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Hello Ladies,

Deslyn, I hope things are still going positive for you. BABY DUST!

Darcie, Great news. I'm glad to hear about you BFP.

Shannon, I took .50 mg of Lupron for 10 days, .25 mg Lupron for the next 11 day. Took 4 amps Bravelle and 2 amps Repronex for 2 days and then went down to 2 amps Bravelle and 2 amps Repronex for 9 days.

Sunflower, I'm crossing my fingers for your Monday test and am sending you tons of baby dust. You're positive words to Holly I think touched us all. You seem to be such a source of strength for this group and we would like nothing more than to return the favor. Know that we are all sending you our strong positive thoughts and prayers.

As for me, I did my ER today. Everything went very well. They retreived 11 eggs from each ovary. I find out tomorrow how many fertilized. Thursday I start the dreaded Progesterone shots and Friday is when they perform the ET. I'm a little sore today and have slept most of my day away which felt strange, but all and all it was a good day.

Good Night, and a showering of baby dust to all.

Helena S-
Glad to hear all went well with your ER. Take it easy the next few days. Keep us posted on your fertilization report.

Thanks for the support as well. I truly believe it is worth it to pray. You are right God does not judge and he listens all the time. Thank you for supporting me as I have shared a big part of my faith on this board. It is wonderful to have such supportive people here to keep us moving along as well! I will keep you all posted!

Thank you, thank you, thank you ladies for all your positivism (is that even a word????). As you all know, bfn's are a real bummer, but this one for me was just devastating because I really thought in my heart of hearts that this would be the answer to our problems. And maybe it will be in time--I don't know, but the let-down was massive.

I also profoundly appreciated both Asunflower and HelenaS's outlook on this whole process. I do pray and I share many of the spiritual beliefs that you both expressed. At the end of the day, pregnancy and the miracle of life is truly out of our control. We just have to hang in there and believe....

Today is a new day and after my day of tears and disbelief yesterday, I know that I am not ready to give up on having a child yet--I am somewhat defeated but I am still encouraged that it could happen. I will do what we ALL have done... I will pick up the pieces of my broken spirit and push on. The pain subsides, the sun shines again, and we persevere on. We have an appt w/our RE on aug. 14 to discuss where to go from here, so we'll see what insight he has to pass along. I really appreciate how open everyone is on this thread. I really needed your assurance yesterday and in true fashion, you did not let me down. I only hope in the future I can be as much help to you as you've all been to me.

Forty-four--I think in a previous post you asked about my hcg levels? I think you are referring to the m/c I had in March. My first beta was 45, it (almost) doubled to 88 after 48 hours. My RE didn't order them to be checked again until my 6wk u/s when I didn't have a fetal heartbeat or visible sac. My levels then were only in the 800's but they continued to rise through week 7 (topped out around 1100); I m/c at 8wks naturally. I did get to see a heartbeat, though, which was very special. My RE told me he had never seen a heartbeat in a fetus with corresponding beta numbers so low (around 1000 at the time--7w1d), so I hope that any future children I have will be as much of a fighter as that one appeared to be. I hope your numbers doubled and that things will work for you. You have been through far more than myself and you deserve all the baby dust in the world!

Can't wait to hear your fertilization report HelenaS! You too shansy! Also, good luck on your test Asunflower on Monday--I will be praying for you and positive results.

Sorry for the long post--talk to you ladies soon. I have a family reunion and wedding anniversary to attend to this weekend, so I'll check in soon.
Holly by Golly

Hello Ladies,

My fertilzation report came into day. Out of 22 eggs harvested, 15 matured and 12 fertilized. The RE was very pleased with the results. I go in for ET this Friday, and then I get to begin the 2WW (this was another acronym that took me some time to figure out.) I'm excited, nervous, nuts, etc. Holly, I'm going to borrow some of your strength, if you don't mind, to get me through these next 2 weeks.

PS on this tread, positivism IS a word! A darn good one ;D!

Holly- Glad to hear that you are on the road to positivism! I thought the same thing that my 2nd time was going to be it but it was still just another learning experience and a chance to build up my faith! Don't loose hope. If you really feel that you are destined to give birth to a baby (like me) then don't give up. Take your RE's words on the 14th and learn from this cycle. It can only get better! Keep us posted!

Helena- You got great results! 12 is a great number! Take it easy these next few days and stay positive! It will happen for you! Have faith in the Lord's plan and he will show it to you!

Hi everyone and thank you all for your kind thoughts and I wish everyone the strength they need to get through this craziness and get that baby in your arms.

My HCG did not double it went down to 22 from 44 so I stop my meds, get my period and go from there. Husband is out of town til friday so this is hard to go through. s

Forty Four I have not chatted with you in the past but I have been reading your posts and I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am that this did not work out. I really was cheering you on and thought after everything you had been through that it really did look like this was going to be a good cycle for you. I have seen in all your posts that you have great strength and that you have already proved what a survivor you are so I know you will get through this disappointment but I hope you know that if you need it we are all her to help in any way you need.

I do not have quite the depth of faith that I see from so many others (I envy them in this regard) so I am not as comfortable saying this all is God's plan but I do believe things happen for a reason - it's just sometimes very difficult to figure out why we have to learn our lessons the way we do. I think HelanaS put it perfectly in her comments a few days ago to Holly. I also think Holly's response today was wonderful and I think positivism should absolutely be the new mantra.

I am just going into my first IVF cycle and am so scarred of failure. I really appreciate all of you sharing your stories, both the good and the bad, I think only in learning from each other can we figure out how to navigate this journey and survive it regardless of the outcome.

I am so sorry your DH is out of town right now I know that makes a difficult time even worse and I know we can not give you the comfort he can but if there is anything we can do remember we are all here to support you.

(PS In my comments I mean no disrespect to those of you that have such a strong and healthy sense of your own personal religion. As I said I truly envy that ability to have blind faith. My flaw is that I am overly analytical and question everything (“a doubting Thomas” so to speak) and thus have always struggled with the concept of faith. I hope I have not offended anyone as that was not my intent at all)

Fourty Four- Sorry to hear your news. I can't believe that you have to go it alone. Stay strong and as always push on. But don't forget to take time to cry and get it out of your system. Sometimes being alone is good for that. Just know that we are here and I truly sympathize with you as I have gone through the same exact thing except for mine at least went up at first instead of down! Your time is coming, just have faith and believe!

Dear Forty-Four and Holly: you have my deepest empathy....I am very impressed by your strenghts and beliefs and see all the positive energy flowing in these kind threads....

well....here I go tomorrow for transfer back....
Back in Jan, the IVF cycle resulted in 11 eggs, 3 immatrue, 8 ICSI'ed, 6 fertilized and 5 transferred (8,8,7,7 4 divisions and looked non-fragmented as far as I could tell) and one made a pregnancy (then MC at WK8 most sadly). This was with fresh sperm.

This cycle results in 11 eggs, 3 immature, 8 ICSI'ed and 4 fertilized (ON my DH's birthday!!). This is with frozen sperm. I believe all 4 embroyos will be transferred tomorrow. I'll see the picture of the embroyos then. I am keeping positive, strong and cool. MUCH kind thoughts and baby dust to all. Diana

FortyFour, I'm truly sorry to hear your news. I think I read that you have one adoptive daughter. I have a neice that was adopted by a very wonderful family. I see the joy and fulfillment she brings them and it solidifies my belief that there are many ways to become a Mommy. It just takes one child to make a woman a mother, and you clearly know that joy. I'm sorry your DH is out of town, but I sure he's hurting to see you too. You sound like a strong person, so come heck or high water you'll find a way to get that baby in your arms.

Lila, welcome! This is a great place to be. This is my first IVF cycle as well and these women are lighting rods for strengh and support.

Diana, it sounds like our cycles are 1 day apart and you and I will be enduring the 2WW together. I'll be rooting for you and thinking sticky thoughts--wait, that didn't sound very good. You know what I mean thought. Enjoy the 24 hours of bed rest and the following 48 hours of mellow living. It's actually a bit of a treat. Think about it, when are we ever ordered to not do a darn thing! Yippee!

BABY DUST TO ALL!

You are all so wonderful and your kind words help me to cry and get the sadness out of me. Sometimes I wonder if God is trying to tell me I am not meant to be a "natural mother and I am not listening". My husband really wants to try the last of the frozen and then another donor and then go for adoption. If I do all that for him we will definetly adopt. There are so many children without homes out there.

Lila - welcome to the group and remember that there alot of good stories and alot of success stories here it just hard to foucs on that when you are nervous. I am not strongly religous either but feel that this is all for a reason.

Baby dust to all. After I get my period I will go right into another FET. We have 8 embryos left.

Thanks for the welcomes.

44: I really am amazed by your strength. There is no way with that kind of character and commitment that you will not be a mother again some day, hopefully it will be soon. I hope your DH knows how lucky he is to be with you - you are obviously a very kind and loving soul.

How soon before you can jump back in again and do the next FET? Sorry if that is a silly question I am still learning. I am 38 and we are going to try and do this with my eggs but if that does not proceed too well I am trying to learn what would be involved if we go to the next step of donor eggs and FETs.

HelanaS I did not realize you were also about to go into your transfer in 2 days - good luck.

Thanks for including me

Fortyfour, I'm so so sorry about your news. You'll be in my thoughts as you go into the second FET.

Teri

Forty-Four - I am so sorry to hear about your news. :-[ I can tell as well as all of the other ladies that have posted that you are a strong woman and will persevere through this. I agree that it must make one question what is God's message, but hopefully in time, the message will be revealed. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping you are able to stand back up and progress forward.
It sounds as if you already are with looking ahead to your FET. I wish you nothing but goodness out of all of this sorrow.

-Shannon

Hi again,

Well, I have been trekking to the hospital each day this week for u/s and b/w. I still have 24 follies and they are varying in size from 9-17 mm. Does anyone know what happens if one gets larger than the rest of the pack? Will it try to ovulate on its own?

My RE is lowering my dose of Gonal-F to 75 units tonight b/c he said my E2 is too high at 2029. He wanted it at 2000 by the end of the stimming. The nurse said my ER may be on Sunday so I would trigger tomorrow night. It seems to be moving fast as I started Gonal-F just last Friday. Just curious as to how many days the rest of you ladies stimmed before your trigger shots?? Also, what were your E2 levels at and how many follicles? I was under the impression that each follicle should = 200 E2.

I am feeling very bloated and SORE. I have a blood vessel on my left ovary that the nurse was poking at today to see if she could move it for accessibility and she definitely moved it!! Another question I have for all of you that have already experienced ER is, what meds did they put you on? I picked up my prescription today and I almost fell down the bag was so heavy! (OK, I am dramatizing a bit), but there was Darvocet, Valium, Amoxicillian, Medrol, and the dreaded progesterone shots all ready to go for me.

Hope everyone is hanging in there,
Shannon