Starting the dreaded wait again....
78 Replies
liz - July 17

Hello everyone -

Tracy - How are you feeling? I know you had a disappointment at your appointment last week with the cycts, are you feeling any better?

I have some bad news........ Af arrived yet again yesterday. I was hoping and praying so badly this month was it. Atleast on paper I had a perfect month. Well, I guess we go another round.

Hope everyone is doing well. I am thinking of all of you who test today, wishing you the best of luck.

Liz

 

jennifern - July 17

Jen,
I know--I am really scaring myself!!

Update: second line got darker & darker all weekend....I am in HUGE shock. As I said, I have NEVER seen a second line...wouldn't even know where it's supposed to go!
most major symptom has been bad headaches all weekend

Anyway-- I went to get beta this am. Should get the call any minute & I am FREAKING out!! I stupidly HPT'ed again & the line got a little lighter which really scares me--but I tested first thing in the am yesterday when I got the darker line--hoping that's it.

I just realized that even if I found out I am pregs I might still be a nervous wreck
Didn't go to the studio today (I am an art teacher & am working in a silkscreening studio for the summer) b/c it is 100 degrees here in NY & I didn't feel like dealing with the crowds & subways in this heat--who I am I kidding--I am sitting here waiting with baited breath

This is such a strange and nerve racking experience

I'm sure I'll be posting an update soon
Please keep your fingers very crossed

Hope you all are ok!

 

liz - July 17

Jennifern,

Good luck to you! I know how you are feeling right now. Try to take a deep breath! Waiting for that call is a real nerve wracker.

Calm......... Think postive........... Keep you fingers crossed (mine are crossed for you)

Let us know how you make out.

Liz

 

jennifern - July 17

Liz,
Just saw your post after I posted
I am really sorry--that sucks.
They told me last month that I couldn't of had a more perfect response & then I bled on the progesterone. When I had to put my cat to sleep the same week I didn't think I could take anymore sorrow.
I took a month off & enjoyed all the things I couldn't during trying & then got my spirits up when I tried again.

This is the worse sort of see-saw & I send you BIG hugs

 

tracylee - July 17

Hey All!

So sorry Liz, I know how disappointed you must be! I am right there with you. I had a big temp drop this a.m. so I know AF will be here in the next day or two. I was expecting it anyway, but of course I will still be devestated when it actually arrives!

Best wishes jennifern and Jen! Hope you get your BFP!

Slatka - me and you to wait out our last couple of days, before starting ALL over again!

Tracy

 

Slatka - July 17

Hi Everyone --

I'm waiting with everyone here for your bfp, Jennifern! The mind plays tricks on you and the pregnancy tests do too! Is it lighter/darker? Did I pee on it for the right amount of time?! All that stuff. I hope the bloodwork comes back soon and positive -- that's the only sure way to tell.

Hi Tracy -- yeah these days are crawling by. I'm having slight brown spotting, which annoys the hell out of me. I just want af to start! don't pretend you're not coming! Ah, well, I have to resign myself to the fact that I will not be getting an early jump this cycle, that I will actually start on the 19th or 20th, as I am scheduled to. Sigh. Hang in there the next few days, Tracy!

Good luck to you all! We are sweltering here in humid DC -- the temp reads 99 degrees but that's without the humidity factored in. What a marvelous time to have one's period!!

Take care -- Slatka

 

Shdy Grove 2 - July 17

Ladies,
I am so glad I found this site. I read the last postings and it is such an up and down. Gosh I hate to read about the AF's coming and know the process continues.

I got 'the call'. I am at the office, heard the message beep. Picked up my purse and walked out saying I had an errand to run. I would swear they heard my heart beating. My legs felt like jelly in the elevator. I drove to a private spot and listened to the message. I burst into tears when I heard it was BFP - hcg of 670. I was so sure I wasn't preggy and this was our last attempt, deal or no deal. I think the tension just left me. I am still cautious and will go for more monitoring, but it's in the right direction. Thank you all for your postings and sharing your symptoms and feelings. I helps SO MUCH. I only hope I can contribute. I actually feel great! The only indications maybe of it are I have cravings for things and I really can't let them pass. Also I have a stronger sense of smell. My bb's are feeling full, but didn't the first time, so maybe the second time around shows itself early.

Can't wait to hear from the other testers. Liz and Tracylee, I am pulling for you both. Just think of the great stories you can tell your little ones. "Do you know what we went thru to have you!" How loved they will be.

I go back on Wed and Fri for more BW.
Jen

 

jennifern - July 17

Congrats Jen!! 670 is a really good number...
I think I know just how you are feeling b/c Ijust got the call and it is a go!! Beta is 137
My heart is still beating a mile a minute & I am feeling very nervous--and then nervous b/c I'm nervous
yikes!!!!
The PA said that I shouldn't worry about the line getting lighter but I am anyway
I need to force myslef to relax & celebrate!
So the ground rules are: no sex until U/S (2 wks)((poor DH that will be 4 weeks!!))& no exercise
I'll keep you all posted
xxoo & positivity to all
jennifern

 

Shdy Grove 2 - July 17

;D Jennifern - a big CONGRATS to you! I've been hitting "refresh" on my computer waiting for the news. This is suspenseful! Looks like that little pink line picked up something. I hope all continues to go well.

Do you know the conception day or are you measuring DPO? My U/S is next week. That will be interesting.

Jen

 

tracylee - July 17

CONGRATS TO YOU BOTH! You must be thrilled! Best wishes to you both as you begin your prgnancy journey together!

Tracy

 

jennifern - July 17

Thanks!!!!

Jen- U/S would be in 2 weeks on the 31st
I have BW on Thursday--crossing my fingers it's doubling!!
My IUI was July 3rd and we BD'ed 2 days post ...
It's so weird to think that at this stage I'm technically 4 weeks
What about you?
& are you as nervous as I am??
Any advice on how to stay calm is welcomed!!

 

jennifern - July 17

BTW
Used last HPT so I could get rid of them & prevent myself from totally losing my mind --2nd line went back to a comfortable darkness again!
Now I have to force myself to drive by all drugstores

 

Shdy Grove 2 - July 17

Jennifern

Oh yes, you think the nerves would stop. Oh noooooo. Now repeat after me, "put down the stick." then "Step away from the women's isles." If you have to go to the store. do not even look in that section. You have graduated now... you're moving on to pregnancy magazines, crackers & ginger ale. I know, we thought the wait was over. The worrying has just begun. First the hcg levels, then the U/S. Jen I have to tell you... the worrying never stops. You worry until the 12 wks, then you hear stories, and you still worry, then the birth and then.... when you bring home that angel. Oh yeah...thats when the word terrified comes in. At some point you will realize that giving in to nature is really the only way you can remain sane. ( I am admitting this at the same time I've been on the internet all day today). Okay, I am intitled to a little indulgence. But keeping busy does help. You just realize that as long as you take care of yourself, eat healthy and follow the general guidelines.. you should be all set. Afterall the human race was proliferating for a long time. Your body takes over, then your instincts and there is comfort in that. This is a scary and thrilling adventure for sure!!!

I have the 2nd HCG wed, I'll let you know. And I'd love to hear how you are doing. Last time I started spotting about now. Kind of like the 1st day of AF. That continued for about two weeks. Yes - another cause for worry. UGh...

Jen

 

jennifern - July 17

Jen,
LOL!!!
& It's obvious that I've been online all day today as well!!
Gingerale & preg mags sound fine to me
I guess I really didn't realize that once we start this journey the worrying will NEVER stop...even when they are out of the house & married!!!! What a frightening epiphany. I read on someone's blog that this journey is like wearing your heart outside of your body all the time...
I like what you said about the proliferation /instincts of the human race---I am going to try to keep that as my mantra but it's really hard to sit back & trust nature after the past 2 years.
BTW are you restricting your exercise etc now? I think the only thing my PA signed off on is swimming so I may try to do some laps (i am the worst swimmer ever) but am scared it will mess with the prog. supps....
I hope Wed & Thurs are good days for us!
&I'm hoping for lots of BFP's from everyone so we can all worry together!!!

 

liz - July 18

Jen and Jennifern -

Congrats to you both. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I wish you both a healty, happy, safe pregnancy.

Good luck to you.

Liz

 

Shdy Grove 2 - July 18

Liz

Thanks for your message. I just want to share with you to keep pushing for what you want. I look back at the four years of trying for Olivia. The stage 3 endo, the blocked tubes, 2 Laparoscopies, three IUI's, clomid and diminished ovarian function. Then we did an IVF, which I said I would never do. When we had Olivia I felt sooo fortunate and a hugh sense of accomplishment. Challenges like these make us stronger and really appreciate what's important. I hope your DH and you remain a strong team and if its something you really want, you'll make it happen. Seek the best medical advice and trust your instincts if something doesn't make sense. We have to be advocates for ourselves. My ob at first dismissed endo, then I insisted on the larp surgery. Turns out I had stage 3. I then found one of the top larpo surgeons in the DC area and what a God he was. (Sorry for the ramble)

Now that we got a BFP on this last attempt I'm scared about this. Ugh, I had a plan if it was a neg, but now I feel totally vulnerable. It's like "what have we done!" How we will handle 2, what if something is wrong?

Jennifern, you are right about that quote, that's exactly what it feels like! Talk with you tomorrow. Will let you know about the beta. I've been listening to the nurse's voicemail over and over. See we all can be a little neurotic ;)

Jen

 

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