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Topic: 4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years! (Read 636 times) |
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tinkerbell
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4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« on: 04/04/05, 09:41 » |
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hello all,
first of all, I'm so glad to find this site and it gives me some feeling of comfort knowing that i am not alone in this TTC journey...
i am on my 2nd IUI, and really hoping that this time it will work. I am on 2ww right now, and each day is excruciatingly slow. What makes matter worse is that during this 2ww, i had 4 of my close friends find out that they are pregnant unexpectedly!!! Four of them?!! the announcements came in succession, that I wanted to cut my phone line for a while. The thing is, all of them are not expecting their pregnancies, and were somewhat disappointed that their pregnancy happened! What an irony, if only they knew. They might be my close friends, but I never told them that we are undegoing fertility treatments. They know that I want to get pregnant, but not that much to the extent of undergoing fertility treatment. So I think they are not aware how much it hurts me, them announcing of their pregnancies.
I am happy for them, but can't help but to feel sad for me. I can't help to think of the irony of it all.
One of my preggy friend wants to have lunch with me. I don't want to, because all the talks will just revolve around pregnancy. I am thinking of a good excuse not to have lunch with her. I am not trying to avoid them, but I think that's the best thing for me to do right now.
I apologize for venting... I just wanted to share this,
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I'm 32. DH is 36. TTC for 3 yrs. Had 3 clomid/IUI cycles with no success. Going for the next step, when suddenly got BFP (9/6/05). Due date 5/13/06
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Lynne
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #1 on: 04/04/05, 09:49 » |
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Goodmorning tinkerbell, don't feel alone in being upset with your friends, I think we all feel a bit resentful when someone else can get pregnant soooo easily. It's not fair.... but like my old man says life is unfair. We are also ttc and he has even fixed the hand rails on the stairs just in case because if I get pregnant I might lose my balance on the stairs ( being front end heavy). Don't lose hope and I can't really give alot of advice to you, I have told my friends about our struggle and most are there for me to cry with and it helps, they try to understand how some situations will hurt and don't push when I say I can't go out to certain events. But every one is different and you need to guage each situation for yourself, sometimes it is easier to keep things to yourself so feel free to come here, we are always ready to listen.
Baby wishes. Lynne.
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32 years old, 1 child ( girl 10 years old) from a previous marriage, TTC 5+years, 7 rounds of clomid failed, 3rd round of IUI failed, taking a break till September, Edmonton Alberta Canada
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tinkerbell
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #2 on: 04/04/05, 10:11 » |
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hello lynne... thanks for the good wishes, and the nice advise. i really need that. right now, i'm keeping the fertility procedures to myself (my DH included) because i can't just think of sharing it to them, these are people who can get pregnant on demand.. i don't know if they will be able to relate to me.
on another note, i will have my progesterone test tom, so wish me luck. Last time I had 19 but didn't conceive. hopefully this time it will be much better... one more week to go! i promised myself not take HPT until AF is delayed... i'll keep u posted...
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I'm 32. DH is 36. TTC for 3 yrs. Had 3 clomid/IUI cycles with no success. Going for the next step, when suddenly got BFP (9/6/05). Due date 5/13/06
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Amy
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #3 on: 04/04/05, 10:55 » |
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welcome tinkerbell, i'm also fairly new to this site but i have found some of the best support and advice from everyone here. it is nice to know that you are not alone in the world of infertility even though sometimes if feels that way. so anytime you need to vent feel free we are all ears.
my husband and i also started out keeping our infertility a secret but we got sooooo sick of everyone always asking ARE YOU PREGNANT? that we finally told our parents and most of our friends. i'm not sure if that made it any better since none of them have had to go through the struggles of infertility. now they call at the end of that 2ww to learn the answer. but some of my closest friends have been the best shoulders to cry on  i argee it is not fair.
best of luck on your test tom. we will all be thinking of you so keep us posted!!
baby wishes, amy
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i am 28 years old, married for almost 7 years, 0 children. ttc for about 3 years, going through infertility treatments for 8 months-5 unsuccessful iui's. husband has sperm issues
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cassandra
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #4 on: 04/04/05, 11:39 » |
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Hi Tinkerbell. Welcome to the site! I can imagine how hard it must be for you right now. It's too bad your friends are indifferent to their pregnancies. It certainly must be hard for you to congratulate them. Believe me, we understand. Try not to keep anger and resentment bottled up inside you. It's not good for you. Maybe talk to your dh about your feelings? It helps to talk to someone.It sure is hard to say congrats when your'e trying so hard. I can't even get the words out without tearing up! I have told a friend we are on our 3rdIVF. Lynne is right about having a good friends shoulder to lean or cry on. It helps. Good luck to you...cassandra
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33 yrs old married to dh 12 1/2 yrs. scarred fallopian tubes from laser surgery for cervical cancer cells 3rd ivf attempt in march, now pg. with b/g twins due 12/15/05
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BabyBound
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #5 on: 04/04/05, 11:39 » |
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Welcome Amy and good luck on your 2WW. Your feelings are normal and fine. We've all been there at some point in our journey to conceive. We told our family and a few friends about our fertility treatment and I'm glad we did. It's nice to talk to someone about other than my dh. Everyone has been great and supportive.
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Me and DH are 35...married 2 yrs...TTC for 2 yrs...m/c in Dec 2003...DH has mild sperm factor...started clomid 100mg for 1st IUI...BFP 4/27/05...Taylor Denise was born 12/30/05
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tinkerbell
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #6 on: 04/04/05, 16:13 » |
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thanks all... i was rushing thru a meeting to be able to read your posts... it really helps, thanks again!
you know what's funny/worse? the latest friend who got pregnant (we learned yesterday), she asked me to announce it to everyone! well, in fairness, i think she wants me to do the honor because I was the one who prodded her to take a test. (she was complaining how little AF she had last week, so I suggested it might be spotting due to implantation bleeding!). It turned out, I was right. We were having a party last night, the 2 of us are in the room, she took the test (twice!) and turned out to be +++! It was soooo emotional, I tell you. When we got the living room, she asked me to announce it to all our friends who were there. Everyone was cheering loudly. My DH hugged me tight, I know it meant 2 things - he is happy for that friend, and also his way of telling me "I hope you're OK". Most of the women were misty eyed. My friend's teenage daughter was hugging me for bringing the news. It was a good feeling, but deep inside I was wishing it was my own pregnancy that I was announcing.
DH is very supportive. On the drive home, he held my hand during the whole hour drive duration. I know he was showing his support. Also, my sister knows about my procedures, so I talk to her about it (she is overseas though). Anyway, I'm glad that I have this forum to share all these.
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I'm 32. DH is 36. TTC for 3 yrs. Had 3 clomid/IUI cycles with no success. Going for the next step, when suddenly got BFP (9/6/05). Due date 5/13/06
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Fortyfour
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #7 on: 04/04/05, 16:44 » |
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Welcome tinkerbell. 4 pregnant friends? ouch. I would not want that for me right now. I am tired of smiling and congratulating people with their unexepected pregnancies. Sorry if it sounds negative I am just weary of it lateley. Next week it could be different.
I was proud of myself at work. My coworker in homecare who is pregnant and is due 2 days before I was to be due before m/c called and asked If I wanted to go and see a baby to give him a shot. I wanted to scream, a newborn baby right now. Are you crazy? I just lost mine 4 months ago, you nut. But I calmly said that I was not comfortable with babies right now and refused the visit. She had 4 older patients but just had to offer me the baby. Crazy!!!!!!
Good luck with your test. When do you test? baby dust to you.
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Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
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WantsBaby2
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #8 on: 04/04/05, 20:15 » |
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Welcome Tinkerbell!
4 friends huh? WOW! That is a lot to handle. I had 3 last year and that is not a year I want to repeat. All I heard was baby baby baby! Then I would go home and cry my heart out. My one girlfriend went over her symptoms with me day after day! God help me, I was there for her every step of the way. She ended up getting mad at me a few months ago because she thought I was being insensitive to her! Life is crazy!
I wish you buckets of baby dust this time around! Keep us posted.
Wantsbaby2
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38 yrs. DH is 31 yrs. Married November 2002. No children. TTC since the honeymoon. Infertility treatments 2 yrs. 7 failed IUIs. 3 cancelled IVFs due to poor response to meds. Poor ovarian reserve. DH has male factors. Chicago, IL Presently looking into adoption!
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tinkerbell
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #9 on: 04/05/05, 09:52 » |
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hello to you all...
Fortyfour, I'm sorry about your m/c. 
This is getting crazy! now, it's 5 friends who are pregnant! My college buddy called me yesterday to ask me how i want to be a godmother? *my heart stopped*... she just got married! and now she's pregnant! I had to pull myself together and blurted out a hearty "Congratulations!!" and thanked her for asking me to be the godmother to her baby-to-be. And guess what else? I was also asked to be the godmom to the 3 other friends!!! so by Christmas, I will be a godmother to 4 new borns. It is bittersweet, I'm sure you know how am feeling.
Anyway, enough about my whining. I'm just glad I have you who understand the trials and tribulations of this 'ordeal'.
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I'm 32. DH is 36. TTC for 3 yrs. Had 3 clomid/IUI cycles with no success. Going for the next step, when suddenly got BFP (9/6/05). Due date 5/13/06
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tiggerpounce418
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #10 on: 04/05/05, 10:44 » |
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Tinkerbell,
That's really unbelievable 5 friends are pregnant now! You must have A LOT of friends, or this is really strange timing for them all to be pregnant at one time. Meanwhile, you can't seem to get pregnant. I know it is hard when everyone else seems to be having babies and you're the only one it seems, who does not. Do you know the cause of your infertility? I don't think I read that on your previous posts. Hopefully this month will be a good month for you. Try to keep your sanity!  Congrats on being Godmother to them all. It is bittersweet. I am Godmother to my 2 year old niece.
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tinkerbell
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #11 on: 04/05/05, 10:56 » |
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tigger - you're right, i have a LOT of friends, not counting the ones the we don't spend time at least once a month.
crazy huh? all of them almost within a 2-month period.
To answer ur question on infertility, DH sperm is OK (tested twice and both results are OK). I had HSG and my tubes are open, also ovulating monthly. I guess this is one of those unexplained infertility. 
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I'm 32. DH is 36. TTC for 3 yrs. Had 3 clomid/IUI cycles with no success. Going for the next step, when suddenly got BFP (9/6/05). Due date 5/13/06
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tiggerpounce418
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #12 on: 04/05/05, 11:13 » |
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I'm in the same boat. DH sperm tested, came out ok. I had hsg test and both tubes are open. This month I did my 1st cycle w/ Clomid. So, we'll see how it works out.
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Fortyfour
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #13 on: 04/05/05, 13:08 » |
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Hey tinkerbell, You dont have to be a godmom to all the kids you know. Your feelings are important also. If it is too painful for you then dont do it. Take care girl. I Would be hiding in the closet right now and not answering the phone.
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Forty Four years old, hubby is 52 married 4 years, TTC 4 years with this hubby, 14 years with first hubby, One adopted daughter, 2nd ivf done, 1st one pg with m/c, second no pg. Uses egg Donor. PG with twins on 3rd IVF mc twins on 8/25/05
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ElizabethS
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Re:4 close friends pregnant while I'm TTC for 2 years!
« Reply #14 on: 04/05/05, 17:19 » |
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tinkerbell - you must be a really great person and friend to have that many people wanting you to be their child's god mother. Just remember, this is the time in your life to be selfish and do what is best for you and your dh.
44 - wow, it blows me away how insensitive some people are. I hope they are just really clueless.  Seems we infertiles run into these clueless wonders way too frequently.
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