New and maybe giving up...
3 Replies
Toddie - January 3

Hello all. I am online tonight researching information on whether there is a chemical connection between the type/amount of drugs I was prescribed to stimulate my endo-damaged ovaries during IVF and the depression and anxiety I have experienced for the past 6 months following this last of our 3 failed IVF attempts. I've run across this board, and after reading posts here I am hoping one of you can offer advice or support. I am 30 yrs. old and have no history whatsoever of either depression or anxiety, but had a panic attack during the last IVF attempt (they think it was an allergic reaction to Dexamethosone) and have been dealing with both ever since. DH and I are seriously considering a life without children. Ovum donation and adoption are not options we are comfortable with. On many message boards, including the Resolve board, there doesn't really seem to be anyone seriously considering child-free as an option. Sorry this ended up being such a long post, but has anyone out there dealt with depression/anxiety as a result of all of this, has anyone had repeated failed IVF attempts, or is anyone considering the choice to live without children? Although I don't want anyone to ever have to experience what I have, at the same time it would be so nice to feel a little less alone.

 

liz - January 3

Hi Toddie,

I am not sure how much help I can be to you but I read your post and felt I wanted to write.

I personally have noticed that through my whole journey of ttc I became very depressed. I suffered from anxiety attacks and honestly I believe it was from nothing more then the stress of ttc. The amount of stress you are under is horrible for anyone to have to go through. Although it is not nice to have to suffer at all from depression or anxiety attacks I think for many women it can be a very real reality for some.

I have never heard of someones experience with fertility meds causing depression or anxiety attacks but I can see how this could be the case for some. Every women is different and once you start messing around with hormones who knows what exactly could happen.

The decision to go child free is a very individual one as I am sure you are aware. There is clear cut answer that is right for everyone. I think you can talk to as many people as possible but ultimatly you must be content in your heart and soul with your decision.

I wish you the best of luck with you decision and truly hope you can find peace.

Take care,
Liz

 

Toddie - January 3

Hi Liz-
Thanks so much for your kind reply! It is such a comfort to know that I am not the only one to have dealt with this. If you feel comfortable sharing, how did you get through the depression and anxiety? I have been on Lexapro for 3 mos., but am tired of the side effects and am planning to try a psychologist who can help me develop strategies to deal with any symptoms that may still be lingering.
Thanks once again for your response.

Toddie

 

liz - January 3

Hi Toddie,

Well I am not big on the medications while ttc or pregnant for that matter so I steered clear of that. I must say my doctors did recommend it several times but I refused. I had trouble with depression and anxiety in the past and knew I could overcome this current battle if I tried hard enough. Some may argue and tell you it can not be controlled by yourself without medications however in some cases I disagree, especially the one I was in.

Now to answer your question... I would try to find other things to do besides sit and worry about getting pregnant. I would exercise by walking everyday. This helped alot and also being outside in the fresh air I could clear my head per say of all the thoughts I was having. Some days were very hard don't get me wrong, I would say I had more bad days then good days but I got through it. There were days when I would not want to get out of bed and it was a chore but I did it.

After I became pregnant I had some more rough times. I was pregnant with twins and at 8 weeks I lost one of the twins. I was devested and the depression came back. I went to my family doctor around 12 weeks for a sinus infection and told him of my depression. He said this happens to some pregnant women due to hormones and he could prescribe some medications suitable for pregnancy. I declined and asked about seeking a therapist. He thought that was a good idea so this is what I did. It helped in more ways then one but it is still hard sometimes. When I was 18 weeks pregnant I had another set back and back came the depression. I have since had wonderful news and the depression is pretty much at a stand still but there are still days when I wake up crying over who knows what and that is pretty much how my whole days goes. I am belief it is hormones but of course I am not a doctor so this is just my opinion. I think hormones play a larger part then we often realize.

Liz

 

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