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Okay ladies....I logged off, but then I had to log right back on because I need some serious advice from you guys....
I was reading the previous posts about some of you being very moody & getting easily irritated......and OH MY GOSH, I too have been that way; especially towards my husband.
I tell you;lately, I have been SO FRUSTRATED with my husband. I mean every little thing that he does OR DOESN'T DO......I get extremely irritated about it.
Ladies, I am just trying to keep it real here.....
He is soooo nice to me, but he irritaes me SO MUCH. It was so bad this morning that I almost told him that I wanted a divorce & That Is Crazy!!!
I heard about the mood swings during the first & third trimesters of pregnancy, but I didn't realize that it would be so bad; especially towards my husband.
I would never want to divorce my husband....ESPECIALLY NOW, but I have been so mean to him, and he has been so nice to me.
I don't know what to do....
Is anyone else experiencing this? or do you know someone that is going through this?.......Please let me know so that I won't continue to think that I am just losing my mind.....
Thanks for your help,
Monica :-\
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Hi Monica,
I know exactly what you mean. I think mine is not just hormones but also being worried. My husband is wonderful and our marriage is fine but things that I just to would have ignored – I just can’t right now. I think I am more emotional and moody because of hormones but I think I am also afraid of what is coming – if that makes sense – and I am lashing out. I see how much responsibility I have over bills, the house, major decisions, etc. and then I know how the baby is going to be more of my responsibility then it is his and I just get so angry that I have to do so much and I am supposed to be grateful when he does a just a little bit to help.
There is a comedian that does a skit about a woman spending all day cutting the grass in the yard with a pair of scissors and how the husband yells out the door at her “Honey – I put this ashtray away” and how proud he is that he “helped”. I guess that is what makes the moodiness worse – that we work so hard, we have so much work ahead, and even though they “try” to help – it isn’t enough. We are doing everything we used to do, plus now we are tired, we pee all the time, we are gaining weight, we feel fat, our breasts hurts, our faces break out and we are supposed to be happy and glowing all the time even though we are emotional and a little scared about being a mother.
I don’t think you are crazy – I think you probably just have a lot on your mind and the extra hormones don’t help. I’m trying to talk to my husband about it more. I lost it the other night and did actually talk to him about how scared and worried I am about how our lives are changing. I didn’t go into all the things I am irritated at him about but I think it helped some because he said he didn’t know I was scared or worried. It isn’t going to make you less emotional overnight but it might help him to understand a little bit of what is going on in your head.
Sorry for the rambling but I have been feeling like I was crazy too. I can hear myself getting crazy and crying and I don’t even recognize myself sometimes. I am sure it will get better and we will adjust. But you aren’t crazy!
Charity
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Monica: Sweetie, I am going through it now...that's part of what made me suspect I am pregnant.
I told my husband to bear with me and that I don't mean 75% of what I say. My patience is so thin lately that I spent the night at my cousins house this past saturday to get away from him.
He understands but we should be careful because we don't want them to feel left out or abandoned, which is common in a marriage when the baby comes.
You know what I do when I start to feel like gauging his eyes out? I take ten deep breaths and count to ten, and then I go sit in a separate room and read or watch tv for about 30 minutes. After that little regiment, I then tell him I am sorry for snapping at him and tell him what frustrated me and we kiss and make up. BUT if I don't know what it is that's bothering me, I just tell him its my hormones and I am sorry. As long as you express whats going on, whether its you or him, he'll feel a little better or atleast understand a little more that you still love him but you're going thru something thats new to both of you.
I'm no expert......but that's whats worked for me the past two weeks.
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Charity: That is an excellent point! I didn't even factor in the responsibility that we have and the fact that our lives will be permanently changing drastically.
I was angry at him on Tuesday because he didn't put the trash out in time for the garbage men, and we have to wait for next week now. His excuse was he was too tired to get out of bed. I lost it! TIRED??? I AM PREGNANT, I AM TIRED ALL THE TIME. YET I STILL WORK A 9 HOUR DAY, COME HOME AND DO MORE WORK, COOK, CLEAN, AND EVERYTHING ELSE. THE FEW CHORES YOU HAVE, YOUR TOO TIRED FOR? I just lost it completely. So much so that I was crying as I was yelling at him. He looked at me like I had three heads. And then he apologized later and told me that he understands what I mean, blah blah blah. I am almost positive we'll have this same fight in another month or so about leaving the toilet seats up or not changing the tissue paper.
But the one major thing that dawned on me a few days ago and I cried about it....was the fact that it will never be just he and I again. Maybe on special occasions, but we'll never have just us to worry about. Packing the car up for weekend road trips to Orlando or S Carolina won't be as easy.
I guess you have to give up good things to receive great things.
Monique
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Monique,
I think we had a similar fight recently! I know they are going through a lot too but if they can find the energy for their sports, then I think they can find the energy to do more “adult” things.
I got sad the other night too thinking that it would never be just the two of us again. We planned for this baby and want the baby but it now feels like we didn’t have enough time together. Silly I guess! Though I turned around and got mad at him right after that. I told him what I was thinking and he got a little teary and said he had never thought of it that way. Well, that made me mad because I realized I was thinking of the baby as a little person that will be part of our family and change our lives forever and he was thinking of the baby as a sweet little baby that was magically coming to our house and someone was magically going to take care of unless he wanted to show the baby off or go toy shopping. I KNOW that isn’t fair but in my hormone induced state – that it how I reacted.
~ Sigh ~ I am only 2 ½ months – I am going to have to get a better sense of humor about this!
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Thank you so much Charity & Babybop for all of your inspired input!! Wow, that really helps to know that I am not going through this alone......
Charity....YES, you are right about what you were saying about responsibility...
The other day, my husband knocked on the bathroom door and told me that he had just finished up the laundry & that he was about to start cooking......
Oh my gosh; I rolled my eyes so hard behind the door & told him....."Great; do you expect to get a gold star on your forehead now? I have been doing THAT for the last 10 years....BIG DEAL!"
I know that was mean, but that was exactly how I felt....
Anyways, I guess my biggest stress point is that I too am the financial breadwinner of the household, and I also worry about how things are going to continue to run smoothly when I am off of work to have the baby. I just feel as if the bulk of the financial pressure is on me ALOT; and that kind of makes me mad because I feel that I should be able to stay at home for awhile with our newborn baby to be a real mother without ANY financial worries during that very special time.
Just thinking about that makes me REALLY MAD; so I have given all of my cares over to God......and I will just have to wait and see what transpires during that time....
I figure that if God can bless me with "the miracle of life" like He has, then He can CERTAINLY provide for our household financially......After all, He is my source.....and not my current job.
I just have to remember that!
Babybop & Charity......Thank you so much for your input!
Luv ya,
Monica ;)
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Girls,
Hang in there. I know what you all mean but sometimes it's not our fault. it's something normal I guess and the DH's have to hang in there and cope with us because it's something that we can't avoid. I feel sorry for them at times because they want to help us and we just can't handle all that. thats funny poor DH.
Monica, I feel sorry for your DH, how mean...lol But to bad there's nothing that we can do about it. Just hang in there your almost due lucky girl. When is your due date?
Take Care
~Lili
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Hey guys, couldn't help but jumping in.
Don't forget everyhting you have done to get pregnant. It's a lot of stress. So, give yourselves a break but also count your blessings. As you can see on this site, so many women are trying and failing. We are among the lucky ones to be pg. At the same time, give your DH a break too! It's hard for them to relate to all the changes going on on your bodies. And those hormones, have a life on their own! The DH are trying their best, I admit sometimes not enough, but it's up to us, women, to let them know how we feel. Communication is very important, especially when you feel scared or overwhelmed with the prospect of a new life.
One more thing, life is too precious and too short. Pick your battles, some things that your DH does may not be your way, just think for one minute: is anybody's life in danger? Is it worth a fight or argument?
I know the hormones take your mind and bodies over, but step back for a minute before jumping on your DH case!
All the best to you.
Fiso
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Fiso,
Thats right on what you said. I agree with you totally. We need to control ourselves and try not to put all that to our DH.
So you are due anytime now. I wish you the best hang in there and best wishes. let us know how it goes.
~Lili
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Congrats soon2bemommy on your little boy!!!!! yeah!!!
Looks like I am going to be the only surprise of what sex am I having. To the girls that haven't had thier magical ultrasound are you going to find out!!?!!
I am glad that I was able to tell my story about seeing red. I know that I am not alone now. I don't know what comes over me.
I do have to say I am one of the lucky ones where I don't get upset because my DH doesn't help. My gosh I don't know what I would do with out him. I pick up Paige after work so he cooks dinner, one of us cleans it up the other gives her a bath. He is responsible for the garbage and knows if it's paper or recycles week. He goes down and does the laundry. I know girls I found the GOLDEN husband. He really does help me so much. Sometimes 50 / 50 sometimes I think 60 / 40. I mean my basketball story I told he didn't get mad he let me vent it was like it didn't bother him. I am not going to say we don't fight because we do. Mainly my big thing is I know that I told him something and his resonse is YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT. It's little things that drive me crazy. Things that I need him to remember I have to treat him like a child and say repeat what I just said. It kills me becasue you ask him a question about baseball or football from 20 years ago and he can tell you what field they were at how the play happen and who was involved.
I have noticed that when he does something instead of saying do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on. I say things like thank you I really appreciate you helping. It makes life so much easier since we are both working. I sat down with him and told him once that I need help that we both work very hard to get were we are. That I can't do everything. He lives here too and needs to keep things clean. My thing at one time was that people were coming over(you know guys and when they use the bathroom) and the bathroom needed to be cleaned. He said what is the big deal. I told him that they may all know that you are the one that messes up the bathroom but they think my Gosh she doesn't clean the bathroom.
When I was younger and my mother would leave me chores to do I would spend time after school 30 minutes one day an hour another day doing the chores. I would proud of what I did(my mother is super cleaner, no one could clean as good as she does) so even though I spent and hour cleaning the living room it wasn't the same to her. Just as girls when our hubbies so something it's not the same. She use to say it's nice but I didn't do... After a while my thing was I took my time to do this and she wasn't happy with what I did so why bother. Then of course I got in a little bit of trouble for not doing my chores. My response was if you aren't truely gong to appreciate it why bother. She saw my side of it and now our joke is that no one could clean as well as her but she aprreciated what i did do. I remembered that and I think that is why I do that with DH.
Well ladies I have an apt today with the Dr so I will update you later on baby and myself.
Have a wonderful day Ladies and Babies!!
Nancy
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Goodmorning,
Fiso & Nancy; you both are correct & I totally agree with you concerning the mood swings & the husbands.
That is why I brought up my story about my DH doing the laundry, cooking dinner & me making that mean comment. I shared that little story because that is not something that I would normally do. My normal response to something like that is....."Thank you so much baby; I really appreciate your help", and my husband knows that.....That is why he was so surprised when I made that mean comment to him; and he said "Yep, it MUST be those hormones"......while he continued to do what he was doing.
My hubby helps me as much as he can, but it is just the little things that normally would not irritate me about him; that has been irritating me lately, as well as the financial concerns that I have.
This too shall pass however, just like everything else in life.....so I won't continue to fret over it.
Wow Fiso; it looks like you are due TODAY....Wow!!! Are you excited?! Are you having any contractions?!!!!
Nancy; Good luck with your appointment today....My 30 week check-up is on Wednesday. After that I will have to start going every 2 weeks the doctor said.....
Have a Great Day!
Monica ;)
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Fiso,
you are due anytime now. Keep us posted I wish you the best and God Bless you and your lil one.
~Lili
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Monica: you know that song...."When Jeeeeesus iiiissss my portion.....a cooonstant friieeend is heeeee......"
I had to emphasize as though I were really singing, sorry! LOL!
Charity: I am only six weeks and I've already had to spend the night at my cousin's house. What will become of us when I am six months? Totally agree with you.
I am really tired of DINNER always being my responsibility. I want to come home and relax, take a nap. I walk in the door: "Honey, I took out the chicken to defrost it for you"....how nice. Now why don't you finish the F$%#!@ process and cook it! Sorry, but sometimes it takes everything in me not to curse him! and I really don't have a potty mouth. He brings out the best and the worst in me sometimes.
Ladies: I have an important question......First here's the story: Yesterday at around 4:30, I went to the ladies room. Upon cleaning up down there, I noticed that there was a light pink/beige tint to my discharge. Please tell me this is normal at 6.6 weeks. I am not really worried but should I be?
Monique
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Hi Girls,
Hope that you all are doing well. In my side this past weekend I got so scared because it happen to me twice when I went to the bathroom and pee then I clean myself and saw something unormal in the toilet tissue. For some reason I thought it was blood, but it looked like something brown, almost pinkesh. I even showed my mom to get a second oppinion and see sais that it looked normal it wasn't blood. But I am still scared because I didn't had this in my first pregnancy and this worries me alot. Today my insurance should be effective and hopefully I receive all the necessary paper work so I can chose my doctor asap and make an appointment right away. I want to make sure that my baby is ok.
My mom talked to a girl who she has had two M/C and she was a good person for advice. She told me if I had any pain in my belly with bleeding and I told her that no so she said that there wasn't much to worry about. But I need to go and check just in case. I am keeping positive and hope that everything comes out ok with my baby.
I will keep you posted and let you know what happens. I was just thinking if this thing got worst and felt some pain with bleeding I would go to the hospital right away, but thank god nothing like that happen. I am feeling ok but I am worry and will be until I go and see the doctor.
Thanks girls and hope that everyone is doing great.
Monique,
I guess we are in the same situation. I got the same thing and Hope that it's nothing bad. It wasn't blood at all right but it was something weired! I know what you mean and I got the same thing and got sp scared. But that it's something normal now that I know that it happen to you to. God bless our babies.
Let me know what you find out?
~Lili
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Try not to worry about the pink/brown discharge – though I know that is easy for me to say! I had the same thing when I was 6 or 7 weeks. They tested my blood and my hormones weren’t doubling – which totally freaked me out. Next they did an ultrasound and the doctor found a small hemorrhage in my uterus BUT EVERYTHING WAS OK!!! He said that it is very common to have a small hemorrhage in the early stages of pregnancy. He told me to take it easy for the rest of my first trimester, to not lift anything, no jogging, no real exercise, no horses, no bending over a lot, etc. I did what he said and the spotting stopped in about 1 week. In 2 weeks, I go back for a follow-up ultrasound to make sure the hemorrhage has healed but they think everything is fine.
So try to take it easy and just get in to see the doctor or nurse when you can.
I will keep you and your babies in my prayers!
Charity
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Charity,
thanks for your support. I do worry because I didn't have this in my first pregnancy, but I am always thinking positive, I am getting closer to go see a doctor. Thank God.
God Bless all of us!
~Lili
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