Now that I've got three whole weeks of Motherhood under my belt, there are a few things I've learned that I thought I would share with you blossoming Mommies. Take it, or leave it...God knows you'll get PLENTY of advice once your baby, or babies, get here.
Delivery.
I would highly suggest the C-Section. It was such an amazing and PAIN FREE experience. I got nausea medication, anti-itch meds and great pain relief and I had really had a tremendously easy time of life. I did hurt the second day after delivery, but took my pain meds as scheduled and I was just fine...seriously. I'm a HUGE wimp, so this whole experience came as a huge shock to me. And, brace yourself, I actually feel like sex again!!
Breastfeeding.
You'll get HORRID advice from the lactation consultants at the hospital. They will tell you that you'll have to feed every hour or two for the first few weeks, and that you should wake your sleeping newborn to eat. DO NOT wake a sleeping baby. For your sanity AND theirs. Would you want to be awoken to be fed?? Trust me, your baby will let you know when they are hungry. It's an easy cry to figure out - it's the one that is the most urgent cry you've ever heard in your life...not just regular whiny crying. You won't hear the "I'm annoyed" cry for about two weeks...so you'll become really familiar with the "I'm hungry" cry!! If your baby eats 8 times a day, that's great and you're doing fine.
Another horrid myth: breastfeeding won't hurt if you're doing it right. WRONG! It's not the worst pain ever...but, it can be pretty painful. Especially when your milk comes in - your little boobies become posessed and massive and HARD and painful...and until your little one can help you get rid of that milk, it's a little painful. Your nipples will ALWAYS sting a bit, especially right after feeding. It's not horrible, but it just stings a bit, that's all. The latching on is toe curling until the third suck or so, then it's all good. It's just getting them on the breast and off the breast that gets a little dicey, but as long as you're prepared for it, then you'll be fine. It hurts, but it's not so bad that I want to quit, even when he cluster-feeds.
Emotions.
Two days after we got home, we were on our way for Duncan's one week check-up...as we got off the highway, I noticed tears running down my cheeck. I thought it was odd because I didn't even know I was crying. By the time we got to the end of the exit ramp, I was in hysterics - with NO CLUE why I was bawling!! Though I can - and do - cry at the slightest provocation, I don't cry for no reason anymore. I was just NOT prepared to cry - and I mean CRY - for no reason whatsoever.
When your little darling is screaming their pretty little head off at 3AM, and you have fed, diapered, burped, cuddled and given gas drops...you, too, will bawl like your baby. It is the worst - THE WORST - feeling in the world...not being able to make your crying baby better is the SINGLE most helpless feeling in the world...and you will cry your eyes out. Just know that you are a WONDERFUL MOMMY, you've done everything you can for your baby and then pray for the strength to get through the crying spell.
Fear.
I think the one thing infertility took from me was my ability to relax a little about Duncan and actually ENJOY my baby. I can't get over the fact that he is here to stay - DH and I still feel like he will be taken from us at any second. For the first ten days, all we did was stare and him and cry...like it still wasn't real that he was actually here. Then, once that passed, all I could think was that I wasn't going to be able to keep him...like it's some cruel joke and I won't get to keep him forever. DH and I share that same fear - and I think the infertility is really to blame...all the effort, m/c and time has made us crazy. We tried for SO long and wished and prayed and hoped for him for so long, that it's just not real that he IS ours to have and to hold forever. I was not prepared for how very tweaked we are because of all the loss during our infertility journey. DH and I have made a concious decision to NOT be overly protective of him...like crazy over protective...so we are learning to deal with the fact that he IS here and he IS here to stay and we ARE okay as a wonderful little family. It's hard to accept, but we're learning. And that has me a little bothered, but I understand it. It's like abused women who have a hard time accepting a good relationship - the infertility abused us and now we're trying to accept the good relationship with our son.
Smell.
No one EVER prepared me for how good my baby would smell. We huff his little hats. We jam our noses into the crook of his warm, soft neck. We smell him all the time!! Smell your baby...smell your baby a lot. And marvel at the soft, sweet skin. Just remember to smell the baby. It will cure anything that might ail you.
Well, I'm not going to blather on any more. There are some special considerations for Mommies and Daddies with infertility experience...things you may never expect. Just remember - you're a great Mommy, he's a great Daddy and you'll all be just fine.
MUCH LOVE to each of you!
HeatherMac
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