I'm totally new here, so please forgive me if I'm going over old ground. I miscarried March 1 of this year (we'd been trying for a year and I was 6 and a half weeks along). I'm almost surprised at how my pain lingers, how my anger and sadness keeps rearing up, even though I should be "better." Anyway, my question is this: in the three cycles I've had since the misc., I've starting cramping (mild) on day 10 -- this continues until I start my period on day 30. So about 3 weeks of mild cramping. My OB says it is ovulatory, but I can't believe I'm ovulating for 3 weeks! We are trying to conceive again and I worry that this is interfering with ovulation/conception. Is this normal after a miscarriage? My OB seems dismissive... I never thought my body would "fail" me like this; I keep thinking I waited too long. Reading some of the messages here helps me to see and understand there are others like me -- I am, perhaps, not so alone. Thank you for listening.
i am so sorry for u i also had a miscarriage in march so i know how u feel i am not over mine yet either but dont give up and maybe u need to switch drs.
I think you are justified to still be mourning your loss. That is a hard thing. I am new on this forum too. I have been ttc for 4 years now. I spent 2 years trying to get pg on my own and with some help from my ob/gyn with no luck at all. I am 38 and I am now under the care of a RE ( reproductive endocrinologist) for about 6 months now. I wish I would have done this 3 years ago. They discovered that I have a big cyst on my left side and removed it. They also discovered that I have endometriosis and have cleaned that up and put me on meds for that. They have been very aggressive in treating my trouble while trying to help me get pg. You may want to look into a specialist if you don't conceive within the next several months. I don't know how old you are. I just wish someone would have given me this advice. You hang in there and keep you chin up! I will be praying for you!
For hsn2006 and Shelly -- thank you so much for your words of kindness and advice. I haven't spoken to anyone who has gone through this (miscarriage and endlessly ttc) -- I can't believe how much of a relief it is to hear similar experiences and know others are out there who are "surviving" this journey. It's funny: I spent the last decade avoiding getting pregnant and was taught how easy it was to get pregnant. Now it seems the hardest thing in the world, when for others it seems to come so easily. Both of you recommended perhaps changing doctors/going to an RE instead of an OB/GYN. I, like you Shelly, had been trying on my own (well, with husband's help!) the past year and a half, then the misc., now trying again on our own. I have an OB appoint. next week. Anything in particular I should ask? I have had some fertility testing (hormones) and my husband has been tested (all fine). I'm 33, and, for the first time, feel old... I appreciate so much you sharing your stories -- I feel your sadness; I know it. Shelly, you seem to be on a good, more hopeful (and hopefully productive) path; I'm so glad.Keep us all posted. Again, I wouldn't have believed how nice it feels to know of you all; miscarriage and infertility are such hushed topics.
GOOD FOR YOU! WHEN YOU GO BACK TO THE OB I WOULD TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE READY TO PURSUE A MORE AGGRESSIVE PATH ON YOUR VENTURE TO GETTING PG. A RE WILL ASK YOU VERY DETAILED QUESTIONS AND MAYBE COULD HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHERE THAT 3 WEEK CRAMPING THING IS COMING FROM. ONE THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS THE EXPENSE OF RE. IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO CALL YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY AND FIND OUT HOW MUCH THEY WOULD COVER FOR INFERTILITY TREATMENTS. COVERAGE GOES FORM ZERO TO 90%. HOPE YOU CAN GET THIS BALL ROLLING AND KNOW I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU AND PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR DH. KEEP ME POSTED ! TALK TO YOU SOON ! PS- YOU ARE NOT OLD !! YOU ARE SMART TO BE GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS NOW INSTEAD OF WAITING
Hi Shelly -- Been a long time since I've been on this forum it feels like. I'm getting to the end of yet another 2 week wait -- I've been cramping (mild) since day 19 with no spotting. I'm on day 25 today...I just wish I would get my period and be done with it. It's torturous to be uncertain (is the cramping a good sign? a bad one? just a really really early start to my period? ugh). I spoke seriously with my OB at the end of May. Based on all the tests, I'm "normal" -- nothing appears to be interfering with conception. She said Clomid wouldn't help me as I seem to be ovulating. I conceived once (then m/c), so the idea is I can do it again. I took your advice and was assertive about wanting help getting pregnant; if I don't conceive by the end of July (roughly), I head over to the Fertility Center. Yea. How are you doing? With your cyst gone and the endometriosis under control, how are your cycles/ovulation? What's your plan for the next few months? I wish you much good luck -- it sounds like everything is in order with your body. Now you just have to be patient (impossible for me, I know!) and let it do its thing! Slatka
The 2ww is always a bummer. Your up and then your down. You feel like your pg then you feel like your not pg. MIND GAMES !!! The cramping can go either way I think because of coarse we always cramp prior to AF and I have a 9 year old son and I remember so clearly having AF cramps but AF never came that is why I was shocked when I found out I was pg. I was only 28 then and wasnt even thinking about trying (of coarse). I am proud of you for getting assertive. YOU GO GIRL ! I had my 2nd failed IUI last month soooo I am taking this month off so I can hit the coast for a week of vacation. I'm leaving out on Saturday....yippy ! I will go for another IUI next month but this time my RE is starting me on the BIG injections. I'll be doing either gonal-f or follistim for the first time. I'm really a bit nervous about it but IF I have a better chance at the bundle of joy I'm willing to cowboy up Hang in there and you keep busy and try not to think about AF ! Let me know your outcome. I'll be praying for you and DH.
I just miscarried on the 13th of June. I have been reading all of the woman that r pregnant again so soon after miscarring. Is this ok??? I have been told to wait 3 months for my body to recuporate. (Also was told I need to heal emotionally too.)Will it hurt to try sooner?? Will I miscarry again if I try to soon(I know that it could still happen even if I wait the 3 months) I am afraid cause it took 7yrs to be blessed with the miracle I just miscarried that I wont b able to get pregnant again for a long time. My husband was told now is the best time to try again?? Can someone please give me some insight. Thank you
I'm so sorry about your loss; I miscarried on March 1 of this year and it took awhile to even achieve that pregnancy -- many of us on this forum know how you feel...
Here's my story/info: my OB told me it was best to wait until your period returns before trying to conceive again. Your body/hormones are still "out of whack" and you need to build up your uterine lining again (at least once or twice, I was told) in order for it to be hospitable for another implantation. I got my cycle back 28 days after my m/c, but I know it sometimes takes a few months for it to return normally. I had no complications from the m/c, no D & C, so my info is based on those circumstances. At the very least, you should wait until your HCG levels are at zero (this took me about 6 weeks, though they lowered very fast, enough for me to have a normal period in 28 days. Sometimes, the HCG levels linger for quite awhile). My OB did tell me (because I asked -- like you, we wanted to try again right away) that there is a slightly higher risk of another miscarriage for pregnancies conceived within a few weeks of m/c -- again, because the uterus is not quite ready in some women to sustain a pregnancy yet. My husband and I are still trying to conceive (we started that second month/cycle after the m/c: we didn't wait 3 months because the Ob said it wasn't necessary in my case); my doc says this is normal and, if we did it once, we can do it again. I'm 33, so I am anxious about my age, but people have been encouraging that we can do it again -- so I would say the same for you. Remember, this is just my info and experience. I would check with your OB, see what she says. Much good luck to you and happy to have you on this forum. Shelly -- I know you're on vacation...enjoy it! Thinking of you as you relax and prepare for your IUI next month. Keep in touch. Slatka
Thank u so much for responding. I m sorry to hear of ur loss as well I know it's not easy. I am 31 now and have wanted to have my family all finished by the time I was 30. Well that never happened, but I am hopeful now that I now I can still get pregnant. I am so glad u didn't have a complications with the m/c and didn't need a D&C. My m/c went the same way, no complications and no D&C. I pray that I can start again sooner than the 3 month period they gave me. I am praying as well as crossing my fingers! I go for a follow-up August 1st. Hopefully I'll get a green light so to speak. How do u know when your HCG levels r back to normal?? I pray God blesses u and ur husband with a little soon.
Hi Babycasey -- your situation sounds a lot like mine: I, too, just assumed getting pregnant would be easy, I had all the time in the world, I would easily have my little family all started by the time I was 30. As we know, our plans don't always work out... That's what my family and docs have been saying, too: if you guys did it once, you can do it again. It means our fallopian tubes (at least one) are not blocked, the egg is traveling as it should, and we can conceive. Sometimes, though, as was probable in our cases, the body takes care of genetic problems on its own. I try to focus on the fact that this little life would have never come to term anyway; it just wasn't healthy enough; it was a mercy to me (and it) that it didn't grow any bigger. After my miscarriage, my OB/GYN had me do weekly blood tests (I believe this is routine, from what I've heard, after a m/c) to see if the HCG levels are dropping. Blood testing is the only way to find out the HCG levels. If they do not drop (over time) that means that there is still some fetal material left in the uterus that needs to be removed -- but this shouldn't be a concern until many weeks have passed and the HCG is still the same. It sounds like your doc is just going to wait with the HCG testing until August (hopefully, they will be down by then) -- but if you feel any pain, anything "odd" you must call your doc before then. I had a two-week follow-up post-m/c with my OB and she said I was ovulating; and - bam - 28 days after the m/c I had my period. I'd wait until you have your first period (has to be more than 21 days post-m/c for it to be considered a real period), then perhaps call you doc and see what she says about trying again. Sorry I went on and on -- I remember so well I was in your position 3 months ago. Your body will recover itself; it just needs time. There was nothing you could do, take a deep breath and let yourself heal. Take care -- Slatka
Slatka, Thank you so much for responding. It was hard at first when I found this website to write my story, but I am feeling better everytime I read a reply. It does alot of good I feel for women out there to know that they are not alone in any of the situations that we go through. And thank you for sharing your story. It truely does help! You could have gone on and on and on and it would not have bothered me. I am glad to know they test the HCG levels through blood, cause I started thinking that maybe it was done through the urine that they have u bring in for every visit. So thank you for clarifing that for me. And I know my body will recover. I started doing postpartum exercises in hopes to heal quicker, but I think I will back off some cause I can feel my muscles ache and don't want to push it. I just want to heal quickly, watch next month go by in a blink and practice the fun in making a baby again!! I am taking one day at a time, but some days I think I get ahead of myself and hope that I am not the only one that does this. I am just so excited that I know I can have a baby that I want to believe it won't take as long this time(took 7yrs). Well I pray every night for all the women in the world(cause I know and they know what we have been thru) that we all get the little miracles God blesses upon us. Thanks again Slatka, BabyCasey
Hi BabyCasey -- Just keep yourself busy -- doing some gentle exercises again will help not only physically, but mentally. I do yoga, kickboxing, and fast walking; though it took awhile to get back in the routine (you had such a recent loss -- give yourself time), it helps immensely to feel good about myself again. To get my body in shape for the next time (which will come, we have to believe). I still totally get ahead of myself, though I tell myself not to. When I get my period, I automatically count out when the next should come, when I can do a HPT, when, if I conceive, I will be far enough along to risk telling my family, etc. I think, oh, the baby would be here before Easter, or whatever. I had hoped this past Father's Day to be telling my husband some good news, but it wasn't the case. But, there's something in most of us that keeps us optimistic, even in the face of months and years of disappointments. Faith, perhaps, in god or nature or good. Don't know, but without it, I would be crushed. Well, you have a little over a month to go before your next check-up in August. It will go fast. Hopefully, even, your cycle will return before then. Take care everyone -- Slatka
Hi all - Sorry for all your losses and emotional ups and downs. I know it is hard to wait but if you wait at least 6 months after a m/c it is alot easier to handle trying to conceive again. I have had 2 miscarraiges. The body may be ready but the heart is not. Take care all.
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
Haven't heard from you in awhile...just wondering how you are doing, how you are recovering. Feel free to check in; I know -- and all these women on here know -- how difficult this all is, how overwhelming and, at least for me, lonely.
Hope you are doing well and feeling good. Take care --
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!!! The cramping can go 