Adoption FAQs

Many couples opt to skip or move on from medical treatments and find the ultimate goal of parenthood is best met for them through adoption. Of course, with the decision to adopt comes many questions. Are you ready? Is domestic adoption better than international adoption? What is the difference between a closed adoption and an open adoption? While you may feel overwhelmed and ready to give up before even starting - don't! Here are the answers to the most commonly asked questions.

How do You Know if You are Ready to Adopt a Child?

Experts tend to agree: You MUST come to terms with your infertility in order to move to a successful adoption. Coming to terms with your infertility does not mean you forget about it. Rather, it means that you have grieved for your loss of a biological child and realize that sense of loss may last a lifetime. You need to be able to cope with life accordingly.

People who go into adoption without taking time to resolve feelings related to infertility are vulnerable to a failed adoption in the long run. Even worse, they risk having their infertility issues get in the way of being the best parents they can be! Adopting a child does not cure you of infertility. This will always be a part of you. Adopting WILL make you a parent, with all of it's joys and heartaches.

Can I Afford to Adopt a Child?

Yes, adoption does cost money, but actual costs can vary greatly depending on the type of adoption you choose. Some points to consider:

• Not all adoptions are expensive.
• You can have a modest income and adopt a child.
• You do not have to own a home to adopt.
• Adoptive families do not always pay all adoption expenses.
• You do not need to pay all adoption fees at once.
• Attorney fees to complete an adoption are not usually high.
• Some agencies have an unadvertised escort program for international adoptions.

There are ways to lower the fees associated with adoption, though. Consider these possibilities for reducing your adoption costs:

• Discounts or sliding scale fees allowed by agencies based on your income and/or type of child you want.
• Federal adoption tax credit.
• Employer adoption benefits, including direct reimbursement.
• Tax exemption on employer benefits.
• Military family subsidiaries.
• Low-interest adoption loans from financial institutions.
• Grants or loans from private foundations.
• Financial assistance for adopting hard to place children, such as those currently in foster care, older children, and children with disabilities or special needs.
• Adopting 2 children at one time.

Is There More Than One Type of Adoption?

No matter what you have heard, adopting a child boils down to 2 basic approaches:

• You can get someone to help you. There are hundreds of adoption agencies through out the U.S. that help people adopt a child. Agencies may be either public (run by the state's local human services agency), or private (non-profit or for profit organizations). Adoption agencies help you with all the necessary paperwork, and find a child for you based on your interests.
• You can do it yourself. Birth parents and adoptive parents can choose to work out and adoption without using an agency. These kinds of adoptions may be referred to as a private adoption, independent adoption or non-agency adoption.

Note: The degree of openness in an adoption can range from an exchange of non-identifying information to actual contact between birthparent and adoptive parent This varies with every adoption and is not dependent on whether it is an independent or agency process.

These days, more than 50% of infant adoptions in the U.S. are fulfilled independently. Some international adoptions are also being done privately. One must be prepared to learn a great deal and assume a greater degree of risk when working independently. You will need an attorney to help finalize the adoption in private.