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Yeah for you Meridith :) It always made me feel better when we were being seen by the RE. At least I knew we had a little, and I mean a little, control over the infertility situation. I am still nervous about our appt. in 2 wks. I have so many questions that I hope he will be able to answer.

I agree about the timing aspect. It seems that my time schedule and everyone else's time schedule never mesh :-\ I always had glitches whenever we were dealing w/ meds. so it always pushed the time table back for procedures, which frustrated me to no end, not to mention the wait after m/c. Of course that never stops the calculating in my mind :)

I am happy for you and sending good thoughts and prayers your way :)

Hi Meg

Thanks for responding and your good thoughts. How are things going with you now? Do you have a direct step to go in? I know the glitches are awful. Must be that lack of control staring us in the face. lol

Have a great weekend, Meg :)

Meridith

Merideth, how great to see you are going to do IVF! So you have to wait until june for dh sa? I'm glad that the time table works for you. What is icsi? Just wondering...cassandra :)

Meredith, I went to see an RE for the first time today. I had done a few clomid cycles and 2 IUI's with injectibles. I was in the middle of my third and nothing was happening, so my OB referred me to the RE.

We are now going the IVF route. I am nervous. I have a partially blocked tube and PCO, so the RE believes that is why IUI is not working for me. I have to go on b/c and then Lupron and injectible FSH 4 times the dosage I was on for IUI. There goes my sanity!! Doctor is looking for 10 eggs for retrieval, to implant 3 embryos.

This could all happen by the 1st week in June. It's exciting, but scary as hell. I went from feeling sorry for myself to being so angry all day today.

Good luck to you with your IVF and keep us posted.

Sue

Hi guys...

Cassandra, I'm happy to be going forward! ICSI is when they inject a single sperm into an egg rather than let them fertilize alone in a dish since dh has so few sperm, that wouldn't work for us.

Sue, thank you for your well wishes. I know how you feel about being angry about IVF. On one hand, it's great that it's available but on the other, it takes all the control from us. It sounds like you are well on your way and actually ahead of me! We will meet back up with my RE June 7 and get my protocol and order the meds, then the cycle begins for us.
Depending on when we both start bcp's we could be cycle buddies!
I will keep you informed only if you keep me posted on how things are going with you. ;)
Talk soon, have a great weekend

Meridith

Meridith,
Wow, the ball is really rolling for you! I wish you much luck and tons of babydust. I know what you mean about the timing/control issue. That is a big one for me. It is always something huh? Wait wait wait!

I wish for you a wonderful miracle like you had with your son!

Sue,
I know how you feel with IVF. I was so hoping one of my IUIs would work to avoid all the IVF stuff. You always know that IVF is an option looming in the background........and it is comforting to know it is an option. But when you are actually there, you know this is the final last straw and it is really scary. That is how I feel about it anyway. I was angry and bitter about it too. It's a lot to go through and no one understands unless they have gone through this infertility process themselves. There are many unknowns and that is the frustrating part about it. You will be in my prayers that things will be easy for you and you will have a successful IVF on the first try!

Take care ladies!

Wantsbaby2

Meredith, I am glad your ball is starting to roll with your ivf. Sorry about the wait. It seems to always be one thing or another to get in the way. If we had any control on this we would do it "perfect" the first time. I am waiting to hear what the donors schedule is and so I have limited control on my next IVF.

Sue, Good luck with your IVF also. We might all be doing one in June. Ha!

Wantsbaby2. The only thing I like about IVF is the fact that we know that the sperm and egg actually meet an a real live embryo is in the uterus. Everything else is a pain. Good luck.

Meredith and Sue- Congrats on the start of IVF! I am currently in my tww (ivf w/ icsi) and can relate to many of the emotions that you two are going through.

I lost both of my fallopian tubes and one ovary due to a botched surgery. I had and still have a ton of anger in regards to this....but with IVF, I feel like I am taking some control over my infertility (if that makes sense?) With every positive outcome, I felt less and less infertile. (ovary responded well to hormones, eggs being fertilized, etc...) I am finally feeling like somethings are going our way. I feel extremely fortunate that all has gone well so far....I know this is not the norm. It is still scarry as hell, but I feel such power in knowing that we are doing something about my infertility.

I know there is a high likely hood of stumbles and dissapointments ahead of all of us, but I think we all should be applauded for taking such brave steps. I know I have learned that I am capable of handling more than I ever thought I could.

Keep us posted on your progress. Buckets of Baby Dust to you.

Thanks, ladies. I guess my feelings are related to the fact that this is it. The RE told me that I wasn't going to get pg on my own or via IUI. I know IVF has good success rate (70% I believe). All the meds are pretty scary. I had a tough time doing the one shot...now I will be doing 3 per day... oh well, it will only be for a week or two. I am taking an aspirin a day now and hope to get my AF by the first week in May to start the process.

Take care ladies, and I will pray for a pg in June for all of us!!

Sue

Hi again everyone!

This seems like the time of year for some of us! We are all embarking on a journey that is 1 step forward, 2 steps back. We will get there but we can wait out the delays together, right? ;)

Sue, 44 and wantsbaby2- Maybe we can be cycle buddies...We are all doing similar things but with a twist, whether it be donor eggs, antagon cycle or what, we will learn from each other. I am looking forward to being able to relate to someone who knows what's involved. Cassandra can be the poster child since she just realized her success and is kind enough to stay on and keep us updated.

Elizabeth, how exciting about your 2ww! When is your test? I will be looking for that!

Wantsbaby2, what is the latest with you?

Have a great weekend, everyone!
Meridith

And so, with the start of the wheel starts the dreams. ::)

Last night, I dreamed I was in a cycle and I was driving in my car, waiting for a call on my cell phone to tell me when to come in for some big event...although it wasn't spoken, I was thinking retrival or transfer. I got a vibrating on my phone (which I don't have) and I pulled over to look at the text message. (of which I don't have either lol) and the screen read: Cycle Cancelled. >:(

Whenever anything life changing comes into play with me, I tend to dream about it. (usually negatively)

I internalize everything for some reason and that's another reason why I love this group. I can speak my mind about fears or whatever and hopefully this will lessen these crazy dreams. (they need to have slapping your own forehead smilie)

Have a great rest-of-the-weekend, everyone!

Meridith

Meredith - I hope your dream was only that and not a premonition. I think cancellation is all of our biggest fear. I hope all goes well and the ivf goes as planned. Take care and baby dust.

Meridith,
I know how you feel. My biggest fear last time we tried IVF was not stimulating well. That is what happened and it was cancelled. It is a terrible thing to happen to us girls when we are all geared up to go and our eyeballs are floating in meds! I wish you much luck on this cycle. I will say prayers for you!

I just saw your post on what is happening next for me. Hopefully we will try IVF again in June or July. I had some testing done and I am waiting for results on that. I might need another procedure depending on the results. I am trying to be very patient, but June seems to be taking forever to get here.

My dh and I are just tryng to keep busy. I have been working in the yard a lot lately. We have been doing many home improvement projects and we are going to paint the outside of our house here soon!! :o I figure we might as well do it now because once I start the meds I will be of no use! All these projects are keeping my mind off things which is a good! It kind of stinks, because I feel like I have finally recovered from all the hormones I took in Jan. and Feb. It feels so good to have energy and be back to being myself again. We don't look forward to being in a funk again do we?!!

Wantsbaby2

Thank you, 44. I hope it was just my negativity and not a premonition too. How are things going with you? Any news on cycle schedules of your donor and you and if it will be a go?

Wantsbaby2-We might be cycle buddies since I wont even be getting my protocol until June 7th and that's only if all the tests come out ok. I know just what you mean about being patient. It is hard for me but I guess we know the drill and we have to preserve sanity when we can cause Lord knows once the meds start, all sanity goes out the window!
That's great about your home projects! That is a nice way to keep busy and it adds to your home value and just the joy of living in it. :) What color are you going to do? We did a lot of outside things last year, painting included and we decided on yellow with slate blue shutters. It looks nice.
I would love to hear more of your tests and results and steps if you ever care to share. I am doing my cycle day 21 and then day 3 testing plus the saline u/s and dh has one more SA to do, then we wait for June 7 to meet back with the RE.
I think I might change my personal message on here to, "Hurry up and wait!" lol

Take care,
Meridith

Meridith,
Your house sounds really nice. We are painting the house white. It matches the white on the brick in the front of the house. The roof and gutters are dark brown so we are going with brown shutters. Right now there are so many colors going on with the outside of our house....it just doesn't look right. When we bought the house we feel in love with the newly renovated inside, but the outside needs so much help!!! We hope to fix that though. I guess when you buy a house, you buy trouble! What other projects have you done to your home?

My tests and procedures have nothing to do with infertility. They found abnormalities in my last pap. (Lucky me) They biopsed and I am waiting now for the results. (Anyday now) If it is too bad I will need the procedure where they freeze the cervical cells, so I am a little nervous about all of this. This all had to rear its ugly little head right when we are ready to procede to IVF. (Of course) So I am trying to remain calm and take it step by step. There is nothing else I can do right? Has anyone else on these boards had this done? Any tips or advice would be appreciated!

Thanks for listening. It really helps. What would I do without you ladies?!!!

Wantsbaby2

Wantsbaby2
That must be a little scary not knowing exactly what's going to happen yet. I hope you get those results soon. My sister had an abnormal pap and had a piece of the cervix taken out and it turned out to be fine. I hope that is the case with you too so you can start the IVF!

We have just done the outside of the house so far. Painting, digging new flower and plant beds, planting shrubs and trees. We have a beautiful flower bed by the border of our property in front that people always stop to admire. We tried to fill it with unusual plants. Some with color, some with green only. Our next project (well, mostly dh's) is to create a new walkway in front. We have this ugly straight across textured brick thing...but that's coming out and from the company dh works for, we got our hands on the original cobblestones that Boston streets used to be made from. My dh is a certified arborist and he works for a company that has many contracts in Boston. When a company dug up the cobblestones, he gave piles and piles to dh's company so he was able to obtain some for our walkway. They actually have grooves in them from wagon wheels! Very cool. So we hope to lay those this summer but our retaining wall out back is beginning to slide so that may be more important. It all depends on time and weather, I guess.
It's good that the inside of your house is updated, at least you don't have to worry about that!
As far as ttc, I went for my day 21 bw yesterday but I don't expect to know the results from that or any of my tests until June 7.
Hope you have a great day!

Meridith