Improving Family Dynamics
*Just as in bringing a new birth child into the family dynamic, your child will need to be told that his extended family, for instance, his grandparents, still love him, even if the new infant receives a great deal of attention. You may want to speak to your extended family about these issues so that they too can assure your child that he is loved and will remain so.
If you make the family aware of the issue, they will also take pains to shower the new child's siblings with love to reinforce the feeling that they remain an integral part of the family.
*Some siblings may benefit from a party celebrating the fact that they have become a big sister or a brother.
*If the siblings are adopted, bring out photo albums and retell the old stories about how they came into your lives and what you and your extended family felt at the time they entered the family circle.
*Involve your child in the process of preparing for the new child's arrival. Perhaps they will enjoy choosing a gift to welcome the new sister or brother, or perhaps they will enjoy decorating the room where the new child will sleep. Sometimes families celebrate the new child's arrival with a party. Your children can help plan the celebration.
*Make contact with other adoptive families having more than one child so your kids can see the family dynamic in action.
*Schedule alone time with your children after the adoption of their new sibling so they know they're still special to you.
If you give your child the tools to handle the situation with grace, you can rest assured that things will work out with time and flexibility.