The rollercoaster of the 2ww
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I had an IUI on 2/6, on my first cycle of Bravelle injections. (I had an IUI last July, on Clomid, that resulted in a pg, but I m/c before 6 wks.)
As I go through the 2ww, I have a fairly predictable rollercoaster of emotions, but even though I know it happens every time, I can't seem to change it.
After O, I am really excited and hopeful, then a few days later, reality sets in and I think about the statistics and probability, then, I get really depressed and think about how it is probably BFN and how many more times we will try this. Then, right before testing, I get really excited again, and then down when it's a BFN.
Do others find themselves doing this? How do you balance hopeful with realistic? How do you not make yourself crazy for 2 weeks out of every month?
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This is my second 2WW, and it's INFINITELY better than the first. First time, I just didn't know WHAT THE HECK I was "supposed" to be feeling, and so I literally was on the Internet for 12-14 hours a day SOLIDLY searching for what symptoms to expect, for exactly when implantation should take place... it drove me crazy. I really thought "this is how the brain of mentally unstable and obsessive people works." I had knew sympathy for them, believe me.
What I have done this time is to go to the library and get a TON of NON BABY books. I have finished 3 and I've been on my 2WW since Sunday, 2/4 (Superbowl!). Get books from David Sedaris, Bill Bryson, Dave Barry, Augusten Burroughs, Mitch Albom... all great and fast reading, all humorists who tell it like it is. They will keep you laughing and very interested.
My DH keeps keeing us soooo positive (he's even taken to NAMING the embryos), which, I hate to tell him, makes me angry because I hate to have the let-down be so devastating to him if the news is bad. But, he says he can handle it. Me, I like to be a realist, know my chances are bad, hope for the best, and have a Plan B (which are donor eggs).
Hope that helps!
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