informing others
6 Replies
shansy - November 13

Hi everyone-

Just had an emotional weekend and need to vent. My DH and I decided to tell his sister and our very close friend about our infertility. Recently, we told my family and I swear it does not get any easier telling this news!

I felt like an idiot telling his sister last night, I just sat there bawling and trying to get the words out. She is a very hard person to read and I don't know what she was thinking. Today I was wondering if perhaps we shouldn't of said anything, but my DH thinks it's for the best b/c now we don't have to hide anything or make up lies when we can't make certain plans b/c of doc. appt.'s, etc. She just sat there and said, "Wow." She hugged me real fast and then turned around and went into another room. Maybe she just needs time to digest this info. Maybe it hit her hard thinking that her only sibling will possibly not have any children. Whatever she was thinking, I could not get a feel for.

Now that we told her, we are going to tell his parents which I am dreading! :-[ I want him to be the one to say it (and I wish I didn't even have to be there) and I will probably start bawling again.

I'm trying to figure out why I can talk to my friends at work so easily and not get this emotional, but when telling family members or our best friends, I get so upset. Does this happen to anyone else? :-\

Feeling like an emotional trainwreck.



Fortyfour - November 15

Its always easier for me to hide my feelings with coworkers and friends. Impossible with family. You sound normal to me. Sorry for your pain and frustation. I hate infertility.


shansy - November 16

Thanks Fortyfour for letting me know that others feel the same. I am preparing myself for this weekend when we are going to tell my DH's parents... infertility definitely sucks.


Fortyfour - November 16

Shansy - All I know is that you never know where there is an angel hiding to help us through this. The inlaws might be real helpful or maybe not. I hope it goes well.


Debie - November 17

Shansy I'm feeling you and hope it goes well with your in-laws. I too find it much easier to communicate with friends coz my in-laws tend to be on the negative mode where I'm concerned, most unfurtunately, so I've learnt not to bother.

Good luck.


shansy - November 18

Thanks Debie and Fortyfour for your support! I am dreading it- I just feel like once you tell someone, it is never the same and each time they see me from then on, that is the first thing on their minds. It is kind of nice when people have no clue about it b/c it is like an escape for you when you are visiting with them b/c you don't have to answer questions, you don't get those "sympathy" looks, and you can put it in the back of your mind for at least some sort of break, ya know?? However, I know it is time to tell them so I am praying for the best reaction. Thanks again for your support.


fiso - November 26

Hi Shansy. I hope everything went fine with your in-laws.... My family and my in-laws are very supportive but they dont' ask questions. If I want to let them know what's going on, they listen. I feel that I'm very lucky with all of them. I have friends/acquaintances who dont' realize what it means to go through the treatments and not getting the expecting results. That is hard because you like them and you kind of count on them to be there for you but they start telling you stupid things without realizing...
Infertility sucks.grrrrrrrr!!!



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