Hi all. Just thought I'd share a story with you. I was at a gathering last week for Christmas and I was standing in the kitchen holding my decaf soda when a girl asked me why I wasn't drinking. I kind of looked at my huge belly and said, well, because I'm pregnant. She then said, "oh, that's just silly. I hung out at the bars every weekend when I was pregnant. You'd see me walking around with a huge belly and a beer!" I was thinking, My gosh, I just switched from Pepsi to Sprite to avoid caffeine and here she was almost bragging about drinking beer through her whole pregnancy! And then she proceeded to say, "I also smoked through the whole thing and my son is proof that you can smoke and drink and be fine. Well, he does has asthma but that has nothing to do with it." Ladies, I wanted to smack her. I just stood there unable to respond and luckily got saved by someone else calling me away. Imagine? Just thought I'd share that since I know how appalling it was and I know how hard everyone here works to keep healthy to conceive and stay healthy for their growing babies. Needless to say, I didn't speak with her for the rest of the night! Karen
39 years old. Divorced at 26, 2 teenage daughters from that marriage. 3 devastating miscarriages. B/G twins born 1/23/06 after IVF at 29 weeks, 4 days.
33 years old, DH 34, married 9 years, one DD-5 years old concieved naturally after 2 years TTC, TTC for 2 years for #2, Clomid for 5 months, IUI 4 times with Gonal-F (2 canceled, 2 failed), 1st IVF in August, BFP 9/5/05, Due Date May 17, 2006, DS born May 8, 2006
The nerve some people have. First of all I can't believe she would even think to make a comment like that to you, and second of all I can't believe that she would brag about doing it herself. I can't stand people like that. Some people don't realize how hard it is for others to get pg. Most of us have quit all of the things you shouldn't do while pg just so we have a better chance of getting pg. She is lucky her child is okay, and thank you God for watching out for the ignorant. Thanks for sharing.
32 DH 28, 2 daughters from previous relationship, 20+ m/cs found out I have Anticardiolipin Antibody syndrome 8/05 TTC for 4+ years last m/c 2/05 BFP 2/06 m/c 2/06
Alot of poeple dont respect life like those that have struggled to have a child or lost someone. She will probably learn the hard way on the value of life. Hopefully her son doesnt have a near death asthma attack because of her smoking. I will pray for her.
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
You guys are so right. I mean, the poor child most likely has asthma because of her ( I realize he may have had it anyway but she'll never know) and he'll have that his whole life. So for 9 selfish months she enjoyed her smoking to make him suffer a lifetime. Craziness!!
39 years old. Divorced at 26, 2 teenage daughters from that marriage. 3 devastating miscarriages. B/G twins born 1/23/06 after IVF at 29 weeks, 4 days.
Stories like that make me rage!!!! How ignorant.. and it baffles me how people like that can get pregnant so easily and then they abuse their bodies and put their babies at such awful risk.
I remember when I was going through fertility treatments... and was so sad and frustrated.. I saw a young girl.. very visibly pregnant and smoking.. I wanted to jump out of the car and throttle her... HOW DARE she abuse her motherhood when each and everyone of us have made huge sacrifices!
But that story really takes the cake.. I would have easily slapped her and suffered the consequeces... I can be like that... a bit outspoken.. sure.. soemtimes it gets you in trouble.. but trust me.. it does feel mighty good!!
37 yrs. old, DH is 39 -- TTC for a year and a half.. One blocked tube. Completed two IUI's (both on 1050 iu's of Gonal-F). BFP Sept. 28. Annabel born on June 7th - 1 day after my official due date!!
Some people are so inconsiderate to their babies. I get so angry at people like that. I feel like they shouldn't even have children. If she did that while she was p/g, I am sure she still is the same way. After struggling to get p/g and also hold a p/g, I want to slap women like that.
Karen, I give you credit, I don't think I could have restrained myself if confronted w/ such a person.
DH and I are 36. Married 10 yrs. p/g 4/01 m/c @ 9 wks. DH dx w/ severe mf - told best chance of conception was IVF. 1st IVF 5/02, m/c @ 7 wks. FET 5/03 conceived triplets and lost triplet at 11 wks. gestation. Had B/G twins @ 32wks. ++ p/g 5/5/05 conceived nat. much to our surprise
But, during the WORST part of our treatments, I had a very similar experience.
I have a friend who smoked and drank - A LOT - during her pregnancy and one day she was at the bar and a man walked up to her and said, "I hope you feel bad when your baby is born with all kinds of birth defects." and walked off.
Now, get this...she called me BAWLING that someone would suggest that if her child was born with birth defects it would somehow be her fault. HELLO?? I was STUNNED!! We're the same age...figured she would have understood the whole fetal growth thing. Nope. Totally stunned that just because she would have a bottle of wine every Friday night would somehow adversely affect her growing child. Not that I agree with the man's approach, but I stressed that his message was actually pretty right. She just couldn't imagine it.
Here DH and I were - trying desperately to have a child, and there she is: drunk, smoking and pregnant by accident...and husband REFUSED to give up cocaine and pot. We had given up everything that could have affected our chances and here they were calling us "overly paranoid".
From that experience I learned that just about the time you've re-established your faith in humanity, some butt reaming moron comes along and confirms that you were right in the first place: some people deserve a great big smack.
I'm really sorry you had that experience. Thankfully, you've taken good care of yourself and those babies - I wish you all a very happy and healthy life!!
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