your appointment? Relieved? Nervous? I am sure a little of everything. I remember my first appt with the re (I didn't actually see the re, I met with the nurse because his schedule was so full and they knew they wanted to try me on Clomid from the bw discovery) I was relieved, nervous, scared all in one. Most of all I felt like we were doing something and that made me feel good. I felt a new side of hope.

As for me, well I went for the u/s this morning and sure enough I have 3 cysts. One on the left and two on the right. They are alittle larger then what they consider normal howeve she says they will be just fine and will not interfere with the preg. or my health. I am sopossed to take it easy, no lifting, stay off my feet as much as possible and rest, rest and more rest. Oh, and no sex. Bummer, but you do what you got to do. She said the sex would probably just hurt me since my ovaries are so swollen. So other then that we know nothing new. It was too early to see the sack (which I knew going in) but atleast now we have some idea as to why I am feeling so bloated and the cramps. Actaully the cramps have been better today, I think sometimes it is all in your head. I am still nervous today I haven't had many sign of pregnancy and my nurse assured me that this is normal. She says she has women call her all the time because they woke up and don't feel any symptoms. The reason she gave me is your body gets used to the rise in hormones and your hormones may hold steady at a certain number and then before you know it they start moving again and your symptoms come back. I guess this makes sense, but it is very scary to not have symptoms one day and the next to have them all. For me right now it's one day at a time and see where we go from here. I am praying for the best and hopefully this is my chance.

Gavinsmommy -
When is af due to arrive? I know it has to be soon right? I am losing track of time these day and losing my mind! lol

I am thinking about you all praying for new beginnings.
Lots of hugs and baby dust ladies.


gavinsmommy - August 16

Hi my buddies,

Weazie, the twins had a blast. We were their lil butts off them. I am on cd22 right now. So I still have some time left with my wait. At least when dh had me running myself ragged last week I didn't have time to think let alone blink. Let us know how everything goes with your appointments.

Liz, sorry to hear about those darn cyst. I think we put your ovaries into overdrive. How far are you along right now do you know? I know not having sex will be a bummer but it is for the best. My dh's head dropped when the doctor told us that with the twins. Then the doc told him don't worry there are other things you can do so be creative. I turned beat red. Dh almost fell over when the doctor said it. I understand that the sperm can cause you contractions and you don't want that. So be creative! LOL. I am also losing track of time especially after last week. Take it easy and just rest!

Trina, how are you? We haven't heard from you in awhile. I pray all is well.

Slatka, still thinking and praying for you.

Lila, how are you feeling?

When I don't hear from you guys it makes me nervous. I hope you are all just busy.

Mega Hugs and Prayers, Healthy pregnancies, And Extra Sticky Baby Dust!!!!!!


Trina76 - August 16

Hi All, (Here I Go Again- Alert!!!!)
Thursday-the 10th via emergency room visit I found out I was pregnant. Friday, I was lucky enough to get an appointment with my obgyn. He did a complete work up,sono, blood work, pelvic exam and all. After the exam I felt a little discomfort-which I've been feeling alot of lately, my doc assured me everything was fine. I left the appointment did some running around, shopping and ect. Made it home, ran my bubble bath, lit some candles,grabbed a book and dimmed the lights. When I raised my leg to step into the tub I felt some sharp cramps, I sat down in the hot water and it didn't help. I closed my eyes and laid back, prayed something serious-trying to calm my nerves, the cramps intensed, I got out of the water dryed off and saw blood. I called my doctor he told me it was probably from the pelvic exam-I'm thinkin yeah right, I hung up the phone got dressed and went to the ER. Found out I was two months pregnant and in active labor, and there was nothing they could do to save my baby.....they kept me in the hospital for mental evaluation,and sunday morning I had a D & C done and was sent home by lunch time... What a ride this past weekend has been....It is so much heart ache to know you can get pregnant, but not stay pregnant...BYE GUYS


Lila - August 16

Trina I am so sorry. I know words can not express how much pain you must be going through and my heart just aches for you. Just take all the time you need to grieve and know that we are all thinking about you and sending you as much love and empathy as possible.

I saw that you were still online when I read this and I just wanted to reach out and hug you - I know these words will do little to comfort you so I hope your DH is doing everything possible to get you through these terrible days.

Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers


weazie - August 16

Trina I just read your post. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you and dh are going thru right now.

Please know you are both in my thoughts and prayers.



liz - August 16

Trina -

I am so sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain.

I am at a loss for words since I know that there is nothing that can be said that can take away your pain you are feeling right now.

Please know you and your dh are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry Trina.



gavinsmommy - August 16


I am so sorry sweetie. My heart is aching so bad for you. I can barely even type right now because I have so many tears running. I know there is nothing any of us can say that will make your pain ease. We have all been there. I to this day cannot let go of my m/c. I am thankful for what I have but the pain and heartache will always be there. We are here for you, please take it easy and tell dh I am sooooo sorry.

Love you Trina and may God guide you in this.


Slatka - August 16

Dear Trina --

I haven't been around for awhile -- several reasons which I'll tell you all later (nothing bad, just busy)-- but I checked in today to hear your terrible news. I thought I'd pop on and chat about what's been going on, etc., etc., but I am going to bypass that now.

I can -- as can all of the women here -- imagine your pain to a certain point, having gone through such loss (es), but no one can truly feel another's deep pain. To say one can is to diminish it, and we cannot do that.

There was nothing you could've done, nothing the doctors could have done -- this little soul was meant to be with you for just a little while. Oh, Trina, I am stumbling over words, reliving my own m/c almost 6 months ago -- nothing anyone could say, nothing anyone did say would help at that time. One thing I must say is that I admire your courage in telling us: it's a damn hard thing to do, when all you might want to do is curl up and hide. Keep talking to the women here...we won't let you go away.

So I come out of what seems like a long absence to say, peace be with you, Trina. I'm crying for you -- know that everyone here is holding out their arms to you.

I will be back when I can. Take care, everyone, please take care --



Tiffany F - August 16


I so feel your pain, just reading your last post reminds me so much of myself, there is nothing anyone can say or do to help take this pain away.

I have had around 10 m/cs, the last being 02/06 I have taken just about every test you can imagine and they all have come back negative, I usually can't make it past 5-7 weeks.

You start to wonder why me? Never do I question the Lord, I feel everything happens for a reason, some reasons I can't and don't understand so I try not to figure it out, but it's hard never the less.

I almost know for a fact I'm p/g now, but I won't take a test just in case I m/c I can sike my mind out to believe it's just a/f coming, now that's really sad to have to live your life in denial, I even have dh thinking I'm on a/f, only because after being active Saturday night I started bleeding, I did'nt pass any clots, and the next day it stopped and it was like the end of your a/f when it's brownish hopefully not TMI, and it just stopped.

So it's like I'm living a lie so I won't hurt dh, It does'nt get any easier after every m/c but I can deal with it better then he can, so I guess I will continue to take prenatal, folate and 81mg of aspirin, and pray and believe I make it to 12 weeks then I will go see an obgyn.

Trina also with one of my pregnancies I had gone to the dr and did'nt know I was p/g for my yearly pap and other test and when I got home I was spotting, did'nt think anything of it, the next day they called and told me I was p/g, by this time I was bleeding, so needless to say that resulted in another m/c, I told the dr if I had'nt had the pap I would have not started bleeding, but I was told that if you are p/g, and you m/c from having something inserted into your vagina that it was not a pregnancy that was going to last, because you have to be checked vaginally when your p/g.

So don't know just wanted to share a little with you and the other ladies.

You and your dh will be in my prayers and my thoughts take care and God bless, you are not in this alone.


lili246 - August 16

I am so sorry!!
I hope you are feeling better. I really know how you feel, knowing that you can get pregnant but not being able to stay pregnant, while in my cause it's very hard to get pregnant.
I wish you the best of luck and stay positive that God knows how well you have taken care of your husband child and you are more than ready to have your own child. He will bless you with a child of you own, just stay positive and have faith.

I will pray for you and your DH.

Hope that you feel better soon!

God Bless!



liz - August 17

Tiffany -

I read your post and just wanted to say that I am so sorry that you had to go through 10 m/s with no explanation as to why. I myself have been through 3 and the pain from that is overwhelming. I can imagine how scared you must be to get pregnant again. There is always that question of if it is going to happen again. I think we find ourself focusing on the negative to often but this is how we cope when we have such loses in our lives. I myself do this often, I never want to look for the postitive and relax about preg because I know all to well how temporary it can be.

If you are pregnant again I wish you the best of luck this time. I pray that you will be able to carry this baby to term and finally get to hold him/her in your arms instead of the babies you now can only hold near and dear to you heart.

Take care of yourself,


Tiffany F - August 20


Thank you so much for your kind words!

But once again my fears turned to reality, as I had mentioned I had not told dh I was p/g, but sure enough for the past few days my stomach has been hurting like crazy.

Dh gets up around 5:45 am for work, I get up also and make his breakfast, yesterday thank God he said that's okay I'll just go by Starbucks and grab some coffee, I thought thank you God because my stomach was killen me, but there was no blood.

So last night before going to bed once again my stomach was cramping so bad, I thought Lord please let me just make it through the night.

And I did.....But like clock work we were back up at 5:45 am, something just told me to go in the other bathroom not the one in our room, because dh was in there washing his face.

I forgot to say last night through all the discomfort, I prayed as always, but this time I said " Lord if this is going to be another baby I am going to loss, please don't have me to suffer and go through this pain, mentally, physically and emtionally, I would rather m/c now then later".

So when I went to the bathroom I felt myself passing clots and it was bright red! I broke down.

I went in the bathroom with dh (who knows when af is due better then I do) and I said it happened, he said what, I wipped and showed him and he knew it was not time for af, I just lost it!

I never question God, but it gets to the point to where you wonder why me, why us, I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage, dh and I have been together for over seven years and he has no children of his own, he always blames hisself, but I told him I'm the problem, but he says no, you have had children before, I told him that means nothing, even with my youngest who is ten I could'nt carry her pass 26 1/2 weeks, she weighed under 2 lbs, something is wrong with me!!!

I have had so many test done and everything comes back negative, It's crazy to want to go to a Dr and hope to get a positive reading, usually you hope everything is negative.

Dh just called and said he made it to work, I told him not to stay home, we just bought a townhome 3 months ago and moved to another state we can't afford for him to take off right now and I don't work.

Thank you so much for allowing me to vent, my stomach is hurting bad but not as bad as it was, so I guess I grab Winston (our malti-poo puppy 4 1/2 months) and go upstairs and finsh crying before my daughters wake up.

Because us as moms always have to have our game face on and be good moms, so the kids don't have to worry what's wrong with mom, why is she crying, this why I can cry and go to sleep and be ready to deal with the world all over again!

Thank you so much for allowing me to share my story!


NANCY - August 20

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know that when I went through a m/c 4 yrs ago this poem use to help me. I hope that it gives some comfort to some of you. Thinking and praying for all of you.


Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks--

I had you to myself

And that seems too short a time

to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks--

I came to know you

and to love you.

You came to trust me with your life.

Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks--

When I lost you.

I lost a lifetime of hopes,

plans, dreams, and aspirations...

A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks--

It wasn't enough time to convince others

how special and important you were.

How odd, a truly unique person has recently died

and no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks--

And no "normal" person would cry all night

over a tiny, unfinshed baby,

or get depressed and withdrawn day after endless day.

No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one

you darted in and out of my life too quickly.

But it seems that's all the time you needed

to make my life so much richer

and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

Poem Copyright 1984 by Susan Erling Martinez



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