Well if I hadnt heard everything during this journey. I have a girlfriend that I have known for about 6 months. I met here through her husband who had been a patient of mine. She is a great lady and has really struggled trying to keep their marraige going.
I called the house to let her know about my miscarraige. Her husband answered and asked how I was so I told him. Well, he told me that while we wait to get pg again maybe him and I could practice making babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked. I told him that was not appropriate and he said well, what he could he say since I was such a good looking women. Yuck. I felt so violated. My babies are in heaven and he wants to get lucky. My husband says if he sees him again he has words for him. I feel bad for my girlfriend since she is working so hard to make things work with him. If we were long term friends it would be easy to let her know what a jerk her hubby is. Since we have know each other for only a few months I wonder is she would just blame me. I personally would want to know. Hmmmm.
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
I am 38; DH is 37. No children; PCO; 1 partially blocked tube; 2 failed IUI's; 3rd IUI cancelled; 1st IVF in May resulted in m/c; 2nd IVF in August, BFP on 9/6/05.
OMG!! i can't believe what a humongous jerk that guy is!! and i totally understand the feeling of violation that comes with comments like that. it's just not fair that they're the ones making the inappropriate statements and we're the ones left feeling dirty. ICK!! sorry you had to go through that and i hope it never happens again.
Welp, we know he's a jerk. If it were me, I wouldn't say anything. If he physically put his hands on me and intended to do something, that would be one thing. Since he just said all of this on the phone, he only spoke like a pig, he didn't actually DO anything yet. Personally, I think speaking it is enough to be classified as an idiot but it could be easily turned around into an "I was only kidding, she took it the wrong way" type of thing. Hope you figure out what to do and also hope that you don't have to talk to him anymore!
36 years old. Married for 17 years. 1 son, 7 years old, conceived w/ ICSI. 2nd IVF w/ ICSI in June=No Fertilization. August cycle cancelled for poor response. Considering options.
Wow! I can't believe that man would ask you how you are and then offer you what he did! That puts you in a tough situation when it comes to your friend, I feel bad for her, but it sounds to me like her marriage is over if he is doing things like that!
35 yrs old, dh is 38,married for 5 years on May 20th. have been ttc for 3 years, 3 miscarriages diagnosed with homo MTHFR and factor II mutation, trying on our own, did have one IUI but failed. BFP 7-21 05
Fortyfour, What a pervert! Just be thankful that you have the hubby that you have. Your friend will find out soon enough what kind of man she is married to... if she hasn't figured it out already. People! They can sure be disappointing. I would stay as far away from that situation as possible.
38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
33 yrs old married to dh 12 1/2 yrs. scarred fallopian tubes from laser surgery for cervical cancer cells 3rd ivf attempt in march, now pg. with b/g twins due 12/15/05
OMG! My mouth dropped open when I read your story! What a pig and to top it off, he said that after your tragic news?? Unreal. All the advice above is perfect. I sure hope you never have to see that idiot! Karen
39 years old. Divorced at 26, 2 teenage daughters from that marriage. 3 devastating miscarriages. B/G twins born 1/23/06 after IVF at 29 weeks, 4 days.
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
It's my personal belief that one should NEVER get involved in anyone else's marriage, even within the family, unless advice is asked of you. One just never knows if they're going to believe you (an outsider) or their spouse.
However, if she ever asks why you don't call or come around anymore, I would go right ahead and tell her that her husband made an inappropriate remark to you, but leave it up to her to discuss what was said with her husband. That way, you remain relatively unaccusatory, and if she comes back and says he didn't mean it the way it sounded or you took it wrong, stay firm and repeat that it was inappropriate and you won't put yourself in that position again, and don't!
37, unexplained infertility (no M or F factors), TTC for 1 yr, 3 failed cycles of Clomid 50 mg + IUI, 2 failed cycles of 5 mg Femara + Gonal-f + IUI, having extreme difficulty coping, esp. with all the blissfully new moms around me
Shared Journey Community
Author
Offline
Logged
Unreal. All the advice above is perfect. I sure hope you never have to see that idiot! Karen