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Topic: surrogacy with friend (Read 1056 times) |
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calico
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My best friend has offered to be a gest. surrogate for my husband and I. Her husband is worried about her having postpartum depression after leaving the hospital without a baby. How common is this? My mother has also offered to do the same for us. She is 56 and in Excellent health, very active. I just don't know if the chances are better with someone younger like my friend who is 30. I know that you hear about older women who have been through menopause having success with pregnancy. Just wondering if anyone has any input ont this.
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tiggerpounce418
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Calico,
I don't really have any advice on this. What is the cause of your infertility? Have you exhausted all other attempts at conceiving yourself? I assume you have. It's great that you have such a supportive friend and mother, who would offer this. I would be a little nervous about the friend maybe having a change of heart later, and wanting to keep the baby. That would be a big heart ache for you. As far as your mom, because of her age, it would be a high risk pregnancy. I'm not even sure if she could get pregnant, if menopause has occurred. Good luck to you.
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WantsBaby2
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Calico,
I have not looked into surrogacy as an option for us. I have a wonderful friend who has offered to do the same for us as well if it comes to that. I cried when she told me. What great friends we have! We are lucky to have such special people in our lives!
I am not sure about your mom though. I would get some advice from doctors about this. I know there was that woman who did donor egg at age 57 and gave birth to twins, so it can happen.
I suppose your friend would be at risk for post partum depression if she has had it before. I assume she has had children of her own and suffered from this. Good luck with your decision!
Wantsbaby2
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38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
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Fortyfour
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It is so nice for them to offer to help. I am sure the friend has considered how she would feel after delivery. You can all get counseling to see if it is really something all parties can handle emotionally. Women can have babies after menopause. Its all hormonally driven but at 57 she is very high risk. The friend can enter into a legal agreement that should be pretty much binding as long as her eggs are not used for the pregnancy. If it was her eggs she could argue that it was her offspring, otherwise she is just the incubator. I hope it all works for you. I have two friends that said they wish they could be a surrogate but could not give up the baby, so you are very lucky. Take care.
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Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
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calico
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Thank you everyone for the reply. I hope that I do not have to go this route. I am just trying to look ahead at other options if I cannot carry a baby myself. I lost my ovaries at 26 due to ovarian cancer therefore IVF with DE is my only option. I have had 2 failed cycles. The last one ending in a chemical. Come to find out I am missing the beta 3 integrins. I am now in the process of trying to restore them with Letrazole. I will do another biopsy next week to check for the integrins. If the Letrazole restores them I will cycle again with a new donor next month.
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intenshn
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I just wanted to chime in that age has nothing to do with carrying a non-biological child. Either your friend or your mom can do it equally. As long as they handle pregnancy well, and generally are in good health, either would be a good candiadate. How cool would it be for your mom though? I am best friends with my mom. I would love that! 
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