I feel better today and do not feel that sinking sad feeling in my stomach. Yeah!!!!!!! I went to go visit a girlfriend who is 50, married and happily childless. Its funny because she think I am crazy for wanting kids my whole life and I think she missing out for not wanting and having kids. She is supportive though and has not said anything wacko yet. We just look at each other when the kid discussion comes up with a question mark above our heads.
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
Hello 44! That is great to be with a someone and appreciate the differences without feeling judged or being judged. We need more people like her in the world. I am so happy you are feeling good. Sometimes it just takes getting out and being around the right people.
We are going to a housewarming party Saturday night. I am really looking to it because the couple is so fun and thoughtful and they have great friends. It will definitely be a upbeat night.
33 yrs old married to dh 12 1/2 yrs. scarred fallopian tubes from laser surgery for cervical cancer cells 3rd ivf attempt in march, now pg. with b/g twins due 12/15/05
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
It will be next week some time. The donor goes in on Monday to check the follicles and I go in on Tuesday for blood work and the vagional ultrasound. I'm trying not to think too much about it (even though it is consuming every thought!) because I am sooooooo nervous! I am thinking that the transfer will be Thursday or Friday. It just depends if it is a 2, 3, 4, or 5 day transfer.
This is it for me. The end of the road. After this transfer it will be our third --- all out of pocket. My DH and I want to travel (not that we haven't been travelling during all these procedures) but we are not going to persue it anymore. It consumes you. It has been over a year since the last procedure, but we knew we were going to do it again with the donor and it has been in the back of our minds. I guess that is why I am so nervous.
My pregnant friend has hounding me for the last week. I just have not felt like talking to her while all this is going on. She left a message on the machine this morning, which I can tell she was irritated, saying that she has left numerous messages for me. Last time I talked to her...... all conversations ended up with her pregnancy. Thanks, but no thanks. I know her baby shower is coming up. Obviously, I do not want to go. I think she is a bit heartless with all this. She is the only friend that I have even told about this transfer due to her wanting us to be godparents. You would think she would leave us alone. I don't understand why she wants to rub my nose in her pregnancy. She is not as cool as your friend 44. She doesn't get it!
Lindsey, Sorry you are having to deal with your pg friend. Having to deal with that is soooo difficult. Especially when they are not sensitive. I dealt with my pg friend all last year and she ended up getting mad at me because she didn't think I was being a good friend to her.
I didn't want to hear about her trying to get pregnant again (with her second child) and she said I made her "not want to share." Imagine that! When I explained that I was only setting some boundaries for myself for what I could handle, and I was just being honest, she told me she wished I wouldn't have been so honest. Yep. And she is the one sitting at home with a 7 month old beautiful baby girl. I haven't talked to her since and I hope I never have to again!
Fortyfour, I am glad you are feeling better. I think it is like someone said, once you have your mind set on what you need to do, you will feel so much better. It's the being in limbo part that is so hard. All those big decisions at once, especially after your failed transfer. That's a lot to take in! Take care!
38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
Wow, Lindsey, It is right around the corner. Good luck with the procedure and keep in touch with us. I hope she makes alot of eggs for you. I will put a big pray out there for you tonight. It would be so hard for me to have a close friend pregnant right now. I would not be answering the phone for her either. Its too bad if she is upset. Is she worried about your feelings right now? Let her wait I say.
thanks wantsbaby2, I realized today what pressure I was putting on myself with this donor thing. We have until august to do the transfer so I can take some time. I am always pushing myself though.. Part of my nature. Take care all.
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
I would say that the friend is definitely NOT worried about my feelings! I have decided I will not call her back --- it's just too much. Plus, my husband reminded me how she insisted I help her throw a baby shower for another friend not even 1 month after I miscarried. She is definely extremely self-centered right now and has been in the past.
That is nice that you have the opportunity to take a break from this and you have until August Fortyfour. I know what you mean about being anxious and wanting to get going with everything. You just have to decide when it's right for you to get started again.
It is a shame, but I am already thinking about the frozen eggs and the upcoming procedure not working. I would never admit it to my husband, because for a change he is actually really positive. I really don't know why I am thinking like that. That is not my personality --- I always see the glass half-full. I guess it is because the 2 didn't work. This time..... it's different because of the donor. I hope she does produce alot of eggs because we are splitting them with another couple. She has a good history with this clinic and she's 22. I will definitely keep you posted. I am going to need this site to help me through the two weeks after the transfer.
Good luck Lindsey, I wish you nothing but the best! Be positive. This could be the one for you! We will all be saying prayers and crossing all of our fingers and toes for a positive! Buckets and buckets of baby dust to you Lindsey!
It is amazing how your true friends come forward during this time. Your friend was always like that and now you are seeing it without blinders on. That is one good thing that infertility does for us is weeds out the jerks from our life. It is a real eye opener, no doubt about it.
I would not give that "friend" of yours a second thought. She wants things the way she wants them, regardless of your feelings. That is not a true friend. People don't realize this is a very traumatic time for us in our lives, and they feel we should still cater to everyone including them as if everything is ok. Well.......we get tired of pretending that everything is ok. And we get tired of smiling and nodding about pregnancies and all things baby related.
We are as tired, anxious and depressed as someone dealing with a life-threatening disease! (That is really a true statement I have read in many books!) So we need to cater to ourselves a little. I am not apologizing for keeping myself in a bubble anymore. I have my wonderful dh, my mother, and a few close friends who are amazingly supportive. Those are the only people I care to spend my time with while I am going though all of this crap. And I have you ladies of course, and I am forever grateful you put up with all my whining!!!!!
Thanks for listening girls! Hope you are all having a good Sunday!
38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
Thanks Wantsbaby2! You are sooooo right! I never really realized how one-sided the friendship was and that it has always been about her! You really opened my eyes! You are lucky that you have some friends and your mom that are supportive. I basically just have my DH and the wonderful ladies on Shared Journey for support. Thanks to all of you! I have written her (the friend) off. The more I thought about all the BS she has done and is doing.... hello! LIGHTBULB!!!! I think I just have always been the kind of person that goes with the flow.... I am in pain, but I will fulfill my so called responsibilities even at my expense. I'm not doing it anymore. AND especially when I am going through all the infertility procedures! Thanks for the support. I appreciate your honesty and candor. I am becoming stronger by the minute thanks to you ladies!!!!!!
You hit the nail on the head about the life threatening disease. It is MAJOR! What is so ironic is that in my case.... my insurance company doesn't cover ANYTHING! It is crazy! Right now I feel so bloated and fat thanks to all the prescriptions I am taking. It is a joke! Infertility really sucks! We could write our own song.... instead of Love Stinks..... Infertility Really Stinks!
A baby shower one month after m/c, She is definitley out of touch with what you are going through. If I was a cat I would growl at her. Take of yourself and take it day by day. I know there is alot of pressure for this one to work. I totally undrstand that. Baby dust to you.
Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
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We need more people like her in the world. I am so happy you are feeling good. Sometimes it just takes getting out and being around the right people.
I never really realized how one-sided the friendship was and that it has always been about her! You really opened my eyes! You are lucky that you have some friends and your mom that are supportive. I basically just have my DH and the wonderful ladies on Shared Journey for support. Thanks to all of you! I have written her (the friend) off. The more I thought about all the BS she has done and is doing.... hello! LIGHTBULB!!!! I think I just have always been the kind of person that goes with the flow.... I am in pain, but I will fulfill my so called responsibilities even at my expense. I'm not doing it anymore. AND especially when I am going through all the infertility procedures! Thanks for the support. I appreciate your honesty and candor. I am becoming stronger by the minute thanks to you ladies!!!!!!