|
Home
| Home | Help | Search | Login | Register |
Abbreviations |
Author
|
Topic: To Fortyfour (Read 1613 times) |
|
Fortyfour
Gold Member
 Offline
Posts: 990
I'm a llama!
View Profile | E-Mail |
|
Thank you everyone.
Cassandra, I can go through the doc for info on egg donor agencies he uses or find my own agency. Or I ask around with people to know if someone is interested. My family is small so options limited there.
Thanks for the insurance info meridithhasfaith. I will look into that.
|
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
|
|
|
WantsBaby2
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 671
I'm a llama!
View Profile | |
|
Congratulations on your new job Fortyfour! And a raise to boot! That's wonderful! That will help a lot. I'm sorry about your daughter leaving. That's a bummer. I had a house full of family this Easter weekend. I said goodbye to my mother, (she lives about 5 hours away) and everytime we say goodbye it's hard. There is something special about mothers and daughters......
Anyway, I hope your decision about the donor gets easier. I think you will know when the situation is right. I saw on another one of your posts that your sister won't give you any of her eggs. I am sorry that is the case. People can be so disappointing sometimes, even our siblings. I know things will work out for you eventually Fortyfour. Just try to hang in there!
Wantsbaby2
|
38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
|
|
|
Fortyfour
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 990
I'm a llama!
View Profile | E-Mail |
|
Thanks wantsbaby2, It has been hard day for me. My daughter left and husband unexpectedly had to go to flight school for 5 days the next day when I was at work.
I feel really angry with my sister today. I know she has the right to do with her body what she wants but it seems so selfish of her. She told me the other day to not bug the family and just get an anonymous donor. It would be nice to have a biologically related child in order to know family history and stuff but I know it is not essential in order to love my baby. I cant help but think it is a control issue for her. Noone can raise a child like she can she thinks. oh well, anger will do me no good.
I felt guilty today knowing that there are so many kids that need parents and I am spending all this money with the possibility of no baby. It has been a strange day. Take care everyon one and thanks on the congrats for the job.
|
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
|
|
|
Lynne
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 189
God, grant me patience
View Profile | |
|
44, if you could answer a question for me, do the egg doners get paid for this or is just their medical expenses covered?
Also you have every right to feel upset with your sister but you are not going to change her point of view and there is no point in causing in family problems, just carry on with your own life and let it go. I know you would feel better with a biologically connected child but how much interference would you have when raising the baby? Perhaps it's not worth the headache in the end. With an unknown donor you can only hope that they have a healthy history but I would guess the screening process would confirm this before using her as a donor. I am not sure hhow donors work, prehaps a good friend would be more receptive
I know this was probably more advice and questions than you wanted today, sorry about that , I guess I've been having my own issues lately aswell..
Baby wishes to you 44. 
|
32 years old, 1 child ( girl 10 years old) from a previous marriage, TTC 5+years, 7 rounds of clomid failed, 3rd round of IUI failed, taking a break till September, Edmonton Alberta Canada
|
|
|
Fortyfour
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 990
I'm a llama!
View Profile | E-Mail |
|
Lynn, thank you for your thoughts. The donors get paid for this. The agencies charge from $25oo to $5,000 to handle the donors. The donors charge from $4,000 to $10,00 for one cycle. The meds are an extra $2500 or so. The doctor charges $2000 to organize their treatment and the retrieval. You also have to pay for the medical checkups for the ladies - around $2,000. Things didnt work out with my last donor so I worry about who to chose again.
I have reviewed every issue I can think of with this. Anonymous is the easy way but I cant afford it everytime.
I am angry at my sister but am not trying to change her mind. I wound not want someone to be donor if they didnt want to. That would be asking for trouble. I am not going to talk to her about my getting pregnant again.
I would not want a friend to donate because I dont want to look at their kids and see my kid in them. I could only do that if it was a family member. Thanks for our thoughts but i have chewed this through for 4 years now.
Take care.
|
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
|
|
|
Lynne
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 189
God, grant me patience
View Profile | |
|
holy crap that's alot of money.. 
You amaze me with how much energy you have put into this, I know I couldn't have driven myself so far. I wonder if donors are paid in Alberta too, I'll have to check on it. but I don't think we would go that route. Knowing the old man like I do we probably would have to be happy with what we have, and right now that's more than I can handle anyway.
|
32 years old, 1 child ( girl 10 years old) from a previous marriage, TTC 5+years, 7 rounds of clomid failed, 3rd round of IUI failed, taking a break till September, Edmonton Alberta Canada
|
|
|
snindy
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 221
God Hear our prayers!
View Profile | E-Mail |
|
44,
Would you ever consider eggs that are already fertilized? I'm sure you wouldn't want that but just checking.
Cindy
|
32 yrs old, Been trying about 5 yrs, married for 9yrs, Suffer from PCOS, 1 failed IUI and 1 IVF that led to miscarriage. 2nd IVF 10/27/05. BFP 11/10/05 I'm having twins... had b/g twins 4/7/06 at 25 1/2 wks
I reside in Michigan.
|
|
|
Fortyfour
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 990
I'm a llama!
View Profile | E-Mail |
|
My hubbies sperm are good so we decided not to do that. Thank you for idea though. Take care
|
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
|
|
|
cassandra
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 428
I'm a llama!
View Profile | |
|
Sorry for the reaction from your sister. I have a sister who is 32 and two kids 9 and 11. If I had to I would have asked her also. The best you can do is try. I agree that even my own sister and mother don't understand.
My last transfer in Jan. caused a rift in my family because I asked my sister to bring me.(my dh had a big job and we needed the money)She called my mom and told her she couldn't do it. My mother then proceeded to call my in laws and tell them their son should be there.(we didn't even tell them we were having it done)My mom then called me a started to lecture on how important it was for Jim to be there. She said "what, am I next on your list of people to ask for a ride?"It was awful.I hung up on her. Since then we have become friends again but talking about ivf to either of them is a nono. They really don't get it. My mom says a baby is gonna really change your life. Like I haven't thought this through! Oh well, what can you do? I just keep to myself now about it. thanks for letting me share...cassandra
|
33 yrs old married to dh 12 1/2 yrs. scarred fallopian tubes from laser surgery for cervical cancer cells 3rd ivf attempt in march, now pg. with b/g twins due 12/15/05
|
|
|
WantsBaby2
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 671
I'm a llama!
View Profile | |
|
Geez you guys, it makes me almost glad I don't have a sister. I have had a few friends lost along this infertility journey because they were so insensitive, but you girls take the cake. Shame on your mother and sister for not being there for you 100% Makes me wish we girls lived closer so we could take care of each other!
Don't you ever wish you could hand off your infertility to other people in your life for a while? They would learn it's no picnic. I have a friend in my life right now who I think I am going to stay away from for awhile. She is getting on my nerves. She keeps talking about how we should just adopt and how wonderful that would be. I would never argue the fact that it is a wonderful thing, in fact we will go that route if it comes to that. I am just not in that place right now. I think there needs to be a grieving process for your natural children that will never be before you can adopt......just my opinion.
She does not consider the fact that babies are very hard to come by in the States and forein adoptions are extremely expensive. It's easy for people to dole out advice and opinions when they are not standing in your shoes.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time Cassandra. Your family is being very cruel to you. You are a very stong woman for being able to put up with them and make ammends. It's one thing for friends to be insensitive, but when your family is not understanding, it becomes another huge stressor in your life. I would give yourself a lot of credit. You are a very kind and amazing woman who deserves a little baby of your own!
My husband travels quite a bit for his job too. It is very lonely and difficult sometimes, but the mortgage is not going to pay itself right? What choice do you have? Try to hang in there and concentrate only on those little embies digging in thier heels! 
Wantsbaby2
|
38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
|
|
|
Fortyfour
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 990
I'm a llama!
View Profile | E-Mail |
|
Cassandra, Sorry about the family. If my daughter was doing ivf i would be driving her to every appt that she needed me there for. I dont understand family. What would have been the harm in driving you? To help you reach your dreams. I hope you are feeling better today. Are you still having the pain in your abd.?
take care and happy implantation.
|
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
|
|
|
cassandra
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 428
I'm a llama!
View Profile | |
|
Yup, I think we are definately a different kind of woman to eat crap and say it tastes like cake! My sister just called me and didn't even ask me how it went. She said well, gotta go pizzas getting cold! She called me! Her attitude....ugh! I'm disgusted.I didn't tell her anything about how my weekend went. Damn, I think she is a selfish brat. I'm feeling MUCH better and am ready to go back to work tomorrow. I just found out my husbands uncle is going to be staying in my spare bedroom Wed-Sat. He's up from Va to say goodbye to his sister who is dying from pancreatic cancer. I can't wait til my dh comes home! Babydust to all....cassandra
|
33 yrs old married to dh 12 1/2 yrs. scarred fallopian tubes from laser surgery for cervical cancer cells 3rd ivf attempt in march, now pg. with b/g twins due 12/15/05
|
|
|
WantsBaby2
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 671
I'm a llama!
View Profile | |
|
Your sister didn't even ASK how you were doing? Or how the transfer went? Ug! That's so insensitive!!!Why wouldn't she ask how it went? 
|
38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
|
|
|
cassandra
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 428
I'm a llama!
View Profile | |
|
Wantsbaby2, she never asks. cassandra
|
33 yrs old married to dh 12 1/2 yrs. scarred fallopian tubes from laser surgery for cervical cancer cells 3rd ivf attempt in march, now pg. with b/g twins due 12/15/05
|
|
|
Fortyfour
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 990
I'm a llama!
View Profile | E-Mail |
|
I do not understand. If someone know you are doing something so important and doesnt even ask how you are. Argh! I am glad you are feeling better Cassandra.
|
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Shared Journey Community | Powered by Yabbse |
|
|
|
|
Shared Journey Community
Logged