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lili you don't know me, but I have recently went thru a loss. June 1st of this year I lost my baby boy at 6 1/2 months. I was just going in for a regular appt. and that's when I received the horrible news. I totally understand the feeling of still having your baby inside of you after he/she has already passed, but baby gurl you have to go thru the grief, denial, depression, and then acceptance. That's the order my feelings went. I told myself that I wasn't going to be able to put myself thru that situation again, especially seeing as how long it took for us to get pregnant ( 15 months) in the first place. God does things for a reason and it will be a while before that becomes clear to you. Keep your head up and always go to him for your answers, and remember when I just mentioned that I wouldn't be able to do it again.....I found out yesterday that I am pregnant...Faith lili....you have to have faith.

Hello ladies! I miss y'all, like they say here in Georgia. I have been reading up on you all.

Jiggidysgirl: Sweetie, I am no psychologist but I noticed that men seem to want babies until they realize that after a while, they are no longer the most important thing in your life anymore. I realize that it is hard to do things alone, and sometimes painful, but I find comfort in knowing that my girlfriend will do things with me that my hubby won't because its time that you won't get to spend with her once the baby comes. Your husband is going through a selfish phase right now and hopefully before he's hurt you beyond repair, he will realign himself with what's right.

Monica: I will be sending you something shortly, so look out for my email asking for your address. I have a babyshower in Stone Mountain this sunday at 3! Isn't that a coincidence.

Nancy & Charity: HI LADIES! Hope all is well with you and your buttons!


As far as names go: I have narrowed it down to four girls names and three boys names:

Girls: Isabella Grace; Taryn Monique (I know, but it goes nicely) Sidney Reese; Mya Simone

Boys: Xavier Hugh (I hate hugh but it's my husband and his father's first name); Donovan Hugh; Quincy Hugh;

Let me know what you all think.

Monique (Nichol).

Lili,

I'm praying for you,your little angel and your family. I don't know what you are going through so I can't say that I understand but I will pray everyday for you and know that June_First_2006 is telling the truth about having faith. I also heard that after you have a baby and after you have lost a child you are very fertile so thats something to think about also.

You are in my prayers!

God Bless

~Honey~

Lila: Sweetie, I am so sorry. :'( I know that all the sorries in the world won't change things, just want you to know that we love you and we're praying for you. Sometimes God needs Angels at their purest. Cry. Cry until you can't any longer. And when the crying has stopped, rejoice that his soul is with the Creator and that he has been inducted into heaven as an Angel.

Liz,
I go for d&c tomorrow, what exactly they do to you and your baby, can you give me some feedback about the process I am kinda scared about it and realized that after that I will not be pregnant no more. And my baby will be gone. Can you tell me how the process goes?
Please, thank you.

Thank you all ladies for the nice words you have said they really make me feel better, but the pain is still in hear and don't know how long it will stay with me, but I have faith that god will bless me soon with another baby because I will not let myself go down and get depressed I have my child to take care and my family to look after. I really appreciate your nice comments. I am sure this will go away soon but don't know what will happen tomorrow.

~Lili

Lili,

I am sure you are scared, this is only natural. When I had my d&c they put me to sleep. The last thing I remember was laying in the or with the doctor and all the nurses around me. I woke up in a recovery room with my husband by my side. He told me that from the time he left me to the time they came for him it was only a half hour. I don't remember anything since I was asleep, which is probably a good thing.
The emptiness I felt was hard and all I really wanted to do was crawl in bed and grieve. I had no problems from the d&c and was perfectly normal, physically the next day. The emotional scare of losing my baby of course is still there.
Please let us know how you make out tomorrow. I am praying for you.
Like others have told you, always keep the faith no matter how dark these days there will be brighter ones ahead, I promise.
(((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Liz

Liz,
SO you didn't know anything during the surgery? Did it hurt you after words, how did you feel after, any cramps and you did bleed for a few days right? I just want to make sure I know what I am looking forward, I don't want to get scared if I see something wiered. They said that it's better to get this done than the normal miscarriage where you do the bleeding and baby falls by itself, because by doing this they clean you up and may avoid this from happening in the future.
Thanks for your advise and for sharing some info with me. I hope everything is ok and that my baby is with god taking care of all of us.

~Lili

Lili,

That is correct I did not feel a thing, I was asleep. I amd not sure if that is standard procedure, I just know it was how it was for me. Could you call your docs office and ask them if you will be put to sleep? Did they tell you not to eat or drink anything for so many hours? If they did I would say you are probably going to sleep for the procedure.
I had some cramping but nothing bad at all. I had bleeding for a couple of days but again nothing bad. Af arrived exactly 4 weeks after my d&c. I was fortunate that my cycles went completly back to normal. I know some women who do have trouble getting regular again however I was fortuante not to experience this. I had my procedure done on a Monday late like 11pm the bleeding was gone by Thursday. On Sat. I had a lot of bleeding and cramping which reminded me of af cramps. I thought it was strange and was ready to call the doc when it went away just as quickly as it came on. I still to this day have no idea what it was but I am thinking it was just normal.
For me having a d&c was the way to go. It was very hard for me don't get me wrong but I feel it would have been even harder to let it pass naturally. I didn't want to drag it out, again it is just my opinion. I felt the d&c gave me some closure and I was able to move on to the next step in the grieving process. The other good thing about having a d&c is you can have the fetus tested to try to determine why you miscarried. Dh and I chose to have them test so we would hopefuly get some answers (this was my 3rd miscarriage). I also agree that the d&c does clean you out, which is best for you. I believe you are making the right decision in going ahead with the d&c. No matter how tragic it is you still need to think about what is best for you. That is how I made my decisions, I knew my little girl was in heaven and I needed to get myself through it.

I hope this helped, please ask anything. I will do anything I can to help you through this trying time.
Liz

Liz,
You made me feel better by letting me know all of this what you experience. I does help me alot and I really appreciate your sharing.
My doctor told me that the were going to put me to sleep, she said that the process takes only 10 min. who knows how long it exactly takes. You said that yours took about half an hour? Do you know about how long were you sleeping? Do they give you a shot or is it all in IV? My doctor said that this was the better decision because they would clean me out and this may prevent from happening in the future. I hope it does help. She said if I waited for the baby to come out by itself it might be risky and be some complications and if I lose alot of blood there might be a blood transfussion, so I decide with my moms opinion to do the d&c right away. If there is no other thing that we can do for my baby to survive and of they are 100 percent sure my baby is dead then I go for it. I know that my baby is in better hands and God knows why he took him.
You know my mom told me to ask the doctor if they can examine the baby when he died, just like what you said they test the baby and let us know why I miscarriage, so I really want to know what happen? So for sure I will let the doctors know that I want to know what really happen. That makes me feel better so next time if I did something wrong I can avoid it. You know I really wat to plan on another baby soon, but in the other hand I get scared and think that this might happen again. I pray to god that he doesn't let me live this experience again because it's something that I don't want anyone to go through. I think this is the best decision to, because if there's anything else I can do to survive my child then he is in better hands with god. It's just so hard to accept it. My periods had been so irregular ever since so I hope that they don't get worse because as soon as this whole thing happens I will start doing the temps, charting and the green tea, except that I am not sure to take ovulex again, I just have a feeling that it might have been the cause of it. I don't know it seems that I an blaming everything about my miscarriage. Hope that I have better luck and the surgery goes well. I have to plan for my future and take care of my family I love my family especially my 2 year old son he is the best thing and the reason I should live. I will also remember my unborn child this halloween news that was the ugliest day ever in my life.
Did you go home right away or how long did you stayed at the doctor after your d&c.
My doctor told me not to eat or drink anything so I won't do that today at midnight and before the surgery, so I have to avoid anything before the surgery. I have it tomorrow at 1:45p.m. and I will not be coming to work tomorrow so I'll let you guys know on friday what happened?
Thanks for your support Liz, you really made me feel comfortable and what to look for.

~Love, Lili

Also did you went back to the doctor after the d&c for a check up?

Lili,
I'm sorry about your lost :( I'm started to get all teary because I remember going through that pain twice also. Having some of the same feelings as liz had kinda made me teary, I thank god for my little boy, but you never forget the ones you lost....just know that there is no better babysitter than God. He is taking really good care of your angel right now please believe it. I am not going to tell you not to grieve because everyone needs that after loss...take a few days off...keep the faith. As far as pain afterwards lets just put it this way I was well enogh to drive to florida the next day ( even though your not supposed to drive, don't be hardheaded like me) The only pain I felt was "the emptiness" I still remember the first time in 03 I was 18 and me and my husband were dating and I prob shouldn't have been commiting fornication at the time...well anyway I found out I was pregnant I sat on the floor crying my eyes out in the bathroom, a few days later I got better and as the days went on I grew to be happy with the fact that I was going to be a mommy...daydreaming at work about how he/she would look coo smile eat cry...... I grew into being a mommy and about a 4 months later I lost my angel.....at first I didn't know what to do who to turn to and I got so depressed, blaming myself for the donuts I ate, even the loud music I played....the best advice I can give you is to lean on God and the people that love you, make them understand, I honestly believe men feel the same thing, but not quite as intense as us women, this is why I say make them understand....I will pray for your quick recovery, mentally spiritually and physically...if you need someone to talk to email me [email protected] I will always be there for you if you want to chat.

Monica and Nancy I am so excited for you two only a few more weeks and you never know they could come a week early! Ao you better have your bags packed...including the daddy bag! Some of you ladies I am following are also getting closer hold your horses you'll be in their shoes soon enough...:) :) :)
Well you know I have to update you all ofcourse!
Ronnie's doing great, eating the same...I tried stage 1 green beans last week and today he had sweet potatoes stage 1 he grabbed my finger and kept shoving the spoon in his mouth although he missed a few times....he no longer sleeps through the night he wakes up around 3 or 4 am to play. Hubby is fine I get to talk to him twice a day he'll be home on break in JAN... He wants to try for #2 I tell him to wait until he sees how he handles #1 because hey if I were looking at smiley pics all the time minus crying spells, pick me up and don't put me down until I fall asleep, 3 am playtime and I have to work at 9 am I'd be rushing for another one too, I mean I want to ttc again, just a little scared. He sends home more than enough for me and the baby's needs, so I get to work doing something I love which is trendy fashion, I love my new job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's cool working there and my coworkers are the best!!! As well as my manager!!! Well now that I've updated you all.....I want belly shots dang it!

Here's a pic of him 4 am at his playtime as you all know I don't know how to resize so don't get mad at me. :(


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Amanda he is so cute!!!

How do you put the picture in here? I have the 3d shots of the baby you can see exactly what the baby looks like. It's amazining. I just can't figure out how to post them in here.

HELP!!

I don't know about Monica but I am ready. On halloween I was carrying Paige she wouldn't walk to some of the houses she was bouncing on the baby and the baby was kicking back. I am going to have 2 getting up in the middle of the night. I don't know what happen but she is up in the middle of the night again. I wish that I can say it's because of the time change but she was doing it before that. Hopefully soon she starts to sleep through the night again.

Well Ladies I have to get ready for work!!

Have a great day!

Nancy

Lili,

I had a follow up appointment 4 weeks after my d&c. At that time they told me what happened to our baby and also did a check up to see how I was healing. I had no problems healing so I was released to maintain my normal lifestyle. They had told me no intercourse till the follow up to make sure I did not have an infection. I would have been cleared to try again if it would not have been my 3rd miscarriage. They wanted to run a whole lot of tests to try to determine if something else could have been wrong with me. We now knew what caused this miscarriage but the other 2 are still not known.
I am not sure of the exact time on the procedure but you are probably right 10 min or so since for me it was 30 min from the time they wheeled me into the or until the time I was awake (still groggy) in the recovery room. I am fuzzy on exactly what happened with the anestisia but I believe they gave me an iv, normally that is how it is done. I honestly did not feel a thing. I was lying there one min looking at everyone in the or and the next I was with my husband. You will be fine, I am sure of it. You will not remember anything nor will you feel anything to do with the surgery.

I am thinking about you today and praying for you. Please let us know how you are doing when you can.

Take care,
Liz

Amanda: He is soooo precious! He seems to be a very happy & active baby. My baby seems to be that way right now in my womb, so we will see how he is when he makes his grand debut in December......

Nancy: YES, I can't wait until my due date!! I am kind of hoping that he will arrive a week or two earlier however, so that I can enjoy him during Christmas & not be in the hospital on that day........Everytime my son or daughter sits on my lap playfully, baby Joseph always starts to kick them. I guess that he is just marking his territory already......

Babybop: That IS a coincidence that you are going to a babyshower on this Sunday at 3pm. My babyshower is this Sunday at 4pm at a restaurant off of Ashford-Dunwoody Rd. I can't wait!!
Also, By the way, I no longer live in the Stone Mountain area.....We moved to Cobb county on 8/1/2006. We were having some issues with the home that we were leasing.....so we now live in the Cobb County area.....

Take Care ladies & I will let everyone know how my babyshower went when I post again on next week...

Much Luv To Everyone!
Monica ;)

Hello Everyone:

Monica I hope you have a BALL at your shower and I will waiting to hear the details and about all the cute little clothes baby Joseph will receive. Have Fun!

Lili: Of course my heart goes out to you and it also served as a reality check for me not to take God's blessing me with my lil boy for granted so while I'm praying for you I will be praying for me to be even more grateful. Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal - we are all here for you.


Nancy - I hope someone can tell you how to post the picture I would love to see your little one.


God bless all -