IVF the continued journey (no bfp's please)
212 Replies
Marina - October 13

Hey,Lyly.That is a good news.I don't think there is a real chance you can get PG with 4.Well,the waiting game begins...Good luck!
My Lupron is fine,I think my body just got used to this,it doesn't bother me any more-just had a headache on a day3 or 4,but other then that- feel no different.
Thursday go for baseline u/s and Sat starting stims.

Yeah,Nicole,how that testing going?

 

Ianmichael3 - October 14

IT's weird, but I haven't been receiving the notifications of your postings :( Oh well! The testing...... well, still negative. It's funny, you wait and watch and think that the longer you look at it, maybe it will turn positive right before your very eyes! I'M nuts.

lyly: that is awesome, so good to hear!!!! My gut says twins already!

Yeah, Marina- any side effects?? The whole boob thing.... it really is no indication for me, since I have had that kind of pain before & got AF anyway. I remember my boobs DIDN'T hurt at all when I got pregnant with Ian. :(

 

lyly14 - October 14

Nicole- it is so hard to say with symptoms. Are you using a really sensitive test? Do you know what level of HCG it is able to pick up. There are some out there that wont pick it up until 40 or more. You need one that is able to pick up at 20-25 if you want a result before your period that is accurate. Even some of the ones that say test 5 days early only pick up at 30-40 so they only have like a 60%accuracy rate 5 days early. As far as twins....... I definitely wouldn't mind but I will fall over on the floor from shock if I even get one! Right now I am just going through the motions. I need to feel I have done all I can to have our biological child, but at this point I am not too optimistic. I will be honest. I am so much less stressed (or should I say dh and I) since we have been doing IVF. I though it would be more stressful but it is actually easier. That whole sex on demand stuff was really taking a toll on us. We would fight alot and I was so hormonal when taking the clomid that it wasn't even funny. Keep us posted on the hpts!!!!!!!!!!!

Marina- thank you for the good luck wishes. I wish you the same. Well it is almost time for your daily visits to the RE. I hope you get LOTS of perfect follies and many great embies. You are going to do a day 3 this time or day 5 again?

 

Ianmichael3 - October 14

http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/

The above link is where I got my little sticks, they are sensitive to 25 mIU.... so, I've got so many of them, I figure I'll just use 'em up :) I too am becoming less and less optimistic we'll be able to have another biological child. So many emotions I never thought I'd ever have...
It always seems to be that DH and I end up in a fight the night we're scheduled to 'try'. :( At least he's still on board with trying any ways. I sure am glad the 100mg of clomid worked, though- I don't think our marriage would survive anything over that!!! ;D

Symptoms, though--- I guess it's the progesterone that causes your 'chest' to ache. It's funny, but it feels like I have cinder blocks tied to by chest!!!

So when do you go back- the next thing is your beta test, right???

 

lyly14 - October 14

Nicole- That is exactly what happened with dh and I before. We always ended up in a fight the night we had to try. I think it is just the pressure. At least for us, we have not had that since we started the ivf process. The progesterone does have that effect on most women. For me it just makes me really tired. I don't go back now until my beta. So 13 more days but who is counting right?!?!

 

Ianmichael3 - October 14

COUNT- hum, let's see, who of us has time to count- Ha! LOL.... I am such a good worrier, I can find things to worry about even if everything seems to be going my way!

Of course, I will let you ALL know if there is even the faintest of faint lines tomorrow :)

 

Ianmichael3 - October 15

Well, so negative again this morning- then scant spotting this morning. I'm so mad, at the whole freakin' world and myself, and my DH. I just want to give up.

So give me your opinions: it took us a total of 10 months to conceive naturally with Ian (that was 7 years ago, just about). I had a polyp removed from my fundus on 3/25 this year, so my ob/gyn thought for sure I'd be preggers by now- that's why the clomid- plus I had mid cycle break through bleeding. Do we go through with having DH tested today & the consult on the 22nd (next Wednesday)- or just 'give up' trying so hard for next year, THEN take action if IT doesn't happen for us?!?!?!?!? I'm so mad, angry and confused. :( I just don't understand.

I'm going to keep testing - JUST IN CASE - but I fully believe AF is going to arrive this coming weekend. Besides, I'm sick of having to look at the tests.

OH YEAH, and the whole boob soreness- going away.

 

lyly14 - October 15

Nicole- I so understand your frustration. I would continue to test until you expected period (just in case). As far as everything else, so have you been trying since march? It can take up to a year to get pg naturally but they say at the age of 35 you should only wait 6 months to seek help. I wouldn't buy into the "don't try so hard" theory and it will happen. That one really irritates me >:( I would at least go for the consult and see what the RE has to say. You don't want to waste time waiting only to go in a year and find out there is a problem that is easily fixed. If everything checks out ok then great!!! At that point I think you could give it a rest and wait and see. I would just hate to see you look back in a year with regret that you should have gone and got tested. Unfortunately time is precious for us women. Our eggs only get older and risk of miscarriage and chromosomal problems only get higher. I am not trying to scare you, just want you to really think before you make the decision to wait it out! What ever you choose I will support you and be here to listen.

 

Marina - October 15

Nicole-I'm TOTALY agree with Lyly.Don't rely on "it'll just happen"-if it was going to happen,you'd be PG by this time.In this bussiness every single month matters!
And hon,you need to calm down,because if you go this way(I mean IUIor IVF) you are only at the begining of the tough path and you'll need all your patience and cooperation with your hubby-no fights!No blaming each other-it doesn't do any good.It doesn't matter who's fault it is ,you are both in the same boat for now.
And definately you guys HAVE TO check your hubby.Remember,40% infertility is because something wrong with men's sperm.

 

Ianmichael3 - October 16

:) Thank you girls. It (the sample appointment) was rough- he definitely had performance anxiety & because he had to concentrate sooo hard on getting it in the cup- I think he almost couldn't. Let's just say, I hope there's truth in the theory that volume/amount, doesn't matter!

I just carry a lot of guilt for having to put him through that & b/c there wasn't a lot 'there', now I think his sample won't be good at all, period. UGH! You are right though, I really can't go on like this.... and thankfully enough, he was a real champ through the whole thing. :)

So- I'm fully expecting AF this weekend and am still going to test because I don't want to have anymore epts laying around. I'll just rely on the doc from now on.... unless he advises otherwise.

You are right too, I wouldn't want to just keep trying in the hopes it would happen for us in a year, only to find out we'd waisted precious time and eggies. I'm glad we're at least going to see the RE & go from there.

Thank you guys so much for the support. I want to say you have no idea- but I know you do!

 

lyly14 - October 16

Nicole- OMG the same thing happened to my dh. It was really difficult for him to produce a sample and his analysis was terrible. He feels it was not accurate since we had gotten pg 3 times before and had normal post coital tests (PCT). Now that we have been doing IVF his counts have been much better (low normal) when he has to give a sample. Did you ever have a PCT done? They did them every other cycle while I was on clomid. Just so you know volume is one of the parameters of the analysis. If your dh didn't get all of it in the cup then the numbers may not be accurate so make sure they know that. So when will you know the results of the sperm analysis?

 

melmar - October 16

Hi guys!

Nicole-I wouldn't feel badly about DH and the whole performing on demand thing. My hisband was uncomfortable at first but got over it quite quickly (and the way I think about it is - us girls go through so much in our lifetime-if they can't perform into a cup for us-tough!) Besides-we found after my DH was tested there was a problem and he had surgery to fix it(not that it worked)-but at least we knew.

As for the stop worrying and it will happen thing-I agree with Marina and Lyly-the only one who might forget you're trying is DH b/c you will always have it on your mind. I have to be honest-I was a complete mess before the IVF, the clomid really didn't bother me-I just did it and went on with my life-but the IVF killed me. The money, the pressure, the hormones-I was completely a nutcase. After it didn't work-I cried for a day and then believe it or not-started to feel better. I feel like I went through the worst-the only thing that can happen now is it won't work again-okay, at least I know how I will react.

Oops-have to go-time to teach!
Will write more later-
Melissa

 

Ianmichael3 - October 16

lyly: I could call this afternoon about the results, but am undecided if I want to know. Maybe I should wait & DH and I can find out together next Wed....??? Curiosity always gets the best of me though. ::)

I think he got most of it in there... but not all, so I'll be sure the RE knows. We've never done a PCT, I'm just finishing up the 2nd cycle of clomid, as prescribed by ob/gyn who has been doing F/S u/s on day 14.

melissa: my DH had some sort of a procedure on his 'member' when he was about 7 y.o. He had some mysterious virus or infection and they had to check it out for some reason- so if there was any kind of damage, it would be hard for me to believe we were able to conceive our son (6 y. o.).

Overall, I guess my guilt comes from the fact that I feel like I'm the one pursuing this, not him, so he's the victim. Boy- does that sound ridiculous. You are right, I get to endure quite a lot as a woman, if all he has to do is aim into a cup, he does need to step up!

 

Marina - October 16

Well,Nicole,don't feel guilty.Really,ALL they have to do-is perform in a cup!!!Like they never done this before ;).Well ,maybe not in a cup.But they know what to do,trust me.My hubby never complains,but his results with our 1st IVF were horrible.Low volume,low count.It got better with time and practice :).And the fact that this whole thing in the begining was his idea(to have a baby),helps too-to keep him not complaining .And of course,the WHOLE thing is sooo killing on your sex life :-\.I'm not sure how I'll feel when this adventure is done,but right now I don't think I'll ever enjoy sex again.Just not interested.And I used to want it every day.
Not that I want to scary you,just a reality check.
And how you can wait until next Wed.?Of course find out!
Melissa-any news yet?
Lyly-how the 2ww going?

 

melmar - October 16

Nicole- just food for thought...when my DH got tested we found out the next day that we were pregnant with my son-the doctor actually asked me if I had an affair b/c my husbands result were so poor. He truly believed that there was no way that we were able to have a baby naturally-so sometimes miracles do happen. So there could be a problem-but maybe not. You will be glad you tested to just make sure.

Just remember -that this is an extremely emotional, tiring, stressful situation. I get mad at times and then at other times I get scared and then at other times I find I am just depressed about the whole situation-then there are those few occasions where I think this will all work out for the best..so who knows.

Marina- how are stims? I found the only reaction I had to them was when I took the progesterone-I was soooo tired. But on a good note-I swear they helped with a little weight loss :)

Lyly-first of all-congrats on all 4 making it! I am feeling good about my little embies making it then. How are you doing with the 2WW?? Are you going to take any tests before the HCG? Are you back at work yet?

I finally got AF yesterday-54 days later! Thank goodness-feeling PMSy for that long has really taken a toll on my mental state and body. I have been crampy and tired for the last 4 weeks I feel like. I will start my estrace today-although I forgot to take my pill this morning...great, right?? So I will take two this afternoon after I call RE for my next appointment(hopefully they won't be mad that I missed the pill this morning).

Bye everyone!!

 

Ianmichael3 - October 16

:) thanks for the words of encouragement- all those feelings, Melmar- yup AND a bag of chips!! LOL!

Yes, lyly- how is that going for you?!?!?! Let me know & I'll mail you my remaining epts- sensitive to 20-25 mIU ;D

 

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